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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Friend’s awful dress and my reaction

974 replies

SummerFate · 02/05/2026 15:28

A friend is mine is quite heavily into fashion and spends a lot on clothes. Some of her choices are quite bold and not necessarily what I would pick, but she has a good figure and is quite distinctive looking, so can generally pull off something a bit more “out there”.

However, yesterday she showed me the dress she has spent a fortune on for an event - and it’s hideous. Not “not to my taste” - objectively hideous. And my face reacted before my brain could tell it to keep quiet.

She could tell immediately that I thought it was awful and she looked really upset. She said straight out, “You hate it, don’t you?”, and while I tried to say it just wasn’t my personal cup of tea, it was too late. It was obvious I hated it. I said we all have different tastes, what suits her wouldn’t suit me and that I’ve seen things look amazing on her that I could never wear, but the rest of the evening was really awkward.

I’ve messaged this morning saying I’m sorry if I upset her and that I didn’t mean to, and that she shouldn’t let what I think affect her choice. She hasn’t replied.

How do I fix this? Do I just hope it blows over? I know I should have tried to hide my thoughts, but when she said she’d spent twice what I pay a month for my mortgage, I was expecting something amazing - I just couldn’t hide my reaction when I saw this monstrosity.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
32
Tikitaka20 · 03/05/2026 10:34

Merryoldgoat · 03/05/2026 09:39

This is one of the more bonkers threads and not because of @SummerFate

If you ask for an opinion, get it, and don’t like it, that’s for you to deal with.

And OP didn’t even SAY anything.

Whether or not you like the dress, it’s bold and unusual and clearly designed to pass remark - it’s not one that anyone will give a bland ‘oh that’s nice’ to.

And I note some of the posters denigrating OPs character are the usual suspects who take a strident opposing opinion and run wild. And then call her snippy for defending herself.

’Cowardly’ was a particular highlight.

It is cowardly to laugh about your friend’s fashion choices with lots of other people on an anonymous forum.

ImaniMumsnet · 03/05/2026 10:34

Morning!

Just stepping in as we have had a few reports and have noticed some posts breaking our talk guidelines - we will be removing these shortly. We'd like to remind everyone of our talk guidelines and the fact that you can hide threads that you wish not to see.

Please bear this in mind for future posting.

Thanks everyone!

Leavesandthings · 03/05/2026 10:35

Tikitaka20 · 03/05/2026 10:34

It is cowardly to laugh about your friend’s fashion choices with lots of other people on an anonymous forum.

Edited

Why haven't you said your piece and moved on?

Why are you repeating yourself and being obsessed and nasty about it?

SummerFate · 03/05/2026 10:43

Tikitaka20 · 03/05/2026 10:34

It is cowardly to laugh about your friend’s fashion choices with lots of other people on an anonymous forum.

Edited

“Cowardly” 😆😆😆

OP posts:
ginasevern · 03/05/2026 10:43

Tikitaka20 · 02/05/2026 18:22

This post was a reply to @ginasevern’s 18:04 post. Sorry, I meant to quote you!

No worries Tiki, got it. I didn't read the subsequent comment the OP made and I agree it is rather telling.

SummerFate · 03/05/2026 10:45

ImaniMumsnet · 03/05/2026 10:34

Morning!

Just stepping in as we have had a few reports and have noticed some posts breaking our talk guidelines - we will be removing these shortly. We'd like to remind everyone of our talk guidelines and the fact that you can hide threads that you wish not to see.

Please bear this in mind for future posting.

Thanks everyone!

@ImaniMumsnet I hope you will be having stern words with @Tikitaka20 and advising her that consistent abuse of an OP is not acceptable.

OP posts:
Latenightreader · 03/05/2026 10:46

Cleocaterpillar · 03/05/2026 08:43

Missing the point but Karen Millen is still going?! I thought they vanished along with Jane Norman amd Miss Sixty.

I loved Miss Sixty! Now there's a blast from the past.

WhatHappenedToYourFurnitureCuz · 03/05/2026 10:48

Tikitaka20 · 03/05/2026 00:41

I’m very happy with my posts in this thread, thanks.

Do you think you've been nice and kind while preaching at the OP to be nice and kind?

SummerFate · 03/05/2026 10:50

jjW29 · 03/05/2026 09:26

How was it unexpected as you’ve said a lot of her clothes are “out there” and not to your taste.You must have known it might be something unusual

This was the most extreme thing I’ve seen yet. Yes, she wears some very unconventional things, but as I’ve said, she can pull off some striking looks. There are plenty of things I wouldn’t wear personally that I don’t think are awful. This is the first time she’s shown me something I’ve thought was really horrendous.

OP posts:
Leavesandthings · 03/05/2026 10:51

WhatHappenedToYourFurnitureCuz · 03/05/2026 10:48

Do you think you've been nice and kind while preaching at the OP to be nice and kind?

And do you @Tikitaka20 think you have been cognizant to the fact that you don't actually know the OP or the situation beyond a few sentences on a post on a message board?

SummerFate · 03/05/2026 10:51

ginasevern · 03/05/2026 10:43

No worries Tiki, got it. I didn't read the subsequent comment the OP made and I agree it is rather telling.

I’m confused. How can a comment you didn’t read be “telling”?

OP posts:
Tikitaka20 · 03/05/2026 10:53

Leavesandthings · 03/05/2026 10:35

Why haven't you said your piece and moved on?

Why are you repeating yourself and being obsessed and nasty about it?

Because I wanted to explain to MerryOldGost why I thought the OP was being cowardly. Why are you telling me what I should and should not say?

Tikitaka20 · 03/05/2026 10:56

Leavesandthings · 03/05/2026 10:51

And do you @Tikitaka20 think you have been cognizant to the fact that you don't actually know the OP or the situation beyond a few sentences on a post on a message board?

Your post is a little confusing, but I think you’re saying: do I realise I don’t know the OP and the situation beyond what she’s posted on here? Yes, I realise that. My posts are showing what I do know of her and the situation.

Tikitaka20 · 03/05/2026 10:56

WhatHappenedToYourFurnitureCuz · 03/05/2026 10:48

Do you think you've been nice and kind while preaching at the OP to be nice and kind?

I don’t think I’ve been unkind.

LongDarkTeatime · 03/05/2026 10:57

EmeraldShamrock000 · 02/05/2026 19:05

Yes. Learn to use a plain face. Your opinion shouldn’t be strong enough to read it from your face, especially over a dress

This has just confirmed we a fully entrenched in the era of Botox 😢
Long live the expressive face 😀😮😂

Tikitaka20 · 03/05/2026 10:58

SummerFate · 03/05/2026 10:45

@ImaniMumsnet I hope you will be having stern words with @Tikitaka20 and advising her that consistent abuse of an OP is not acceptable.

How have I abused you? I haven’t sworn at you and I haven’t attacked you. I’ve been very civil to you. If I’d abused you, MNHQ would - rightly - have deleted my posts.

Tikitaka20 · 03/05/2026 10:59

SummerFate · 03/05/2026 10:43

“Cowardly” 😆😆😆

Why is that funny?

Mathsbabe · 03/05/2026 11:00

It's a fun attention seeking dress

CunningLinguist2 · 03/05/2026 11:01

SummerFate · 02/05/2026 15:48

Well, it’s your fault if she finds the thread and never speaks to me again 😄 But here it is:

I wouldn’t have kept a neutral or straight face to that either. Good on your friend to want to & be the type to potentially carry it off, but I’d have had a telling face too. She loves it, you don’t, grown women can handle both of those truths, the end :)

SurferRona · 03/05/2026 11:02

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

WhatHappenedToYourFurnitureCuz · 03/05/2026 11:02

Tikitaka20 · 03/05/2026 10:56

I don’t think I’ve been unkind.

Gosh.

SummerFate · 03/05/2026 11:06

Tikitaka20 · 03/05/2026 10:56

I don’t think I’ve been unkind.

Was it kind to tell me I’m a shit friend and that you hope my friend ghosts me? Was it kind to call me a coward? Was it kind to go through the thread to make a (short) list of people who disagreed with me?

OP posts:
SummerFate · 03/05/2026 11:07

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

@ImaniMumsnet Another one for you.

OP posts:
Notasbigasithink · 03/05/2026 11:15

SummerFate · 02/05/2026 15:48

Well, it’s your fault if she finds the thread and never speaks to me again 😄 But here it is:

Thats fucking hideous 😂😂😂😂

Switcher · 03/05/2026 11:18

You can't help what your face does. My face would also be doing OMFG.