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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think there will be many more disabled adults in 20 years?

655 replies

Walkyrie · 03/05/2026 22:04

I’m disabled myself, just to put that out there.

It just seems like the number of people with a disability, usually a psychiatric one, is going through the roof.

40% of disability benefit claimants are claiming for mental health related reasons. The number of anxious children and teens on here, and that I know in my own life and family, is really really high. So many schools refusers and kids in need of extra support, special school placements and so on. It seems there are a lot of unemployed young adults living at home who simply don’t have the mental acuity to get a job, live independently, have a life of their own.

3 children in my family are currently school refusing, one we only found out about today but it was not a surprise as she’s always been very anxious and has selective mutism.

My AIBU is, should we be doing something to prepare for what may be a very high number of adults not working in years to come? How will we sustain them all?

OP posts:
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TigerRag · 04/05/2026 12:58

SpryTaupeTurtle · 04/05/2026 12:54

I'm on adp. I was asked to send fit notes to them along with other evidence of my health issues because it gave details of my condition and limitations on work that I was capable of doing

ADP isn't paid for those who can't work because of disability. It's paid to those with long term disabilities which cause care and /or mobility needs

Velumental · 04/05/2026 12:58

Everlore · 04/05/2026 12:56

Wow, I am very glad that no over-zealous midwife was present at my birth to 'help me on my way', by which, of course, you mean murder a newborn.
I was born severely disabled, with no eyes and multiple joint deformities. I have, however, enjoyed a rich and rewarding life. Did very well at school, achieved a first class degree from a top university, have a fulfilling career I enjoy and, most importantly, am very happily married with a perfect baby of my own. None of this would have been possible without my wonderful parents, especially my dad, who did absolutely everything they could to ensure I had a happy and enriching childhood and as many life opportunities as possible.
I am very grateful that a midwife didn't take one look at me when I was born and decide my life would never be worth living and it would therefore be the kindest thing to 'put me out of my misery'.
I would be horrified to live in a country where babies were routinely killed at birth because someone had made an instant decision that their life had no value and that they would never amount to anything due to their disability, I am dismayed that you seem to be looking back on a time when such things may have happened with misty-eyed nostalgia.

That's so impressive, well done! I'm so glad you had that support in place.

I also agree with every other word you say.

Restlessdreams1994 · 04/05/2026 13:01

We have an aging population and a falling birth rate, plus a lot of young adults who can’t/won’t work.

Thank goodness for immigration bringing working age adults and young families in to boost our economy eh?

SpryTaupeTurtle · 04/05/2026 13:06

TigerRag · 04/05/2026 12:58

ADP isn't paid for those who can't work because of disability. It's paid to those with long term disabilities which cause care and /or mobility needs

I have long term disabilities that cause care and mobility needs. I was still asked to provide a fit note as evidence that I was suffering from certain conditions. I think the fact that I had a triple leg fracture that had to be pinned back together, snapped my ankle and tore ligaments qualified me for the benefits

As I said earlier. I was asked to hand in fit notes as evidence that I was suffering from certain conditions (ptsd in particular) along with evidence of medication and consultants letters. It might not be general practice but they asked me to send them

plsdontlookatme · 04/05/2026 13:08

Applesonthelawn · 04/05/2026 12:15

The point here is not that people with (say) schizophrenia, genetic issues or similar conditions should just "get on with it", when that is obviously an unrealistic expectation. It's the grey area in the middle where the assessment is less clear that is the problem. Less available work is part of it, but it's also due to some people's willingness to avoid work and get something for nothing if they can. The work ethic in this country has really changed in the past 50 years and the recognition that we give work life balance has provided a vehicle for that. Faced with a choice of living in a country with very little economic wealth or people accepting a bit more strain on their mental health, I know which I would choose. Being idle does not support anyone's mental health, and being poor is certainly bad for it.

People 50 years ago didn't have a better work ethic - they just knew that if they worked full-time they wouldn't have to live in a house share.

Allisnotlost1 · 04/05/2026 13:14

Walkyrie · 04/05/2026 12:28

You seem to be trying to aggressively chase me down 1 narrow school of thought so you can go ‘SEE’ and then declare my entire thread invalid. You clearly have some kind of sore point regarding kids in burnout at home on tablets. I think we can all agree this is no life for a human being, and more to the point if they’re expecting financial support how the heck will we manage it with so many

I’ve literally engaged a handful of times on a specific point that you’ve also responded to me on. If you find that aggressive I won’t respond to you again 🤷‍♀️

Applesonthelawn · 04/05/2026 13:16

plsdontlookatme · 04/05/2026 13:08

People 50 years ago didn't have a better work ethic - they just knew that if they worked full-time they wouldn't have to live in a house share.

I have always worked full time and lived in a house share until I was 33. Had no money for anything - never went out, didn't have "going out" clothes, used to walk miles literally to save a 50p tube fare, lived off vegetables I bought from Croydon market once a week. Managed to save £2,600 eventually for my first deposit on a house. People definitely did have both a different work ethic and different expectations of spending money. 67 now and still working full time.

Kirbert2 · 04/05/2026 13:19

Everlore · 04/05/2026 12:56

Wow, I am very glad that no over-zealous midwife was present at my birth to 'help me on my way', by which, of course, you mean murder a newborn.
I was born severely disabled, with no eyes and multiple joint deformities. I have, however, enjoyed a rich and rewarding life. Did very well at school, achieved a first class degree from a top university, have a fulfilling career I enjoy and, most importantly, am very happily married with a perfect baby of my own. None of this would have been possible without my wonderful parents, especially my dad, who did absolutely everything they could to ensure I had a happy and enriching childhood and as many life opportunities as possible.
I am very grateful that a midwife didn't take one look at me when I was born and decide my life would never be worth living and it would therefore be the kindest thing to 'put me out of my misery'.
I would be horrified to live in a country where babies were routinely killed at birth because someone had made an instant decision that their life had no value and that they would never amount to anything due to their disability, I am dismayed that you seem to be looking back on a time when such things may have happened with misty-eyed nostalgia.

Yep.

and where would it end? Could medical professionals decide that a child's life isn't worth saving at 1, 5, 7, 12, 16 too because they may be disabled as a result?

My son became disabled at the age of 8 due to surviving from complications of an illness which he wasn't expected to survive and the only reason he did survive is because every medical professional he came across didn't give up on him. I was warned it wasn't likely he'd survive but I was also told that they would try their best and I believed them.

I couldn't imagine living in a world where you hand over your critically ill child to someone who would think 'eh, they'll probably be disabled if they survived anyway, lets not bother'.

plsdontlookatme · 04/05/2026 13:20

If we're making sweeping judgements about the work ethics of younger people, can we do the same about older age groups? or is that ageism?

SpryTaupeTurtle · 04/05/2026 13:26

Applesonthelawn · 04/05/2026 13:16

I have always worked full time and lived in a house share until I was 33. Had no money for anything - never went out, didn't have "going out" clothes, used to walk miles literally to save a 50p tube fare, lived off vegetables I bought from Croydon market once a week. Managed to save £2,600 eventually for my first deposit on a house. People definitely did have both a different work ethic and different expectations of spending money. 67 now and still working full time.

There are people my age or slightly older (I'm in my late 50s) who didn't work for a long time. It used to be easier to claim sickness benefits than now (incapacity benefits) because a sick note would generally cover you I'm not trying to suggest at all that everyone wasn't entitled but I remember going home one night and someone on the bus saying if they take me off it I'll say I've had an eppy (his words) epileptic fit

The all work test wasn't introduced until 1995 I believe

29000seconds · 04/05/2026 13:30

Charlize43 · 04/05/2026 06:51

Your post is full of ageist nonsense.

The Elderly (excepting those on benefits) are the ones who have funded the system through their taxes through 40 years of working life, whereas those that haven't worked have contributed / are contributing nothing.

Without working people, there would be no hand outs to give out.

No, they have not. On average each current retiree is extracting over £200k more in welfare and services over their lifetime than they have paid in real-terms in tax over their lifetimes. They have nowhere near covered the cost of the services and welfare which they are demanding as a cohort, and it is working-aged people who are paying the price through sky-high tax rates and all other services such as infrastructure, schools, defence, industrial strategy, local amenities etc being run into the ground with endless real-terms cuts to budgets and, therefore, the continually-falling living standards that result from this because it lowers growth and productivity.

In contrast, for example, the Millennial cohort will pay circa £300k more per person in tax over their lifetime than they receive in welfare and state services, based on current projections: those of working-age now are directly picking up the tab for the largely ungrateful and supremely entitled current cohorot of retirees, and this will be even worse for Gen Z: nothing will improve until a significant proportion of public spending is redirected toward the young and productive investment because raising productivity is the only way to sustainably raise living standards. The longer the denial of this reality continues to lower living standards will fall and the less likely it will become that they will recover (and longer it will take to repair the damage, if it can br done before the doom loop becomes irreversible).

Obviously in the case of neither of the cohorts mentioned is this evenly distributed across the cohort, but the fact remains that the Boomer generation have taken out far more than they contributed as a whole, despite living through the most prosperous time in recorded history. They also degraded/ sold a lot of the country’s infrastructure and managed to run up a huge national debt, just paying the interest on which is now costing almost as much as the education budget and defence budget combined.

Yet many among the most entitled and self-righteous cohort in history refuse to accept these well-evidenced economic facts, cry “ageism” if anybody dares to mention these facts or regale you with personal anecdotes resembling a Four Yorkshireman sketch as though their personal experience negates the nationwide economic data, and are determined to bleed every last drop out of the country despite many of them being perfectly capable of funding their own livings costs, and any suggestion that they should do so is met by deflective whataboutery talking about the small proportion of pensioners who are living in poverty from whom nobody is suggesting removing support.

The most tiresome part of their delusions is the continual attempts to blame those of working age and call them “lazy” (even though working-age welfare as a percentage of tax revenue has been relatively static for 50 years and workforce participation is at an all-time high) or even blame disabled children for the economic problems of the country which this cohort created and of which everyone else is now suffering the effects. It’s sometimes difficult to ascertain whether such people (and it’s not all of the cohort, obviously: NABALT 😁, just the particular segment of them I have described) are so ignorant that they genuinely believe their assertions that are completely detached from publicly available economic data, or whether they are aware of these basic economic facts and are deliberately being disingenuous and desperately trying to blame everyone else for the mess they have created.

suburburban · 04/05/2026 13:35

29000seconds · 04/05/2026 13:30

No, they have not. On average each current retiree is extracting over £200k more in welfare and services over their lifetime than they have paid in real-terms in tax over their lifetimes. They have nowhere near covered the cost of the services and welfare which they are demanding as a cohort, and it is working-aged people who are paying the price through sky-high tax rates and all other services such as infrastructure, schools, defence, industrial strategy, local amenities etc being run into the ground with endless real-terms cuts to budgets and, therefore, the continually-falling living standards that result from this because it lowers growth and productivity.

In contrast, for example, the Millennial cohort will pay circa £300k more per person in tax over their lifetime than they receive in welfare and state services, based on current projections: those of working-age now are directly picking up the tab for the largely ungrateful and supremely entitled current cohorot of retirees, and this will be even worse for Gen Z: nothing will improve until a significant proportion of public spending is redirected toward the young and productive investment because raising productivity is the only way to sustainably raise living standards. The longer the denial of this reality continues to lower living standards will fall and the less likely it will become that they will recover (and longer it will take to repair the damage, if it can br done before the doom loop becomes irreversible).

Obviously in the case of neither of the cohorts mentioned is this evenly distributed across the cohort, but the fact remains that the Boomer generation have taken out far more than they contributed as a whole, despite living through the most prosperous time in recorded history. They also degraded/ sold a lot of the country’s infrastructure and managed to run up a huge national debt, just paying the interest on which is now costing almost as much as the education budget and defence budget combined.

Yet many among the most entitled and self-righteous cohort in history refuse to accept these well-evidenced economic facts, cry “ageism” if anybody dares to mention these facts or regale you with personal anecdotes resembling a Four Yorkshireman sketch as though their personal experience negates the nationwide economic data, and are determined to bleed every last drop out of the country despite many of them being perfectly capable of funding their own livings costs, and any suggestion that they should do so is met by deflective whataboutery talking about the small proportion of pensioners who are living in poverty from whom nobody is suggesting removing support.

The most tiresome part of their delusions is the continual attempts to blame those of working age and call them “lazy” (even though working-age welfare as a percentage of tax revenue has been relatively static for 50 years and workforce participation is at an all-time high) or even blame disabled children for the economic problems of the country which this cohort created and of which everyone else is now suffering the effects. It’s sometimes difficult to ascertain whether such people (and it’s not all of the cohort, obviously: NABALT 😁, just the particular segment of them I have described) are so ignorant that they genuinely believe their assertions that are completely detached from publicly available economic data, or whether they are aware of these basic economic facts and are deliberately being disingenuous and desperately trying to blame everyone else for the mess they have created.

Edited

Remember some of them started work at 16 or younger even.

29000seconds · 04/05/2026 13:39

suburburban · 04/05/2026 13:35

Remember some of them started work at 16 or younger even.

That doesn’t change the economic facts stated above.

I am in my 40s and I started work at 13, worked full time AND studied from 16 onwards. This is irrelevant to whether a cohort of people is paying/ has paid its way or not. The economic data on this is irrefutable and unchanged by personal anecdotes.

ThatLemonBee · 04/05/2026 13:40

Blondiebeachbabe · 04/05/2026 10:56

Older parents having kids who do better in school, is probably because they are wealthier and can throw money at extra tutoring and private schools, as needed.

This has nothing to do with the fact that older parents statistically have more children with birth defects. You could be a multi millionaire - unless there's a cure, no amount of money is going to fix that.

if it doesn’t hurt anyone what’s with you or anyone else ?

29000seconds · 04/05/2026 13:43

plsdontlookatme · 04/05/2026 13:20

If we're making sweeping judgements about the work ethics of younger people, can we do the same about older age groups? or is that ageism?

Oh that’s always “ageism”, allegedly, even when it is a reference to publicly available economic data produced by the ONS and analysed by the IFS, OECD, etc. 🧐😒🙄

suburburban · 04/05/2026 13:46

Badbadbunny · 04/05/2026 11:48

But death in childbirth was higher, as was infant mortality. Quite frankly, disabled children were less likely to survive, so, no, we didn't see large numbers of disabled because they didn't make it to adulthood etc. Modern medicine has made a lot of previously untreatable illnesses treatable.

My grandmother also always maintained that midwives would often "make the decision" themselves if they were delivering a seriously disabled child, and would "help" it on it's way and then say it was still born!

Yes my dgm was a maternity nurse and this happened

suburburban · 04/05/2026 13:46

29000seconds · 04/05/2026 13:39

That doesn’t change the economic facts stated above.

I am in my 40s and I started work at 13, worked full time AND studied from 16 onwards. This is irrelevant to whether a cohort of people is paying/ has paid its way or not. The economic data on this is irrefutable and unchanged by personal anecdotes.

If you say so

29000seconds · 04/05/2026 13:47

plsdontlookatme · 04/05/2026 13:08

People 50 years ago didn't have a better work ethic - they just knew that if they worked full-time they wouldn't have to live in a house share.

Actually fewer of them worked than is the case now.

To think there will be many more disabled adults in 20 years?
29000seconds · 04/05/2026 13:48

suburburban · 04/05/2026 13:46

If you say so

Nope. Economic data proves so.

Everlore · 04/05/2026 13:49

suburburban · 04/05/2026 13:46

Yes my dgm was a maternity nurse and this happened

How very chilling.

TapestryNeedle · 04/05/2026 13:50

welcome to the UK, the best possible country for this outcome. Not being sarcastic. So glad that at least we have still this thing going on here....I am only worried that the money might end one day....

SpryTaupeTurtle · 04/05/2026 13:51

suburburban · 04/05/2026 13:46

Yes my dgm was a maternity nurse and this happened

There is little or no evidence to back this up.

suburburban · 04/05/2026 13:52

Everlore · 04/05/2026 13:49

How very chilling.

It was a long time ago perhaps late 30s onwards but the medical advances were not there

SpryTaupeTurtle · 04/05/2026 13:52

TapestryNeedle · 04/05/2026 13:50

welcome to the UK, the best possible country for this outcome. Not being sarcastic. So glad that at least we have still this thing going on here....I am only worried that the money might end one day....

Is this yet another sarcastic post about people with mental health issues getting disability benefits?

suburburban · 04/05/2026 13:53

SpryTaupeTurtle · 04/05/2026 13:51

There is little or no evidence to back this up.

I was responding to another poster who was saying a similar thing

different times