I’m starting to get really irritated by this.
I pop in to see my grandad most days to help out as he is chronically unwell. He does have carers but they can't do everything that is needed understandably. . I don’t mind helping at all, but he’ll ask me to do things that his sons could easily do, but apparently they’re “too busy”. As if I’m not? I’ve got two jobs and DC.
It’s the same with my elderly uncle who’s had a stroke. I help him out regularly, but again he has a son (single, no DC) and the attitude is just that it’s easier for me to do it because he’s “busy”. He is very proud of his son having a BIG job always making excuses for him.
Even DM does it. She’s constantly asking me to do things and if I suggest my brother could help, it’s straight to “he’s busy”. He’s single, no kids, fewer commitments than me but somehow his time is treated as more valuable.
I don’t actually mind helping. That’s not the issue. It’s the assumption that I’m automatically the one who will do it and that my time is more flexible or less important than the men’s.
I am not saying ALL older people are like this. I have some older relatives who never do this.