HolyCheeses and Mary… the spreadsheet, the bullshit bingo and the aftermath. Part deux

[HolyCheeses]

Was asked to start a thread.

started a thread.

I expect the fact that you chose to meet in a neutral coffee shop alerted him to something being an issue. Shame he didn't seem sad / disappointed that he was losing the love of his life to whom he was going to propose.

You are well rid.

If he could pay the mortgage off completely in two years, why did he need you subbing half of it?

There’s other stuff that would be very identifying so for obviously reasons I won’t share all.
Thanks for asking I’m feeling remarkably ok with it. I’ve had a lovely evening and having supper made for me, this is the kind of stuff I’ve not been able to do and it’s a welcomed distraction. Home tomorrow and maybe I might feel a bit wobbly. I’ll take it all in my stride.

Quite! Doesn’t that tell you everything.

Well done @HolyCheeses onwards and upwards! I’m so happy for you.

are you able to give any details about the Facebook post, or would that be outing?

One of those
‘you do xyz for someone only to have it thrown in your face’

Are you ok hun? Posts.

I wonder how many years he'd have continued to charge you for mortgage contributions, once he'd cleared the mortgage in 2 years

That’s what has concerned me the most!

I also wonder if he'd inflated the sky bill, the food bill etc, so he could chuck more of your money at the mortgage in order to allow him to get it paid off in the 2 years. Probably has a 15 year mortgage on it.

Classic, very predictable. You are well rid! Go enjoy your peace and quiet in your lovely home x

Super happy for you @HolyCheeses, you really dodged a massive bullet here.

Sad though because

• I never saw the spreadsheet
• Never got a breakdown of the elaborate food budget
• Most importantly I did not win the bingo!

But seriously, well done. You are an inspiration to others to take control of their situation.

so he coudav this and coudav that but when was the correct time to give you proper info, he just came with lies and half truths. Even to the end this man was not sure what he really wanted to do, but one thing for sure, he wante full control over your life, money and time

If anyone’s tempted to feel even a little bit sorry for him, I’m willing to bet that before too long he’ll have found some much younger, naive and impressionable woman to move in and pay his bills and be his housekeeper and nurse.
But OP will have driven off into the sunset without a backwards glance!
Well done OP, you are a masterclass in standing up for yourself.

‘I was going to ask you to marry me’… I just KNEW that one would come up - BINGO! 🤣🤣🤣
Well done OP. You’re bound to feel a bit wobbly now & then but you know that will pass. Plus I LOVE that you paid half for the coffee ☕️ 😜

Good luck 💐

Well done OP - what an annoying man. You’ve done the right thing - definitely come back and check the early messages as a sense check if you doubt yourself when he tries to love bomb you back into the fold.

I really don't think you knew him at all.
I think he was an opportunistic man who absolutely saw you as a really good ticket to use, the very definition of a nurse with a purse.

I think he has stomped off furious but may well be back for one more crack at you.

He needs a carer for his parents and that will be a huge factor in his thinking.

Well done for getting away.

I got the 'my parents love you' one, ha.
Well done, I hope it feels like a weight has been lifted. Onwards and upwards

Brilliant news @HolyCheeses Nice one.

Well done OP, what a nasty peace of work he is. You’re well rid of him.

Wow.

So despite him saying he was going to ask you to marry him...he didn't beg you to reconsider or that he'll change, he just insulted you instead?

The Facebook post is very telling it’s a certain type of person that goes straight to posting that type of thing on social media. Well done for staying strong & I wish you a happy future without that type of man!

It's amazing how predictable his responses were.

When I first found MN I was floored by how complete strangers could be so certain about situations based on a paragraph or two from an online stranger.

Over time I've come to understand why people (including me now) can be so bold in their opinions and advice. There really aren't that many different types of people. Obviously everyone is an individual but there are broad patterns of behaviour that show up time and time again.

OR

Plot twist:

Cheeky Fucker has been following the thread and played reverse Cheeky Fucker Bingo on us 😂

So very true. Last bit made me laugh 😆 thanks I needed that!

It is ultimately sad and painful that this guy has been so predictable. The assumptions he has made about OP to essentially rob her and destroy her life…he’s a scammer and a fraudster who is now loudly claiming the moral high ground on SM. It is truly revolting that he views this as how you treat someone you are supposed to love.
OP I am glad you can laugh but it is v shocking. You would have lost thousands and years of your life. So glad you heard those alarm bells ringing in your gut!

I called the 'I don't like how YOU decorated my house' (my only contribution to BS bingo). Be aware that he may still, as I suggested, ask for money to REdecorate with claims you've devalued it or made it unsaleable. With a little manipulation sprinkled in like 'it's only fair after you changed our agreement and left me with decor I'd never have chosen if I'd known'.