How many people have you slept with?

[Fearlesssloth]

…and do you lie about it? I’m late 30s, 4 or 5 relationships, most 1-2 years, been married now for 6 years. I’ve slept with around 50 people (I know cos I made a list once!) Only 1 or 2 were ‘true’ one night stands. I know that’s a lot but I refuse to be ashamed of it, I had a lot of fun in my youth. When I was dating before my husband I never admitted it to anyone I was dating. I’d always say less than 10. So how many people have you slept with and do you freely admit it or do you reduce the number a lot if asked by people you’re dating or were dating before if you’re in a relationship? And how do you feel about the number?

All this shame on here. What if you did just have sex with people (gasp) for "fun"?

Why do women need to feel anything but joyous about having enjoyed their body?

I think around 25-30.. I’m not proud of it but we are where we are. I’ve not had sex in 6 years now so I guess it balances out 🤣

If a man ever asked I would see it as a red flag tbh.

Oh God knows. I had a rough time when I was younger, very abusive childhood. I ended up as a teenager/in my 20s looking for validation/affection in all the wrong places. It's so obvious that's what I was doing but it took years of therapy to unpack it all.

I envy DH who married the only woman he ever slept with.

9

Three were true one night stands

You can’t be a “decent man” that applies a gendered double standard. The two things are mutually exclusive.

As a big fan of "More Or Less" I thought I'd do a quick analysis of the answers.

this is not 100% accurate, had to get them all together and people have answered in all sorts of ways, but, this should be a good representation of the distribution of the answers.

I categorically did not want a boyfriend until my late 20s, I was having too much fun and I didn’t want to commit with no future. I came close to a boyfriend sometimes but couldn’t or wouldn’t commit. I was open and honest.

But I did have a high sex drive and fancied the pants of people so I had fun with that.

When I met my long term partner I fell deeply in love and our emotional connection was wonderful, we are best friends. Very healthy relationship compared to some that we know.

Well surely he would not be your husband if he thought about you in a way that was “not that nice” so would his view matter?

Although given you use redpill terminology unironically I get why most men’s views matter to you.

Most men's views don't mater to me, just the few important ones.

Just one, we’ve been together since I was 15 and he was 17. I don’t lie about it, it’s fairly obvious to anybody who knows us that neither of us have ever been with anybody else.

The last persons validation I would be looking for is a man’s or a woman that thinks like that man and I’ll tell you that for free.

Are they high commanders?

You sure you don't want paying?

Exactly. Which is why your earlier comment stating that “most men would mind” is bizarre. Who cares what “most men” think?

I think it’s 7. Maybe 8 but I don’t count one as it wasn’t exactly consensual and the rest just feel so very long ago, I struggle to remember anyway… and I’m ‘only’ 32 😂
The only person who has ever asked was an insecure, controlling ex, and I didn’t lie. I wouldn’t necessarily lie now but can’t think how I’d ever be asked! My husband doesn’t care as it was all before him, my friends were around through everything so probably have inklings one way or another and it’s no one else’s business really.

Mines not high but I wouldn't tell anyone else as it's my own personal business, nothing to do with anyone else.

Why should he know?

No one has ever asked me. I’m 54 though so maybe it’s a more modern thing. Quite a few but I’d say down to terribly low self esteem so I thought being liked/fancied/having a relationship was so unlikely to happen to me that I would sleep with anyone.

Gave up counting at around 18 but I don’t think it’s many more than that.

10 for me. DH knows the number. I don't think it's a lot.

😂😂😂

Praise be 🙏🏻

A solitary one, sometimes wish it was more just to know if it was better/ worse/ just different, but somehow don’t think it’s going to change now

I’m 47 and sorry to say only 3. I would like to have slept with more but it never quite happened.

One uni relationship, then soon after met the man I married and had two children with, then one short relationship post divorce.

So I wasted my youth on two wrong relationships and now don’t have time for another one!

If you don’t confine “slept with” to PIV, and widen the definition slightly, I could probably push that up to 5/6. The additional 2/3 being in between the first two relationships.

I actually think one is fine. If I had one because I met the love of my life and soul mate young I would be fine with that.

Around 100. I loved casual sex in my youth, in between relationships. I am very loyal however when committed to someone.