Hi OP I understand. I'm 53 now and whilst I was still looking pretty good at 41 (all natural, no botox), it was all about to change.
First my skin which has been perfect all my life went blotchy and spotty around 44 which I think was rosacea. A few years after that I got the red face and broken veins in my face which I thought was hot flushes but now I think was the rosacea too.
Then around 50 I started to notice dry hair, dry itchy skin and now at 53 yes I have a big tummy and large breasts which are sagging now.
My tips for the breasts are spend alot on a bra and get the right size. I buy fantasie or freya from John Lewis and they are both expensive but sometimes you can get them in the sale if you are lucky. Currently wearing a 36H. I'm normally a 34FF at the right BMI but being overweight everything has got bigger. The best exercise is lifting hand weights above your head, in front of your body, to the side, to the back. This works the muscles under the breasts and helps with uplift. I used to do alot of this and to be honest it's only quite recently that I've noticed the sagging becoming quite bad. Probably a result of giving up this exercise about 10 years ago, combined with losing weight and then of course age. Stretchmarks are no doubt worse than they used to be but I stopped counting years ago. In the last 6 months (still having a period each month) breast tenderness and fullness has become an issue (you know like you get just before your period) and so I am guessing this is perimenopause and fluctuating hormones (not on HRT). The freya/fantasie bras do a pretty good job of making them look upright in clothes so they are worth the money. Try a few to get the one you find most comfortable. It's not usual for me to spend £40 on a bra, £5 on pants, £25 on trousers, £30 on a good quality cotton top because I can't bear anything except cotton or linen now. Shoes vary currently wearing £20 argos mules but I do usually try and get comfy shoes. The point being my bra is often the most expensive thing I am wearing. It does seem a bit weird that something so small relatively is so expensive but I guess it is engineering. I know some woman do go for a reduction and uplift in their fifties but honestly I have better things to spend my money on.
My face is not doing too bad but that is probably due to the fact I am still having periods so not gone through menopause yet plus being overweight pads everything out. I do have huge hollows under my eyes now and 'malar bags' at the top of my cheeks which are quite ageing. I have been using eye drops for about 15 years due to dry eyes and the optician told me to pull my eye down to put drops in. I think in terms of ageing this has been a disaster and I realised this and stopped about a year ago. Should have realised sooner but you don't do you.
I went through a spell of buying more expensive face creams (like £90 a bottle). This lasted about 6-8 months and perhaps there was a small difference but honestly not enough to justify the price tag. So I'm back on my Olay with sunfactor and that's good enough for me.
I still home dye my hair. Used to get it done at the hairdressers up to about early forties then just though sod it life is too short for this. The home dyes are pretty good to be honest. I will let it go grey at some point but I think perhaps 60 will be the age to do that.
Yes i am now invisible to men (although one did hold the door open for me the other day although I think my breasts in their new expensive bra were doing the talking to be honest and he sort of was just motivated by them despite my age). Anyway I said thank you. Honestly though yes you will become invisible to men in so far as you will lose your sex appeal. I'm not sure what age it happens - gradually I suppose. I was still turning heads in my late thirties for sure and early forties. Probably starting to go gradually from that point. Honestly you won't care really. I always hated being ogled anyway (made me feel vunerable) so I quite like being invisible now.
I'm getting aches and pains as well and I do take a menopause multivitamin now but still not on HRT. The one thing I do spend money on is food (Oh my god the bills for food). No ready meals which lets be honest are pure junk anyway. Proteins, fish, cottage cheese, greek yogurts, goods with probiotics - all of which helps the old joints and helps retain muscle too it seems. Sometimes I think it's weird that my food bill is hundreds of pounds per month just for me and I am wearing £20 argos mules on my feet and home dying my hair but I suppose it's about priorites. You will definately be more affected by eating junk as you get older and alcohol too I'm told.
What I will say is how your mind is at 41 will change as you age as well. I remember being 35 and thinking being 50 would be terrible. It's really not. Your whole mind changes. Things that were important just seem silly and pointless now. Adverts for expensive make up, perfume with the silly prancing about young, thin models just makes me realise how much we are all brainwashed into thinking we need that stuff.
Instead I developed an interest in things which I had no interest in before - art, growing things, keeping pets, current affairs, politics, DIY. All these things would have bored me stupid in my thirties. Heck I've even got a jigsaw on the go just now.
So here I am 53, no botox or fillers or hrt. I don't even wear make up anymore. My hair is home dyed and my clothes are 'good value'. What I do have is time and peace (retired at 51). Long lies in the morning, afternoons in the conservatory, time with precious pets. I would be too tired to be young now anyway. You will also start to see the 'bigger picture' of life. You will realise that death is coming for you one day and you will stop feeling invinsible. You will start to worry about the state of the NHS and getting dementia. You will spend more time looking at your pensions and admiring trees, plants and nature things. In other words you will change alot and what you look like while still being a 'niggle' it will become way down your priority list.
I stopped dating/doing relationships at 41 (am divorced) and it has not bothered me really. Sometimes I think a partner would be nice but I enjoy living on my own with my pets. So you see I am alone and losing my looks and I'm still standing. Heck I might even be happier now than I ever have been.
I promise you once you accept that your 'young time' is over you will move onto the next stage of life and find new purpose. There are lots of advantages to being this age I promise.