AIBU to think their no-touching rule for the baby is OTT?

[Pretfeen]

Some relatives recently had a baby. They are quite a young couple in mid 20s and have set a rule that no one is allowed to hold or touch baby until he's at least 12 weeks old, not even grandparents. Before 4 weeks no one could visit. Now visits are permitted but only to look at baby, no touching.

For background baby is healthy, born full term so no issues like that.

AiBU to think this is a bit OTT and precious? Obviously it shouldn't be pass the parcel with a newborn, no kisses, wash hands, stay away if sick etc but I've never seen this level of protection before.

Obviously it's their baby, their rules and I'm not going to break them. I'll visit in a few weeks and keep my distance.

Is this a Gen Z thing? Or are they a bit extreme? I was never this way with my DC nor were any friends and relatives in my age group. We'd usually visit a week or two after and hold baby after washing hands. Maybe I'm just a bit blasé about these, I'm sure there will be plenty of sanctimonious parents in here who'll tell me AIBU

I remember very fondly the first time relatives held my newborn. It was such a tender moment, such love and awe from relatives, the excitement and joy at his safe arrival, the return of old memories for them of their own children, the care and affection they showed me.

Such precious and happy memories (after a very difficult birth and in not such a happy time). It’s a shame that they will miss out on this.

They are clearly control freaks who already want to tell everyone what they can and can’t do,no one even family can hold baby until they say you can 😆

Are they the only couple ever to have had a baby? Ye gods, I just wouldn’t visit because they sound like they would find a reason to be mad at you somehow

And probably poor baby will not be allowed to touch anything, God forbit getting dirty or anything similar... I am positive he/she will develop plenty of allergies as they will not be able to protect the immune system enough, which comes along with dirt and playing in the sandpit... Poor poor baby.

It’s an excellent reason not to visit them though. Why don’t I know people like that?

I would respect their wishes and keep my own thoughts about their decision to myself.

I kinda assume your sibling is a father in this scenario. I would not imagine a man would come to this idea, so it must be his crazy wife, who had too much time during pregnancy and read all the possible s* she found on net. Just avoid I would suggest.

You can say ‘shit’ on here

I think it’s an American thing isn’t it?

I see posts online about making sure granny is vaccinated before coming to visit and all sorts.

Their baby, their rules. There are lots of batty things people are obsessed with and it’s not doing anyone any harm.

I recently attended a meeting about the immune system and the conditions that are caused by overreactive immune responses.

Under exposure at a young age was cited as a potential risk factor for going on to develop autoimmune diseases such as Crohns.

Exactly this

Probably unpopular opinion, but really other than grandparents nobody really gives a shit about your baby

The parents are definitely OTT.
I worry what sort of childhood the poor kid is going to have if the parents start like this!
What happened to the good old adage "It takes a village to raise a child".

That's absolutely not true. I've been really excited about all my nephews and nieces and great nephews and nieces. A new member of the family is a big thing.

If it’s weeding they want to do, then to continue the analogy this is a bit like trying to get rid of the dandelions in your garden with a nuke. They’re going to put off just about everybody with precious, rigid rules like this, including normal loving relatives. I’d feel like they didn’t really want me anywhere near.

Very much agree. A potato is a potato

Ridiculous. I feel sorry for the child/

I think that's OTT. We visited my brother and his wife yesterday and their baby is 6 weeks old, and we all had a cuddle (including my 6yo). We just didn't kiss him. Realistically, touch is the only meaningful way to bond with a newborn. They don't understand spoken language, they can barely see further than a few inches from their faces, but they do understand being held, rocked, bounced and stroked.

...thanks for posting this

As I posted above in the thread the research (posted the John Hopkins article about new babies and immunity) shows that the babies who recover from those early infections are often affected for life.

So it's not inconsequential

Having had a virus does not confer ongoing immunity (again detail above)

There is another post on mum's net today about in laws never visiting their grandchildren. I wonder what the first months of the grandchildren's lives were like.

Everyone I know was like this or similar. Their baby, their choice! It may feel silly to you but I guess it’s important to them.

Meh their child their rules IMO.

Never understood the demand for holding a baby so early on. My sister never met my DD until she was 5 (different countries) and they have a great bond.

This is awkward (blush), I would ask people to use hand sanitizer before they picked up my baby. Often I would give a blanket/sheet so they could spread it on their lap to avoid the baby's face touching their clothes (thinking buttons, outdoor germs).
That was 16 years ago.
In fairness my daughter had terrible heat rash and I was a hyper anxious first time mum.

My dad didn’t live to see any of my.children - I’d have given anything to have seen him cuddling them as newborns If they do regret it - the moments gone hasn’t it? They can’t get it back.
Also I think anxiety feeds on itself - what if they can’t bring themselves to relax their rules at three months?