To wonder if intense attraction can be one-sided?

[Sparklesbigtoe]

There’s a guy I see now and again through work (although we don’t work together or for the same company). I don’t know him well but I’m insanely attracted to him, my legs go like jelly and I actually get shaky when I’m anywhere near him. I do manage to keep my cool around him thank god and we’ve had a few nice but brief chats. He’s managed to drop into the conversation he’s single (in a very natural way). I’m single too and I feel this intensely powerful energy between us whenever we’re in close proximity to each other. In your experience, can this energy be one-sided and he be completely oblivious or is it usually a mutual energy coming from the connection between both people? Or am I imagining it?

I get what you mean re: chemistry - it’s different to just fancying someone. I don’t know the answer but I think it’s very interesting.

I also get it re: not asking him out, I would never ask a man out - I’m not self assured enough. 50 years and 8 grandkids later I’d still be wondering if he’s really that into me lol

Of course it can. History is littered with examples.

If you like him, you're going to have to make it known and see if he feels the same way.

Of course it can be- stalking and harassment wouldn’t be a crime if it was always mutual 🤣

Yes it can definitely definitely definitely be one sided. It can also be an indication of what you are attracted to, and might not be that person in particular.

I'm assuming you've never been hit on by a manky looking loser you wouldn't touch wearing full hazmat who's convinced you're the love of his life? If you have, your question is answered. If you haven't, then take it from me, the answer is yes.

Yes but being hit on doesn’t always equal chemistry or even the person fancying you. It just means they think you’re hot/look like their type and are thinking ‘why not give it a shot’. Thinking someone’s attractive and actually physically being attracted to them are not the same thing

You are just going to have to flirt a bit harder then to make it obvious - make eye contact and hold his gaze for longer etc - do the bright eyed delighted/excited to see him with a big smile - no words needed - just encouragement. How do you act around him?

No. But there are plenty of cases where people find you physically attractive AND are attracted to you, because they like your personality and you are maybe nice and friendly to them or have a lot in common. They might then develop strong feelings for you, and mistake them as being reciprocal.
'Chemistry' can easily be misread when what you're seeing is friendliness, warmth, even flirting for ego purposes.
I'm not saying this is what's happening to you, I'm just saying that it happens and absolutely you can have strong feelings that are not returned. In fact it's incredibly common.
That's why so many people get devastated when they're rejected or left, they feel something the other person obviously doesn't.

I don’t know BUT in the past I’ve had a few amazing connections with the opposite sex, the way you describe, and we’ve gone on to date for a while and have a good time so I would say most of the time it’s obvious

Yeah I see what you’re saying. I’m trying to think back to having this feeling before with people. I’ve definitely fancied people before and it either wasn’t reciprocated or I never knew whether it was but I wouldn’t necessarily say there was ‘chemistry’, I just knew I fancied them. But the few times in the past I’ve felt actual chemistry like this it’s turned into a relationship or it’s been reciprocated