How many people have you slept with?

[Fearlesssloth]

…and do you lie about it? I’m late 30s, 4 or 5 relationships, most 1-2 years, been married now for 6 years. I’ve slept with around 50 people (I know cos I made a list once!) Only 1 or 2 were ‘true’ one night stands. I know that’s a lot but I refuse to be ashamed of it, I had a lot of fun in my youth. When I was dating before my husband I never admitted it to anyone I was dating. I’d always say less than 10. So how many people have you slept with and do you freely admit it or do you reduce the number a lot if asked by people you’re dating or were dating before if you’re in a relationship? And how do you feel about the number?

Does he need to?

What bearing does that have on how many people someone as slept with? And what are the other points?

Not got a clue, could be 50, could be 100, could be 200. Grew up in a very stilted emotionless family and was looking for affection in late teens/ early twenties. Never learned how to say no and had low self-esteem.

Does my husband know? Yes, does he care? He cares about me, he cares that I felt unloved and unlovable but the actual number nah. He's the person who has shown me what it is to be loved by someone.

Haven't a clue! Was a very wild child in my late teens/early twenties. Got married, after divorce in mid thirties went a bit mad. I suppose I was trying to see if I was still desirable!

Just the 1, my husband. Been married 41 years.
I don't think a person is bad for sleeping with a 100 people. It's all personal.

Truthfully.... too many to count.... as an estimate I'd guess somewhere between 150 and 200. Luckily nobody has ever asked me! I guess if they did I probably wouldn't share specific numbers but I would imply it's quite a lot - extensive childhood trauma, ASD and ADHD can lead to some very unwise decisions!

Me neither. I doubt I have felt enough of a connection to really fancy more than 15 men. I need connection mentally. If I don’t have that I wouldn’t be interested physically. My number is therefore only around 8.

My friend slept with a a lot of men when divorced but she regrets it now. She thinks she was just lashing out and trying to show her ex and look for validation.

Everyone is different.

Somewhere between 14 and 17 I think. Some were short relationships, some one night stands. More if you include stuff which didn't end up in full penetrative sex. I don't feel like that's a lot at nearly 50.

About 15? Can't quite remember.

@coulditbeme2323 DH doesn't know, when we first got together, we had a conversation about it but he said he didn't care, not his business, why would it make a difference? And I don't really understand your comment about naivete tbh.

So I don't know his number, and he doesn't know mine. Not a single person I've had a relationship with has asked. The only people who asked were my female friends, back when we were teens - Sex and the City influences, basically.

😳No, he doesn't sound like relationship material 😂

5 altogether.
2 x 2 year ish relationships
2 x 1 night stands (not with strangers!)
1 x marriage ( been together 36 years.

I don't judge anyone who's slept with more! I wish I'd sown my wild oats a bit more than I did! But apart from regretting who I lost my virginity to, I don't have any real regrets.

My partner just cares that I'm good at giving him a blowjob and orgasm pretty easily. That didn't happen with the first guy I slept with.

I am genuinely baffled at some of the pearl clutching that this makes a jot of difference if you're married. I mean, seriously?

are you always that judgy and supportive of the patriarchy?

2 men and like 18 women. I have only been in long term relationships with men though and I married the second one. If me and DH got divorced or he died I would probably sleep with women but I don’t know if I would have a long term relationship with a woman. Honestly I’ve not really thought about it and I don’t really know why I feel that way.

I would not have a ONS with a man because the risks are higher, also I wouldn’t let a man I don’t know into my house and wouldn’t want to go to theirs. Maybe a hotel?

No I don’t lie about it, but when people ask me I don’t tell them about women because it’s not relevant at all. My husband knows and I think he does have a reason to know (I’m not gonna say right to know I don’t think anyone has a right to know that). He didn’t have a really strong reaction but sometimes he will ask me “do you think she’s attractive?” And he thinks it’s really funny that one woman I slept with looks a lot like me apparently.

To be fair I've probably had fewer vibrators than men. I mean, once you find one that works for you, you tend to be loyal. 🤣

Never discussed it. Wouldn't want to know his tbh. We got married young so mine is super low

3

Not sure of my exact number, but I'd say it's between 20-25, and I'm 41.

I've never lied about it and when I was younger I'd happily tell partners who asked. Now I'm a bit older, I don't think any partners need to know this information. If I was in a new relationship and they asked me my number, I don't think I'd tell them. I'm not ashamed or anything like that, but I don't think it serves a purpose to know these things. Some things are nice to keep private and it keeps a bit of mystery.

70+ by aged 26, I did a lot of travelling and social jobs 😂

Been with my partner since then and I’m 41. He knows.

Also DH has slept with a decent amount of women and at first it did make me a bit stressed but now older and more secure I don’t care. Also they all kind of look similar to me which makes me feel better??? I don’t know why?? That’s kind of silly when I think about it.

Do the maths. Let's say a 50 year old started having sex at 18 and has had 100 partners. That's roughly 3 partners a year for 32 years. Not exactly excessive, is it? I bet a married vagina has had a lot more mileage, just with the same penis.

The day I apologise for or lie about my sexual life before my partner is the day I lose my will to live.

My partner has never asked me and wouldn’t care if I gave him the answer. We both have pasts. Its not relevant for either of us. We know broad brush facts about our respective relationship history because it’s part of what has formed us. I was married before and have a child, he went through some difficult stuff when younger (which his relationship at the time impacted). But neither of us would keep a tally of the number of people each of us had sex with.

Honestly I would swerve a bloke who felt he needed to know this.

50ish. No one has asked. Hoping current DP is the last as the sex is off the scale amazing.

@Batties You sound so confident yet you don’t know that condoms don’t protect you against herpes or hpv 😂😂

😁