To be worried about my 22 year old dating a 30 year old

[Beyoungbefoolishi]

22 dd is dating a 30 year old in (late July) man currently

So he's 29, not 30.

That seems pretty normal ! Unless there is something else that is worrying you, I don’t think the age gap is an issue at all. I have the same age gap with my DH, thirty years later we are still happy.

No. She is an adult. A 7 year age gap isnt shocking. She could be with a 20 yo who you may be happy with- because hes 20- and hes an immature bell end soooo

I wouldn't be concerned with that age gap it depends on them, ie if similar life stage, if he is kind to her, if she is happy.
Invite him for lunch get to know him.. a garden pub lunch would be lovely these sunny days.

I would also be concerned too OP.

A queue of people will be along shortly to tell you they met their husband when they were 16 and he was 30 and they are still “madly in love”, but I am always suspicious of the motives of anyone who seeks out a much younger partner. It suggests they don’t want an equal.

Having said that, if you signal your disapproval she will double down so I would accept it but gently push her to be wary.

That’s a fairly normal age gap

Nonsense.

She is 22 and he is 29 🙄They are hardly Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas.

Yeah, but this isn't 16 & 32.

My DH was that age exactly when I met him. I was the same age as your DD. 30 years later, here we are. Excellent DH.

Age isn't the issue, his character & motive are...

How on earth are you comparing a 16yo child to a woman who’s been an actual adult for a few years now??

I was that age when I met dh. Married 20 years no issues. Seemed like a normal enough age gap.

She is a fully grown adult woman, dating a man 7 years older. Not something to be alarmed about

Nope, I would not be concerned at all and I have two DD's in the same age bracket.

In some ways I would rather them date someone who is a bit older and hopefully has matured a little than some of the dickheads around that are the same age.

Just ask yourself this, is she happy? Does he treat her well?

If the answer to those is yes then that should be the end of your concerns.

Sorry OP, you're overreacting. Thats not an age gap.

I’m standing by it. A man who wants a much younger partner isn’t looking for an equal.

Does it mean he’s a dangerous predator? Of course not. But it means he doesn’t want someone who will challenge him or have too much independence in the relationship.

I’d be concerned if he were 50 - creepy; or 40 -less creepy but impractical and leading to issues later in life (when she is 40 stuck with a 60yo)
But as it is - he 29. Men this age these days are not that far off your daughter’s age.
Maybe a little more mature, but it’s a good thing, and probably why she likes him.

This seems fairly normal to me, the only thing is she might be at a slightly different life stage, but if she's settled down working, left uni, and he's 29, I think their life stages are probably fairly similar. Nothing to worry about due to age here, I think, be more concerned if he's a stable nice man and she likes him.

Again what utter nonsense 😂You live in cloud cuckoo land.

What the hell has age got to do with whether someone views someone as their equal or not. 🙄

22 and 29 are perfectly normal ages to be in a relationship together. What are you worried about?
I've said it before and no doubt I'll say it again, you don't have to only date people who were born in the same year as you. As long as everyone is a consenting adult what does it matter?

What utter tosh

Seven additional years of being an adult is seven more years of life experience. It makes for an imbalance in the relationship.

She may be an adult but she’s a very young adult. He’s been around a lot longer. It doesn’t mean he’s abusive or cynical. But a person who wants a genuine partnership of equals doesn’t seek out a mate who is far less experienced than they are. Why would they?

And by the way because you don’t agree doesn’t mean I am living in “cloud cuckoo land”. Its perfectly possible to robustly disagree without being an arse.

I was 22 when I met my husband, he was 28. I’d been living independently for 4 years by that point. Unless you have concerns about your daughter being vulnerable or something similar I think you are unduly concerned.

It falls within the half your age plus 7 rule so it is ok.

There was an age gap of almost 14 years between my parents. My Dad was born in October 1947 and Mum was born in September 1961.

They met in the summer of 1985, when Mum was coming up to 24 and Dad was 37.

I don't think large age gaps by themselves are anything to worry about when both parties are consenting adults. And I don't see 7/8 years as that large of an age gap.

What are you are concerned about specifically?

YABU.
DH is 7 years older than me. I met him when I was 20. We will be celebrating our 45th wedding anniversary this year.