Fed up with ladish DP and his mate

[Hauelzk]

Couples night out yesterday - we got the train to the next city, and got the last one home. A boozy evening, really nice time.

DP and this particular friend are big in to their football and can be a bit ‘ladish’ after a few drinks. I roll me eyes usually as does his mates wife.

The station platform was really busy and a staff member was trying to move people. He did become a bit abrupt and some people accused him of being rude, I think he was just stressed.

Anyway, he kind of tripped and just about stopped himself from falling over.

Lots of people cheered, and then DP and his mate started a football chant aimed at him - “you fat bastard” which some others joined in with.

I felt sorry for the bloke. DP says he was being rude so got some deserved stick and it was ‘only lighthearted’.

Am I being a killjoy as he put it?

🤢🤢🤢
Baffles me how anyone would find behaviour like this attractive. I cant even stand drunken behaviour tbh.

Labelling it "laddish" does not make it better. Hes and unkind and mean person.

Your boyfriend and his mate are idiots.

God that's unattractive. You really need to raise your standards.

You have sex with this person? Behaviour like that makes my knees clamp shut!! It is vile, childish and unnecessary.

No better answer than this.

Yeah hes probably really derogatory about women then too and uses his job as an excuse 🙄

I worked in a very male dominated environment years ago and noone acted like a bully

I’d be incredibly turned off by this behaviour and unless he expressed proper remorse and I believed that he was sorry I’d be really unhappy

What a vile human your husband is.

That poor man trying to just do his job, he's a lad and works in a male dominated industry does not give him the right to be a prick.

I could not find a man that behaved like this remotely attractive.

It’s not lighthearted to sing and insult a person who is just doing their job. If people don’t want him to be rude they should do as he says. I’d have been disgusted if my husband did that and would have told him he showed himself to be a nasty bullying man that evening.

Fucking awful. A stranger obliged to do his job.
That's not banter it's humiliation. Bullying.

But you know that.

Your DP is a bully and I bet this is just the tip of the iceberg. Disgusting, inexcusable behaviour. How on earth did you not dump him on the spot?

So your boyfriend and his mate are total arseholes who don't for a moment consider the feelings of another human before bullying and humiliating them in public, while the man was trying to do his job and could not respond. Have you or your arsehole boyfriend given a moments thought to how that man felt when he got home from work? To what else he may be dealing with in his life? To how your actions could have been the last straw for him? I include you because you did nothing to stop him. bear in mind he will likely treat you with similar disregard at some point in the future.

I would say this makes it worse, not better. Decent men call it out. He wasn’t in work, someone else was though, and your disgusting boyfriend gave him a memory that he will definitely carry as one of the worst moments of his life.

i can tell you with absolutely certainty, that if you have children with this man, he will leave you to do all the drudgery, women’s work innit, and you will be thoroughly miserable.

But it wasn’t "banter". Banter is when it’s done by both sides, in a friendly way: "the playful, light-hearted exchange of teasing remarks or wit, commonly used among friends to strengthen bonds". If the employee had made rude remarks back, he would have been fired. It wasn’t "banter", just bullying of someone trying to do his job and keep a load of drunks safe.

I would not want to live with an unpleasant bullying person like your partner seems to be, or consider having them as a father and example to my children.

Easy tiger. No need to berate the OP here.

(And my answer to your probable response is "I knew you'd say that")

Yeah your husband isn’t a nice person.

In spades, it's the only way idiots learn.

Urgh he sounds awful, why on earth are you with him?
Raise your standards, the idea this bullying, aggressive, loutish behaviour is 'robust banter' is excuse-making for disgusting behaviour. You should feel ashamed to be with someone like that how grim.

Bet he will be voting reform, too!

FFS 🙄The OP says she's fed up with his behaviour, yet stays with him and makes excuses for the wanker.

It's not actually. I know plenty of men who hang their heads in shame at their own behaviour as young pricks with their faces intact.

It’s not ‘laddish’ or banter. It’s called being a prick.
It’s possible to work in a male dominated industry and still be a respectable human being.

The man was doing his job, trying to keep people safe when your nasty partner and his friend try to take the piss out of him. It's not banter, it's two ignorant arseholes bullying someo and you were right to be embarrassed by them.

Twats.

This would give me the ick

Why are you with such an idiot?

I hope you don’t have kids with him. Would you want a child growing up thinking this kind of behaviour is okay? Excusing behaviour as ‘laddish’ is part of the reason why we have such an epidemic of violence against women and girls. Boys don’t just have to be boys.