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Friend’s awful dress and my reaction

974 replies

SummerFate · 02/05/2026 15:28

A friend is mine is quite heavily into fashion and spends a lot on clothes. Some of her choices are quite bold and not necessarily what I would pick, but she has a good figure and is quite distinctive looking, so can generally pull off something a bit more “out there”.

However, yesterday she showed me the dress she has spent a fortune on for an event - and it’s hideous. Not “not to my taste” - objectively hideous. And my face reacted before my brain could tell it to keep quiet.

She could tell immediately that I thought it was awful and she looked really upset. She said straight out, “You hate it, don’t you?”, and while I tried to say it just wasn’t my personal cup of tea, it was too late. It was obvious I hated it. I said we all have different tastes, what suits her wouldn’t suit me and that I’ve seen things look amazing on her that I could never wear, but the rest of the evening was really awkward.

I’ve messaged this morning saying I’m sorry if I upset her and that I didn’t mean to, and that she shouldn’t let what I think affect her choice. She hasn’t replied.

How do I fix this? Do I just hope it blows over? I know I should have tried to hide my thoughts, but when she said she’d spent twice what I pay a month for my mortgage, I was expecting something amazing - I just couldn’t hide my reaction when I saw this monstrosity.

OP posts:
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SummerFate · 03/05/2026 13:13

So a case of “Sorry not sorry”.

OP posts:
Tikitaka20 · 03/05/2026 13:16

SummerFate · 03/05/2026 13:13

So a case of “Sorry not sorry”.

If your post is aimed at me, I’m sorry for being unkind. I notice, though, that you haven’t apologised to anyone - including to me - when you have been quite nasty to us. Do you not think we deserve apologies from you?

SummerFate · 03/05/2026 13:26

Do you not think we deserve apologies from you?

No. I stand by absolutely everything I said.

OP posts:
Tikitaka20 · 03/05/2026 13:32

SummerFate · 03/05/2026 13:26

Do you not think we deserve apologies from you?

No. I stand by absolutely everything I said.

You can still stand by everything you’ve said and apologise. If you won’t apologise to me, I’m taking back my apology.

Matronic6 · 03/05/2026 13:46

Tikitaka20 · 03/05/2026 13:32

You can still stand by everything you’ve said and apologise. If you won’t apologise to me, I’m taking back my apology.

Please stop, this is painfully embarrassing.

You have clearly and repeatedly expressed your opinion, yet have sought and still seem to be seeking some validation that you are right. People have different opinions, you expressed your view and OP disagrees which she is perfectly entitled to.

Why do you care so much? I really think you need to stop and ask yourself why you desperately need such validation?

Lbet · 03/05/2026 13:46

OMG! You are like a bunch of 5 year olds.

WhatHappenedToYourFurnitureCuz · 03/05/2026 13:49

Tikitaka20 · 03/05/2026 11:26

No, those things were not kind. I apologise for those. I still stand by them though. By the same token, were you kind to have started this thread and to still be at it this morning?

So you think it's fine to be unkind. Maybe you can stop harping on at the OP now?

Heisrevising · 03/05/2026 13:51

MargoChanningsglass · 03/05/2026 12:24

Sorry, too much to do today to get into it. Ill leave it there. Enjoy your day

Ok so you’re not sure of either “perspective”. Fair enough

MargoChanningsglass · 03/05/2026 13:56

Heisrevising · 03/05/2026 13:51

Ok so you’re not sure of either “perspective”. Fair enough

Just nipped in while cooking for 9.

I was being perfectly polite with you. It would mean me taking a lot of time to explain my views, which I dont have to-day.

I will say though that you should perhaps treat me with the politeness I did you, and cut out the snarkiness. Prime example there of mumsnet sniping😆

White im here thanks so much for the notifications folks, especially the hearts!

Heisrevising · 03/05/2026 13:59

MargoChanningsglass · 03/05/2026 13:56

Just nipped in while cooking for 9.

I was being perfectly polite with you. It would mean me taking a lot of time to explain my views, which I dont have to-day.

I will say though that you should perhaps treat me with the politeness I did you, and cut out the snarkiness. Prime example there of mumsnet sniping😆

White im here thanks so much for the notifications folks, especially the hearts!

Edited

Sure!

SummerFate · 03/05/2026 14:01

Tikitaka20 · 03/05/2026 13:32

You can still stand by everything you’ve said and apologise. If you won’t apologise to me, I’m taking back my apology.

Well if it was conditional it wasn’t a real apology anyway.

OP posts:
MargoChanningsglass · 03/05/2026 14:05

Heisrevising · 03/05/2026 13:59

Sure!

Cheered me up to see so many of them

Not everyone is out to cut the tripe out of each other thankfully

Heisrevising · 03/05/2026 14:07

MargoChanningsglass · 03/05/2026 14:05

Cheered me up to see so many of them

Not everyone is out to cut the tripe out of each other thankfully

Touch hyperbolic! 😂

user233675892 · 03/05/2026 14:12

SummerFate · 03/05/2026 14:01

Well if it was conditional it wasn’t a real apology anyway.

I suspect when you apologise for calling some of us 'loons' in the first instance, simply for not agreeing with you, others might be more inclined to apologise to you. I know I'm not.

It's so odd how all you want to do is snipe at people who aren't joining in with making fun of the dress. Some of us with actual friends have offered to help you with your initial question, How do I fix this? Do I just hope it blows over? But you seem to have no interest in engaging with that. Which makes me inclined to think that maybe, just maybe, a desire for reconciliation wasn't the reason you started the thread.

MargoChanningsglass · 03/05/2026 14:13

Heisrevising · 03/05/2026 14:07

Touch hyperbolic! 😂

Not at all.

Oh dear, our conversation is moot now anyway as the mods deleted your post. I wonder why that was?

Heisrevising · 03/05/2026 14:15

MargoChanningsglass · 03/05/2026 14:13

Not at all.

Oh dear, our conversation is moot now anyway as the mods deleted your post. I wonder why that was?

What’s been deleted?

MargoChanningsglass · 03/05/2026 14:17

Heisrevising · 03/05/2026 14:15

What’s been deleted?

The one on the previous page.

I didn't report it as I don't believe in reporting

Heisrevising · 03/05/2026 14:19

MargoChanningsglass · 03/05/2026 14:17

The one on the previous page.

I didn't report it as I don't believe in reporting

Wasn’t that just me posting a photo of the dress from a other thread

What do your 9 guests think of you on your phone?

Heisrevising · 03/05/2026 14:21

MargoChanningsglass · 03/05/2026 14:17

The one on the previous page.

I didn't report it as I don't believe in reporting

Even when you see racist or really abusive posts?

SummerFate · 03/05/2026 14:24

She said she was cooking for nine, not that they were there right now.

OP posts:
Heisrevising · 03/05/2026 14:25

SummerFate · 03/05/2026 14:24

She said she was cooking for nine, not that they were there right now.

That’s a relief!

Heisrevising · 03/05/2026 14:25

Take it your friend hasn’t responded to you message yet?

BeepBoopBop · 03/05/2026 14:26

Is your friend one of the York sisters?

Heisrevising · 03/05/2026 14:27

Will she only have showed you the dress? Because even though she’s not on mumsnet…. Someone in her family or who she showed might be.

Only size 4 available. No wonder since it’s been the sale for years. She must be tiny!

MargoChanningsglass · 03/05/2026 14:28

Heisrevising · 03/05/2026 14:19

Wasn’t that just me posting a photo of the dress from a other thread

What do your 9 guests think of you on your phone?

Your post today at 12.19 was deleted. Obviously for a reason by the mods.

Ergo Im not getting into a slanging match. Ive been perfectly polite with you in the face of your snarkiness and clear riling, but it ends now.