It’s a wedding one…

[PartyOnPlatformOne]

What is the etiquette for a UK wedding on who pays for what. The bride & groom or the guests:

• Bridesmaid dresses and groomsmen suits
• Bridesmaids hair and makeup
• Hotel rooms for guests (if wedding venue is 2+ hours away for most, and in remote location)

Bride and groom
Bride and groom
Could be either but a middle ground might be to subsidise the cost a bit if covering that cost completely is unaffordable. Sounds bloody inconvenient for the guests!

If you are calling the shots on dresses, and hair styling and make up then you need to pay.

You are not required to pay for accommodation.

Imo....if they arent skanks

Bride and groom

• Bridesmaid dresses and groomsmen suits
• Bridesmaids hair and makeup

Guests (possibly subsidised by B&G... but guest shouldn't be paying a premium to subsidise the Bride and groom)

• Hotel rooms for guests (if wedding venue is 2+ hours away for most, and in remote location)

If they are loaded Bride and groom pay for all 3.

Depends entirely on the budget for the wedding.

Edited to add that etiquette doesn't trump what someone can actually afford. So just because bridesmaids are expected to pay their own dress/hair/makeup, that doesn't mean the bride is unreasonable.

Bride & Groom pay but not for accom

The guests never pay for the dresses, suits, hair and makeup- that would be ridiculous!

Guests generally cover their own room if staying.

I have been a bridesmaid for a friend with a tiny wedding budget and bought my own dress. Also dh has been groomsman for more than one person and had to pay own suits/suit hire on more than one occasion. It depends entirely on social circles and budget. In our social circles it's totally fine!

It isn’t normal practice tbh.

If you can’t afford the wedding basics, then don’t get married. Dresses and suits for bridesmaids and groomsmen are basic wedding costs. Otherwise don’t have any.

I have no idea what their budget is.

Ok so, sorry if a drip feed.

I am a bridesmaid. Expected to pay for my dress £90. I can’t get something cheaper, we all have to match and have the same. My makeup will be £70. Apparently the makeup artist is popular on instagram. Not sure how much hair will be.

I will need to pay for a hotel room, I am a single person so no one to share costs with. Looking up to £200 for the night before the wedding and the night of the wedding. I feel cheeky asking any of my family for lifts as I need to be there early morning for hair and makeup.

I can’t afford this 😪

You don’t need to do the make up. Just say you don’t want it/are allergic to certain brands (any excuse you need!). It’s a shame they’re asking you to pay for the dress, I think they should cover that if they want something particular. I wouldn’t expect them to pay for accommodation though, that’s not the norm.

Only on mumsnet 😂 😂 😂

On what planet should someone not get married, just because they don't have the budget to buy dresses and suits for everyone 😆 ridiculous. Marriage is a union of 2 people in love. It isn't a parade or a show. This is why the wedding industry is ££££££.

I'm sorry op 😢 you'll just have to be honest with your friend and hopefully they'll offer to pay for you ❤️ you're not being unreasonable xx

Oh they can get married but don’t have the audacity to ask people to be bridesmaids and groomsmen if they’re not going to cover their costs.

Suits & dresses: bride & groom pay
Hair & make up: bride & groom pay
Accommodation costs: you pay

Exactly!

In your shoes I’d probably suck up buying the dress but refuse the hair and makeup and I’d stay at a cheap hotel or bnb nearby. Definitely no other single women who would want to room share?

dress, hair and makeup should be paid for by the bride and groom. Accommodation is usually the guest pays. Other countries have very different etiquette - bridesmaids buy their own dresses I believe.

As a bridesmaid they should be covering all your costs.

If a bride can't afford to pay for the bridesmaids dresses/hair/make up, then she needs to have either fewer bridesmaids, or tell the bridesmaids to wear what they want, and be ok with them doing their own hair and make up. It's not fair to put any bridesmaid in a position that they can't afford.

I think it's fine for guests to pay for their own room, as long as there are other options available, such other nearby, cheaper hotels, or if it's not too far to travel home again. Or for the bride and groom to be understanding that not everyone will want to attend if they have to fork out a lot of money to stay.

I agree, the bride needs to be more flexible.

Then don’t.

If you can’t afford to be a bridesmaid tell them, so they can transfer the “honour” to someone who can. It’s very cheap to expect bridesmaids to cover their own costs when they’re actually fulfilling a role for the bride.

You shouldn’t have to worry about this, speak up and put yourself out of this misery.

Hi lovely is you can’t afford it speak to the bride , sure she will understand? X

B& G
B& G
guests. I mean wedding are going to be a trek for many unless they all live in one area. All but one wedding I’ve been to involved an overnight stay and I’ve always paid for myself.

Op I would suggest being honest with the bride, even if it means you have to back out of being a bridesmaid.

They are being incredibly cheeky and unfair.

I had 2 bridesmaids and I paid for their dresses and hair. They preferred to do their own makeup. And i also paid for their hotel for the night before. (Just for my bridesmaids, not for other guests).

Obviously that poster is saying that they shouldn’t get married if that is their only standard of wedding.

If you can’t afford to cover the costs of a wedding, then get married in a registry office. But in no way should op have to be covering these costs.

I think etiquette is if they are insisting on a certain dress B&G pay. I think it’s reasonable to give a colour scheme for bridesmaids to wear their own dress which they would have to pay for. Could you send the bride photos of cheaper options?

If the B&G can’t afford hair and make up for all bridesmaids then it should be optional. Just tell the bride you can afford it and will be doing your own.

For accommodation, I think it’s gracious and should be the done thing that bridesmaid accommodation is organised, however it sounds like this will be out of their budget. The B&G should be trying to match people up in the wedding party to lessen costs. Also, if it is country hotel style, they often get a discount code for block bookings so check this out.