AIBU to let my nine year old shave her legs?

[Ljcrow]

I posted on the parenting thread asking for recommendations for a safe and easy to use electric shaver for my 9 year old to use on her legs and the initial responses were: none. So I thought I'd see whether people think I'm being reasonable by letting her shave or unreasonable due to her age.

For context: she's self conscious to the point she won't now wear shorts outside of the house even when the weather's warm or for PE at school. As much as I think it's far too young (I was 12/13) it's her body and her choice. It's a sad reflection of our patriarchal society but I'm not forcing my 9 year old to lead the revolution.

I'd rather her use a safe electric razor with my help and support than her trying to tackle it herself and potentially doing herself some damage or remaining self conscious and uncomfortable in warm weather.

Interested in others' opinions!

'I'd rather her use a safe electric razor with my help and support than her trying to tackle it herself and potentially doing herself some damage or remaining self conscious and uncomfortable in warm weather'

I agree with you. I started shaving my legs at 11. It wasn't something I felt I could talk to my mother about, so I secretly shaved my legs without a clue what I was doing, and cut myself to ribbons by dry shaving 🤦🏻‍♂️

9 does sound so young, but if she's self conscious then I think it's fair to have the discussion with her. An electric razor seems like a safe and practical option

I got my daughter an electric shaver around the same age. Having dark hair and pale skin isn't great and it's embarrassing when you stand out.

She told me that one of her friends asked why she had hairy legs and she had started feeling self conscious so I talked to her about hair removal. She tried the cream as well but preferred the shaver.

It’s unreasonable that a 9 year is self conscious about this. Ideally, we’d be at a point where she felt comfortable not shaving her legs.

I think you’re better to let her and show her how to do it properly. I was still at primary school when I started shaving my legs because my hair is so dark. My mum thought I was too young but I just took her razor. Cut my legs, gave myself horrific razor burn, so my mum was forced to show me how to do it properly.

I’d probably be having those (very sad) conversations with her that she doesn’t need to and accept she probably won’t feel comfortable with for decades, if ever.

I’m in the same position with my 10 year old. Olive skinned and very hairy legs. I had the same.

Is an electric shaver easier/safer than regular shaving? I will obviously help her to start with but I didn’t really consider an electric shaver.

“It's a sad reflection of our patriarchal society but I'm not forcing my 9 year old to lead the revolution”

I agree. She isn’t doing it because she came up with it herself as a great idea, she is doing it because she feels self conscious and social pressure if she doesn’t and that is uncomfortable for an adult let alone a nine year old. It’s a normal thing to do at a slightly older age so it is less harmful just to get her appropriate equipment and show her what to do than to leave her feeling sad and self conscious.

I’m not forcing my 9 year old to lead the revolution

Yeah I’d agree with this, especially if you shave your legs (not clear from your post but I’d imagine it’s pretty statistically likely that you do). Obviously I don’t think children should be allowed to do everything adults do, but I wouldn’t stop my child shaving her legs, or tell her that leg hair doesn’t matter, while shaving my own.

Like a PP, my mother didn’t let me. But it didn’t stop me shredding my legs doing it in secret.

Yeah I do (started around 12 after comments from boys on the school bus). Not so much in winter but definitely if they're going to be on show. I'm aware it's because society tells me I 'should', but I'm not brave enough to rebel against it.

Would hair removal creams not be better? Or are they not recommended on young skin?

I feel like there's less chance of cuts...? Could be wrong though.

I think the companies generally don’t recommend them for children this young.

I'd let her shave her legs too, although it makes me mad.

I assume you've also reported the issue to the school? They should be talking to the boys about their sexist remarks.

A girl in my year at school needed stitches after the razor slipped and she cut her leg so I’d definitely go the electric razor way.

I started shaving mine at ten. I fail to see what a 'patriarchal society' has to do with it, I didn't like the look of my hair legs and enjoyed being smooth, still do at 76. It's far less patriarchal now.

If your child wants to, how can you stop her? I imagine she is past the age of having you bathe her.

I shave my legs with shaving gel and a Venus razor, only about every 2 weeks. My daughter had seen me do this several times and asked if she could do the same. She was about 9 at the time. I stood with her for the first time and told her to take her time. No issues at all. Bit of body cream after.

When I mentioned boys commenting I was referring to my own experiences in the 90s, so a bit too late to do anything about now!

Yep. My mum didn't let me either and I have myself a horrendous scar when I tried it myself .. about 3inches long and it bled sooooooo much. Definitely support her op, or she may do it secretly and hurt herself. Electric sounds like a good idea.

Because women are taught both implicitly and explicitly that body hair is intrinsically unfeminine.

I still wash her hair in the bath. Don't know if that's weird!

YANBU! I shave my legs and would help my DD to (if I had one - I'm the only female in my house!)

I remember being really embarrassed by my hairy legs and frustrated that my Mum wouldn't let me shave. My older sister asked why I didn't just do it anyway...so I did! I felt like a film star walking into school the next day with lovely smooth legs 🤣

No. I would not be encouraging this at such a young age.

I’m a bit on the fence about it because where does this self consciousness come from? Is this other kids at school or is there someone at home wanging on about grooming. I never discussed this at home and my own DD probably became aware of it at around 12 and a half when I got her some safety razors. ( she goes to a girls school ). What follows is pressure for acrylic nails and belly button piercings and random serums from Space NK so I’m slightly inclined on the side of No - too young.

I was told no by mum aged 10 so i tried it anyway didnt have a clue what I was doing and did it dry with no foam! Had terrible razor burns both legs. Wish mum had been supportive like you.

I help my 11 year old DD shave her legs and under her arms.
We’ve been doing this for nearly a year and she has just started trying herself.

she did hit puberty early.

I was about 14 when I needed to do this and my Mum handed me a pack of Bic Razors and I cut myself so many times.

in a way I’m glad that my DD hit puberty early so she felt safe to share this with me

I take it you didn’t have thick dark body hair at a young age? If she feels self conscious it’s a very small thing, what’s the age limit? Died she need to go 3-4 more years not wearing shorts?

I was really reluctant at first to let my 11 year old remove hair from her legs until I realised that she was so self conscious that it was hurting her confidence in herself. We spent one Saturday afternoon together with me teaching her how to use veet (I felt no blade was safer). The difference in her was huge and I felt so sad that I hadn’t listened to her earlier. After a year or so on veet, we progressed to shaving using the Gillette razors with the big attached soap bit and now she looks after herself. The world is cruel and although I’m all for feminism, if she’s not comfortable in herself, give her an easy win.

I have an electric shaver I bought myself for Christmas (sad I know!) haha. Anyway yes it is SO much easier not to cut yourself. I have found it works better with shaving gel/cream. I can't believe I was without it for so long.
Totally not unreasonable, much better that your daughter is comfortable and confident.