Friend’s awful dress and my reaction

[SummerFate]

A friend is mine is quite heavily into fashion and spends a lot on clothes. Some of her choices are quite bold and not necessarily what I would pick, but she has a good figure and is quite distinctive looking, so can generally pull off something a bit more “out there”.

However, yesterday she showed me the dress she has spent a fortune on for an event - and it’s hideous. Not “not to my taste” - objectively hideous. And my face reacted before my brain could tell it to keep quiet.

She could tell immediately that I thought it was awful and she looked really upset. She said straight out, “You hate it, don’t you?”, and while I tried to say it just wasn’t my personal cup of tea, it was too late. It was obvious I hated it. I said we all have different tastes, what suits her wouldn’t suit me and that I’ve seen things look amazing on her that I could never wear, but the rest of the evening was really awkward.

I’ve messaged this morning saying I’m sorry if I upset her and that I didn’t mean to, and that she shouldn’t let what I think affect her choice. She hasn’t replied.

How do I fix this? Do I just hope it blows over? I know I should have tried to hide my thoughts, but when she said she’d spent twice what I pay a month for my mortgage, I was expecting something amazing - I just couldn’t hide my reaction when I saw this monstrosity.

You've hardly covered yourself in glory on this thread, OP. If you are coming on here to gossip and bitch about someone, at least own it.

@SummerFate I don't understand why so many ppl are getting antsy with you. Personally, I think you've been a good, honest friend. I would rather my friends were honest to me if I showed them the same dress ( I showed a few) the dress your friend bought and they all thought the same as you. If we can't be honest to our friends there's a bit of a problem. I'm with you 💯

You want to get out more.

No.

I think that dress is beautiful - although the scenario on this thread seems to be fake.

Just leave it - she asked your opinion and you gave it! She invited a response. You haven’t done anything wrong.

My aunt Maggie had curtains like that.

I'm sorry it is hideous.

Good idea not to show it. That could ruin a friendship. She is being ridiculous though. Oh, I see you posted a pic. Have fun with your little game, I guess.

You didn’t go anything wrong. You just showed an honest reaction. Your friend is being silly if they’ve got the hump about it. She shouldn’t have asked if she didn’t want a reaction. Just leave it. You’ve messaged. She’s not replied. It’s on her now.

Fuck me. If I wore that my best girlfriend would swear her head off at me.

You are both far too precious.

I’m not usually one for judging what people wear because clothing is very personal and if there were ever clothes my friends wore that weren’t to my taste, equally, I’m sure I’d wear things that aren’t to their taste either.

That said, that dress is truly hideous and I would probably react very similarly to how you have, OP. We can’t always control our body language enough for it not to be picked up on and to be honest, it sounds as though your friend may have already been feeling insecure about her choice because she reacted so strongly to your reaction.

You won’t be the first to let her know how hideous it is, and some won’t be so kind as you. You’ve apologised. I don’t know what else you can do. I’d wait it out and see if she contacts you now.

Who would pay that? It looks like something out of pantomime or the dresses from those dolls that used to sit on top of toilet paper 🤦‍♀️

The 80's called and wants their dress back.🫣

She thinks you’re mad for using mumsnet? Bit rude of her to say this.

I would not have been able to keep a straight face at all if a friend turned up in that monstrosity. I don’t believe many could, and I simply don’t believe the people saying they would have been perfectly poker faced to spare the fashionista’s feelins. If you are going to dress like a clown, you are going to get laughed at!

LOL. Either your friend is pranking you, or you're pranking the thread. Either way, GG OP.

Personally I think it looks like a bad prom dress from the 80s…à la Josie Grossie’s dress in Never Been Kissed and I’m not surprised you were unable to maintain a poker face when it was revealed.

That said, if your friendship is important to you, I ‘d give it until later today in case she get then either call or if you’re local enough, call round with a little bunch of flowers and/or bottle of wine/fizz, whatever she’d most appreciate and reiterate your apology. Tell her that even if the dress isn’t to your fashion/taste, you recognise style is so individually subjective and all that matters is your friend loving it, feeling coming and confident in it, and for her to be able to go and rock whatever event she’s attending! Head to the rolling

www.instagram.com/p/DK120jvydgU/?igsh=MWR3dG1pajltYno2ZQ==
Sartorial choices…..

Chuffing eck.
I don’t know what is worse that or the actual dress that the op has shown.
You were close with your guess of how batshit the style was.

That dress is grotesque!!

Everything about it is disgusting!!

Say my friend showed me this dress…. One thing I would never do is start a mumsnet thread on AIBU, post a pic of the dress and then watched hundreds and hundreds of posters maul my friend and her choice of dress. And before anyone says - we are just criticising the dress, spend a minute reading the thread.

If your friend didn't want your honest opinion she shouldn't have asked you. Sounds like she has doubts too and you instead of lying and reassuring her you have been totally honest.

Instantly a flashback of my 1980’s Crystal Barbie popped into my head! ^^

Wow that is a bold choice! 1980s!

Tbh friend may think OP is quite a boring dresser so may not be that offended.

What did OP say friend spent on the dress?

I cannot believe some posters are seriously suggesting the OP now sits and practices controlling her facial expressions!

Wow. Nothing but mean girl energy on here. From the the OP has come on here and shown the dress, how she talks about her friend and her reaction to those who have called her out on her attitude as well. And from those that have sided with her too. Horrible thread.

I mean you've described the exact situation so it's not like you haven't already outed yourself if she does see this thread, so you may as well show us the dress