I walked faster so I wouldn’t have to talk to them

[Excitedformondayforonce]

Am I weird?

Was having a lovely relaxing dog walk in the woods after dinner with Dh & Dc. Had been gardening all day and in pjs, so just pulled a pair of leggings and top on, hair not really brushed properly and in a ponytail.
Where we go by our house, we never really see anyone, except neighbours we know well. We were halfway around and I was in front by quite a bit with Ddog on the lead, when I heard Dc chatting away and another family behind us. Dc ran up and fold me it was someone from her school. They then ran back to chat with them with Dh. Ddog was pulling on the lead and does need to walk at a quicker pace, but as I got down the hill, they wouldn’t have been able to see me, I thought do I go back/wait and walk with them on the walk and be sociable (never met them before) and ignore the fact I look a mess or just get home, so I walked home quicker as I just didn’t want to be sociable.
Dh asked where I went and I said I was desperate for the loo
Is this weird?

I once said hello to a friend of my daughters in a shop, it was lovely to see her, as I hadn’t seen her for a long time, it was after sixth form, and they were at different Uni’s.

She found me in another shop and came and screamed at me, for talking to her, when she had social anxiety.

All very embarrassing, and annoying, as we had even taken her on holiday with us, out for days as an older teenager, and was a weekly taxi driver for her when they went out.( not reciprocated, but they were a nice group of girls)

Worse still she was with her mother, and while she screamed at me, her mother glared at me. !!

🙄

Bit of a sad world you live in if you think it’s rude to stop for a friendly chat.

Too forward. I think you should write them a formal letter!

OP I can pretty much guarantee those people wouldn’t have noticed what you were wearing, but would have noticed your bad manners.

Wow! No wonder there is an epidemic of loneliness 😢

Not weird to walk off, but definitely weird to feel the need to lie to your dh.

What? It is the polar opposite of rude! Do you have a social anxiety disorder?

Having a quick social conversation with someone when your respective children are talking is neither rude nor ambushing nor accosting. On the other hand, walking away without saying anything in that situation is definitely rude.

OP, why do you care so much what people think about how you look, when you don't seem to care what they think about your manners?

Too many words, this is nothing but digital accosting. Instead should be “am near, say hello?”

I’ve get terrible social anxiety sometimes and do things like this, then beat myself up afterwards

Don’t worry. I do this kind of thing all the time. I’m menopausal and sometimes I just want to hide. If I see other people do something similar I get it, I just assume they’re busy, got something on their mind etc etc. am not offended in the least. Everyone is just trying to get through the day the best they can.

This. Next thing you know they will be knocking on your door in the middle of the day and expecting you to open it.

And that is only one step away from inviting you round to theirs for a barbecue.

True. Maybe a 👋 is all that's required? Maybe with a 👈 if one feels talkative 🤣🤣

not weird at all!, totally get it and would have probably done the same.

There are days when I just can’t do small talk, especially when I don’t know someone very well. Under these circumstances I probably would have done the same as you op. Some people would find it weird I suppose, but I gave up worrying about what other people think of me a long time ago.

Peak MN.

What a place!

I love it when I look at an old old thread as this sort of shizz is simply not present. It's like putting on a warm blanket.

It's like a modern version of the picture of Dorian Grey. There must be portraits in peoples attics that present as perfection as they have dumped all their bile on MN : )

Oddly enough, if you live in a busy place, letting people go about their business without always stopping them for a chat, IS a kindness.

Yes a formal letter would be best. That enables them to reply via letter and explain that they are "not at home" (or "not at street", more accurately) for the foreseeable future.

If neither of you know where the other one lives, this is, of course, quite tricky and may prevent the "talking in the street" happening at all.

I find your vanity a bit weird. It’s normal to look scruffy for family dog walks, no-one else cares. Feeling unsocial, not wanting to change the pace and intention of your walk into a ‘loiter and chat’ I find less weird.

Ok because you were already ahead. If they’d approached and you’d sped off, that would have been weird.

Maybe nice for your DH to be able to lead on ‘family social interaction’ too. Men so often defer to / rely on their wives for this. Would he have found it odd if you’d been leading the conversation while he walked ahead / did something else / tagged along like a spare part? That might an interesting conversation.

It's perfectly fine not to talk to strangers.

You knew your child was being cared for by your DH.

It was fine.

Most people I see exercising never halt their routine to chat.
A mere smile or small greeting is polite.

On a walk with a good friend or DH, it is actually rude for one of us to dally and court conversation with strangers for long periods. It is a slap in the face to our walking companion.

Rude?!

Good point. OP would rather be thought rude than scruffy. Odd.

You weren’t weird, you were rude. But this is MN, so you’ll get lots of people telling you it’s perfectly normal to just march off 🙄

@BuffetTheDietSlayer I think you need to look up the words “accosting” and “ambushing” because expressing a friendly interest in you isn’t covered.

I have a lot of social anxiety and hate talking to people I don’t know well unexpectedly, but I know this is my problem and not theirs for wanting to be friendly.

What? So people shouldn’t … be human? Chat and social connection is so vital for our mental health. Attitudes like this are so sad to me. I’m not a mad chatty extrovert by any means but I certainly would never ever see it as “ rude” if someone I knew wanted to stop and say hello, how are you?
How bizarre to think it’s wrong to speak to other humans!

You can pat yourself on the back OP, you managed to avoid letting the family see how you were dressed (as if that matters on a dog walk). Instead, they're very likely thinking what an odd, ill mannered woman you are.

You couldn't have been that far ahead since your dc ran up to you to tell you who they were and then went back to the group. A quick, friendly hello and then an explanation that you had to keep going with the dog would have been fine.