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AIBU?

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MIL 23 years in uk doesn’t speak a word of English!!!!!!!

108 replies

Aidensmum123 · 29/04/2026 18:03

Am I right to find this crazy and infuriating!

when I say doesn’t speak a word of English, i don’t mean her English I bad.

I almost literally mean won’t speak a word of English!!

other than ok, maybe, good, bye, hi.

oh and she can’t do basic stuff like use email, use banking, etc

its absolutely insane.

now, I usually won’t care as not my business, but she has been forcing me, her daughter and my husband to constantly translate for her and do admin work for her. Before us, it was her ex.

this takes sometimes HOURS!!!!!

FOR YEARS.

appointments, online shopping, tax returns, banking, etc etc etc etc

when we are out it’s constantly what did he say, what did she say

calls and text everyday, make appointment for me, I need to buy this online, I need to send this email etc etc

It got to point recently she began shoving phone in our face, do this.

we showed how to use google translate and translate page she still insists she can’t work computer and do any of this.

She is treating us like her personal secretary.

(her sibling same age who lived in uk 10 years speaks English and she was housewife for 12 years to well off man she could of learned then)

I had enough and stopped but my husband and his sister can’t because she is their mum.

like “oh she’ll get in trouble if she doesn’t pay this on time! Or this appointment is very important for her health! It’ll just be quick”

my husband signed her up for English classes she would skip them. He said he will only help if she tries learning English 10 minutes a day. She got very angry and began yelling at him fine!!! Fine!

Her sister who lives with her confirmed she isn’t. She watches tv and YouTube all day on couch in her free time.

we realise this is our fault to enabling this so we decided to set boundaries.

we confronted her about this and said either you will learn English or you will pay us or hire someone for your services. We have been enabling you and please understand this cannot continue. This takes up a lot of our time. We feel used.

She then tells if we do this, she will cut contact with the grandkids and my sister in law disabled son!!! And they will never see her again.

she hasn’t spoken to them in months how and the kids are upset asking why and they want to see her.

the grandkids love her so much.

am I right to be very disgusted by all this.

sorry I’m just so annoyed and ranting

OP posts:
JHound · Yesterday 18:27

Aidensmum123 · 29/04/2026 19:32

Oh forgot to add

whats extra bizarre is she has an English passport!

so she somehow passed life in uk test???

she says the lady had to tell her son she passed because she didn’t understand what the lady was saying

Edited

That’s absolutely shocking imo.

When I did my Aussie citizenship test while it was easy for me I could not have passed with zero English. People who cannot speak the language to a decent level should not get leave to remain never mind citizenship (well naturalised citizens anyway.)

ilovesooty · Yesterday 18:30

Aidensmum123 · 29/04/2026 18:13

She was a primary school teacher!

uni degree

she also gives kids here in uk private language lessons

Edited

Really? Are your kids bilingual too?

Aidensmum123 · Yesterday 18:33

JHound · Yesterday 18:27

That’s absolutely shocking imo.

When I did my Aussie citizenship test while it was easy for me I could not have passed with zero English. People who cannot speak the language to a decent level should not get leave to remain never mind citizenship (well naturalised citizens anyway.)

I don’t get it either. I have friends who speak much better English than her who passed on their second/third try.

She claims the power of prayer/angels/Jesus/God helped her pass.

It was all Jesus, not her

OP posts:
AstonUniversityPotholeDepartment · Yesterday 18:36

If she's highly educated and competent in her first language, is it possible that she is scared and embarrassed about making mistakes if she attempts to speak or write in English?

JHound · Yesterday 18:37

Aidensmum123 · Yesterday 18:33

I don’t get it either. I have friends who speak much better English than her who passed on their second/third try.

She claims the power of prayer/angels/Jesus/God helped her pass.

It was all Jesus, not her

Edited

I think either she is lying about her level or our test is pathetic.

DeathNote11 · Yesterday 18:39

You need to explain to her firmly what a precarious position she's going to be in if any of the right wing parties come into power next GE.

Aidensmum123 · Yesterday 18:48

DeathNote11 · Yesterday 18:39

You need to explain to her firmly what a precarious position she's going to be in if any of the right wing parties come into power next GE.

She has a British passport (somehow managed to pass life in uk test) so she thinks she will be fine

OP posts:
AstonUniversityPotholeDepartment · Yesterday 18:56

What is her plan if she ever needs to be admitted for a long stay in hospital? She's getting older and she can't rule out ill-health developing. Hospital stays are unpleasant at the best of times, never mind if you can't communicate with the people taking care of you. With the best will in the world, her family won't be able to be there to translate 24 hours a day until discharge.

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