To tell DH to stop sulking after my jokey comment?

[Hayfever25]

I feel like DH has become a right grumpy so and so recently.

We are attending a friends’ wedding, it’s an abroad one in July. A couple we are close (she’s my best friend) with are also attending, and we met up with them on Sunday.

They had hoped to book the same hotel as us but found the rates had increased since we booked, so are staying elsewhere.

On Sunday, my friends H jokingly asked if we are sad they aren’t joining us. I replied along the lines of - ‘of course, I really wanted to see your bulge in your speedos by the pool’ and they both laughed. We have a very jokey relationship so it was a fairly ordinary comment.

DH had a sulk on driving home and when I asked why, he said the comment I made was inappropriate.

Is it me or does he need to lighten up a bit?

Well I’d be a bit annoyed if DH commented, even jokingly, that he really wanted to see his friend’s wife in a bikini.

Yeah he's being a sulky arse..

I think that was a rather strange comment to make, especially with your husband standing right next to you.

I'd be pretty upset if my husband told one of my friends he wanted to see her fanny in a swimsuit. So I don't think he needs to lighten up necessarily, but sulking about it instead of explaining how it made him feel isn't great.

I guess it depends on your relationship with him and your friends, but I wouldn't be overly impressed if my dh said he can't wait to see my friends boobs in a bikini by the pool

Well, yeah, that’s definitely you.

If he had said "Of course. I really wanted to see your big tits", how would you have felt?

Is this a joke?

YABU. If this was reversed, and your DH had told your female friend he was looking forward to seeing her in her bikini, everyone on here would (rightly) leap to criticise him for being inappropriate and disgusting.

I’m not sure that’s quite the same. But I’d have laughed if he made a similar quip about seeing my friend in her bikini.

Ewww what a cringe comment to make.

There is having a jokey relationship then there is making a cringe comment like that. He is probably mortified you'd say something like that!

Perhaps you've given him the ick rather than him being grumpy???

Gosh. I am good friends with my best friend’s husband but I wouldn’t say that to him! I think YABU.

Bit of a gross comment tbh. I don't blame him for being unhappy with this.

But if he’d said, looking forward to seeing your perky nipples in your bikini?

Yes, I think that’s a bit gross to be honest.

Nope. Definitely you, OP.

How would you have felt if your husband had said he was looking forward to seeing your best friend's great tits in a bikini?

I wouldn't say it, I wouldn't appreciate similar being said about me or to my partner. It's one of those thoughts you keep in your head.

I think that’s off, how would you feel if he joked he wanted to see your mates fanny outline.

Bloody weird thing to say, op.

I'm 47 if relevant, married and NEVER made such sort of a comment to a man. Just wouldn't think of it.

What a crass thing to say, I don’t blame him for being irritated by it. Maybe you’ve given him the ick?

Yeah, I have a close to the line, sweary sense of humour. That's grim though.

Agree your DH probably thinks it's embarrassing rather than that he is jealous.

Gross. 🤮
Why would you say that to your best friend’s husband unless you want to swing or swap?

I agree with your DH that your sexualised ´joke’ was inappropriate.

It belongs to another era.

As usual, first post nails it.

Not the same?
You where talking about seeing your friends penis bulge. How would he saying about looking forward to seeing a friends boobs/arse in a swim suit be any different?

I’d not be happy if my DH said the equivalent to another woman.

I think you should apologise, it wasn’t badly meant but shouldn’t have been said and has upset him. A quick but sincere apology, and listening to him, should sort it out.