How many people have you slept with?

[Fearlesssloth]

…and do you lie about it? I’m late 30s, 4 or 5 relationships, most 1-2 years, been married now for 6 years. I’ve slept with around 50 people (I know cos I made a list once!) Only 1 or 2 were ‘true’ one night stands. I know that’s a lot but I refuse to be ashamed of it, I had a lot of fun in my youth. When I was dating before my husband I never admitted it to anyone I was dating. I’d always say less than 10. So how many people have you slept with and do you freely admit it or do you reduce the number a lot if asked by people you’re dating or were dating before if you’re in a relationship? And how do you feel about the number?

1 my husband. I did sleep with him before getting married. I wanted to be in love first and did feel that way with anyone before him.

I only know one person who has slept with 1000+. It’s a family member (male). Over the decades, he has cheated multiple times on every single partner. Every time we met up, he’d bring a different person. So I would have serious reservations about entering a relationship with him (well, someone who wasn’t a family member obviously) because I just don’t compute that he can be faithful to anyone ever unless dick falls off.

Only my late husband for me. I'm 66.

I think many men definitely care about how many men a woman has slept with, and it's precisely the reason they don't ask. They don't want to know. If they knew that a woman has slept with 100 men, they'd feel jealous and insecure, but as long as they don't know they can pretend to be fine with it.

Early 20s, I can’t remember the exact number (but could if I sat down and worked them all out). Neither DP nor I have asked each other, it’s just not really an issue.

I’d usually agree with that.

But there was that one night where I received multiple times of very enthusiastic and skilled oral (it was a ONS), which was considerably more orgasmic and definitely more impactful than many other sexual experiences.

So I’m inclined to count that one🤣

And I once had intercourse - or whatever one would prefer to call it - with a woman. So there’s that… Excluding non-penetrative sex is probably a rather heteronormative when I consider that experience.

But I am a (mostly) heterosexual woman in a heteronormative society. So why wouldn’t I be heteronormative?😅

Eight. I'm 39. A couple of one nighters, but I knew them beforehand and have spoken to them since so maybe not ONS by some people's definitions.

Weird!

How many of these ppl are bible bashers.

About 15. I was widowed a few years ago and before that I would have said that was my number for life, but I'm dating again and enjoying myself so it is rising!

5 (actual PIV). Married since mid 20s.

I think I wish they'd been a few more but I also think I'd be ashamed of myself if I'd slept with more than about 15/20.

Why on earth at are men you’re dating still asking you how many men you’ve slept with!!?!?!?? This is so immature! If a man did this to me I’d be so turned off and ask him why he wants to know and why he is obsessing about other men’s penises.

i think I’ve slept with around 30, but I wouldn’t tell anyone not because it’s bad just because the kind of people who ask shouldn’t be encouraged to do so!

I haven’t been asked in thirty years, and it’s not relevant.

But I do think that it is OK to find out whether you are on the same
page regarding casual sex with a new partner. I’m not at either extreme, but if someone said “No sex before marriage”, or “Yes of course I have sex with people on a first date if it’s going well” then maybe I’d like to know that.

That's good! Mine unfortunately hadn't made that journey yet, he was really insecure about it. The first time I touched it he said miserably "I'm sorry it's not very big" and I was like holy shit you're not kidding (I didn't say that out loud though).
It was literally like my pinky from the first knuckle up, size-wise.

A lot.
Over 30.
Had so many good times.
Not remotely relevant to anyone else and their opinion,

I am really sorry this happened to you. Me too at the same age and I lost count at some point. No one has ever asked me though an if they did I would see it as a red flag (if it was in a dating scenario) and would not answer.

15 . I've never hidden it from anyone and wouldn't if it was much higher. Any man who cares about your "body count" is not worth having anyway, so it's a useful barometer. I'm married now so it will stay at 15.

40 - 50 I think. All fine... had lots of fun. Been with partner 25+ years. never cheated on anyone. Did have multiple FWB going at once!
Also, never had an STD!

I have slept with lots more than you but not ashamed (I got to age 26 only sleeping with one and I really regret that, I should have left that relationship much sooner!) every person you date (and often sleep with ) and then move on from is a life lesson that teaches you more about what you like and don’t like and need in a relationship : moving on when it’s not working rather than staying due to fear over ‘number’ increasing is much less shameful (in my opinion). We also don’t known what’s round the corner - if your husband left you tomorrow you might need to date (and probably sleep with ) another ten or twenty men before you find someone else you like enough to marry.

6 but I’ve been with my partner of 14 years since I was 20, so 5 before I was 20. Not sure if that’s bad or not 😂

Are you so old that you’ve never heard of condoms?

10

Or maybe they’d be disgusted or just generally put off? The people I know personally who live a lifestyle of sleeping around all have traumas from childhood , which in every case with those people is caused from sexual abuse. It’s not the normal actions of someone in a good place mentally to be chasing dick constantly.

I don’t know either and i definitely don’t want to sit and recall them all 😂 I’d say 20ish. My partner of 11 years has asked before and I’ve said I don’t know because I genuinely don’t but ‘not many.’ I imagine he thinks it’s less than 10.

I’m 46 and have had full sex with four people including my husband who is number four. There have been a couple of others I’ve fooled around with but it didn’t go beyond kissing/touching.

Do you know many men?