AIBU to think their no-touching rule for the baby is OTT?

[Pretfeen]

Some relatives recently had a baby. They are quite a young couple in mid 20s and have set a rule that no one is allowed to hold or touch baby until he's at least 12 weeks old, not even grandparents. Before 4 weeks no one could visit. Now visits are permitted but only to look at baby, no touching.

For background baby is healthy, born full term so no issues like that.

AiBU to think this is a bit OTT and precious? Obviously it shouldn't be pass the parcel with a newborn, no kisses, wash hands, stay away if sick etc but I've never seen this level of protection before.

Obviously it's their baby, their rules and I'm not going to break them. I'll visit in a few weeks and keep my distance.

Is this a Gen Z thing? Or are they a bit extreme? I was never this way with my DC nor were any friends and relatives in my age group. We'd usually visit a week or two after and hold baby after washing hands. Maybe I'm just a bit blasé about these, I'm sure there will be plenty of sanctimonious parents in here who'll tell me AIBU

It’s ridiculous, I’d be so upset if this were my grandchildren. Like you said you have to go along with it though.

Its not fueled by social media, it's current NHS advice ...to avoid kissing babies, to potentially wait to visit and more. To stay away if you are unwell.

It's about reducing serious illness and death...measures like this have seen infant mortality decline from the 60s and 70s ...though UK figures are plateauing ..compared to other comparable countries..

The advice is based in science and for serious reasons to protect babies

Yeah those rules seem very over the top. I’d be curious as to why they’ve been put in place though. I suffered with severe postpartum anxiety and depression after having my first baby. I was happy for people to meet and hold her but looking back, I imagine some of my (overprotective) behaviour was probably judged quite negatively. Having a baby is (mostly) a beautiful, wonderful experience but it can also be terrifying, exhausting and just plain mental! It’s easy to let your anxiety run away with you. Give them time to ease into it. I’m sure it won’t be this way forever.

That isn't what its about. Obviously.

My youngest caught a bug at 2 weeks and was hospitalised, she had 2 older brothers who went to playgroup. So no prizes for guessing where she got that. By the time subsequent kids appear pfb will be the one giving them every bug going.

I wonder how that is working out in Spain and Italy and Greece where babies are loved by the community and passed around all the time.

I actually think it's better for the baby to be exposed to adult human germs, this is how they will strengthen their immune system. No to kissing is fine, but contact and cuddling is instinctive and will also help to socialise their baby. Is the mother/father OCD/has some neurodivergent tendencies?

Touch and smell are how primates bond with babies and we are primates.

Friends of ours were like this. They came to see our babies and held them when they were born but we weren’t allowed when it was their baby.
No one was allowed to hold her until she was 18 months old and had followed stringent procedures. I still wasn’t allowed as I might not know ‘what to do’ I was a mum of 3 at the time!
Needless to say their child is a nervous wreck at nursery, they are struggling and the grandparents won’t babysit as they feel a bit miffed (rightly so) about not being included in the beginning and not really having a bond with her.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DFKgX6ys8G4/?igsh=MThmNXRyMXhpYW1xNA==

A Drs advice about visiting babies

Are you… serious? I suggest you have a good Google, and keep yourself away from any newborns in the meantime 🫠

Not just Gen Z that are batshit.

My brother and SIL were like this nearly 30 years ago. When my niece was born we were told we weren’t allowed to meet her for 4 weeks and then there was a long list of ridiculous rules we had to stick to. I just laughed at them and went about my business as usual. 6 weeks in, my brother was on the phone asking why I hadn’t been to visit my niece!

To be honest they did their utmost to keep us all away from their 2 kids. They weren’t allowed to come to our houses and none of us (Grandparents and Aunts) were not allowed to take them out. Their fear was we would feed them something that wasn’t on their ‘acceptable’ list! They were told so many times that we would all ensure we followed their diets. Not that following a vegetarian diet is that difficult to follow!

I linked with my Neice when she was about 15 on FB - her Mum found out and suffice to say, I got blocked.

We have absolutely no relationship with my Neice or Nephew and my DS has never met his cousins. Sad state of affairs, but some parents are just crackers.

Every mum misses the new baby smell and I don’t think it’s uncommon to sniff a babies head when you snuggle them ❤️

My ex husbands family are Indian. From the first day his mother and aunts and sisters were with us, helping, giving support, feeding us. They cuddled both babies as soon as they got home, fed them (I didn’t want to bf), bathed them, sang to them and changed nappies and were an amazing and lovely addition to our house and family.
my parents were more formal and distant both emotionally and physically but also were there from the start, along with my brother and sister and showered my children in love.
Over 20 years later both girls have loving and close relationships with both sides of their family and love hearing stories about their baby days from both sides.

Zoomers are really strange, yes. The product of overly-protective Gen X-style parenting.

It’s ridiculous, you would think from the antics of some new parents that nobody has had babies before.

Its crazy, and then people wonder why their friends drift/lose interest after becoming a mother! Its not because youre a mother, its because youre being deluded.

We had this recently in our family. No one allowed to visit the house at all. Public Health nurse had told them to keep baby away from everyone until they'd had their 1st vaccinations. I have to say I found it very upsetting that they didn't want anyone to meet the baby.

It's madness and I blame social media. I've got loads of photos of my dc being held by all sorts of people, it's lovely.

Their rules seem completely ott to me but the fact you are being super rude about the mother and are flippantly saying you just won’t bother to go see your siblings new baby, that you won’t be babysitting the child in future, doesn’t make you sound particularly nice. You are so close that it’s terrible you aren’t allowed to hug this baby but at thr same time you don’t actually care enough about it to go meet it just because the mother (who by the sounds of it is a first time mother and has who knows what level of stress or nerves) has a few rules.

What should she google, she's right. Are you under the impression that most bacteria on and in the human body are harmful? Because that's really not the case.

Breastfeeding exclusively for 6 months and alongside solids until at least 2 is the recommended age as per the world health organisation.
The rest I find unusual

It sounds like potentially post partum anxiety.

So "I wouldnt visit for twice as long as what they say" and isolating a potentially vulnerable new parent just because you don't like their rules would be quite a shitty thing to do.

Why would the number of people who hold your baby have anything to do with social media?

Did they actually leave the house with the baby? Because surely, if they think that, going anywhere is dangerous?