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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I can’t afford the lesson

187 replies

Thoseflatbreadslookyummy · Today 11:52

Do I cancel or pay double next week

Bit embarrassing, Dd has a music lesson this week, the teacher asks for cash after each lesson. I’m self employed and waiting on a late payment through no fault of my own. It’s a bit of a risk for the weekend if I pay the lesson and my money doesn’t come in by then.
Would you cancel the lesson citing illness etc (we missed just one before due to genuine illness) or go and apologise and say I didn’t have time to get money out etc and pay double next week, that feels embarrassing and disrespectful though 😔

OP posts:
TallulahBetty · Today 11:54

Either way, she is out of pocket! Might be too late to fill the slot with someone else even if you cancel. Borrow the money.

WilderHawthorn · Today 11:54

Why not explain to the teacher and offer to pay for it the following week but also offer to cancel?

youalright · Today 11:54

Talk to her and explain the situation

Villanellesproudmum · Today 11:55

Just explain you might find them understanding depending on their situation.

LadyMacbethWasFierce · Today 11:56

You would be unreasonable to go to the lesson and not pay. But you might incur a cancellation fee anyway owing to late cancellation. So cancel but be prepared to pay double next week in any event.

I hope you get paid soon.

Thoseflatbreadslookyummy · Today 11:56

I feel a bit too embarrassed to explain the situation tbh

OP posts:
Bered · Today 11:59

When is it this week? What is her policy on cancellations?

Remember she too is self employed

XelaM · Today 11:59

Thoseflatbreadslookyummy · Today 11:56

I feel a bit too embarrassed to explain the situation tbh

This is me exactly with my daughter's tutors but honestly, the time that I did explain it they were super nice and understanding and agreed for double payment next time. Text her to explain. She will understand

sunsettosunrise · Today 12:00

If you are a long standing client that has always paid on time she may be sympathetic to your plight.

hahabahbag · Today 12:01

Pay, you are worrying about not having money at the weekend, the teacher is too! If you have lessons it’s really bad to do what you are suggesting, it’s a business not a hobby - as a self employed person you should be more aware than most.

AppleKatie · Today 12:02

If you pay and don’t have money at the weekend what happens?
My answer would differ if it’s no leisure activities or starve.

Pinkflamingo10 · Today 12:04

When my children are ill etc I still have to pay for the lessons they don’t attend.
i would borrow money from a savings account or family or a credit card

Thoseflatbreadslookyummy · Today 12:10

AppleKatie · Today 12:02

If you pay and don’t have money at the weekend what happens?
My answer would differ if it’s no leisure activities or starve.

It’s for food

OP posts:
SalmonOnFinnCrisp · Today 12:11

I'd explain and say you can pay double next week is that okay? She'll say yes or no.

unsolicited (and unpopular?) opinion: if you are this close to the breadline that a dance class which is £20, £30? is causing strife it might be worth reconsidering them. While extracurricular are popular they are largely unnecessary and a nice to have..

Epli · Today 12:12

How long has your DD been going? If you are a long term client who always paid on time I would be frank and offer to bring or send money as soon as you get them, even before the next lesson.

SpryLilacSnake · Today 12:13

Be honest.

But even better, pay otherwise you basically put the tutor in the same position this weekend that you are in.

Borrow the money, cancel weekend plans, chase up the client etc. I'd suggest threatening legal action or late fees to the client if they are late paying. But before that try giving them a call to chase the payment up and explain you need it today.

But definitely don't lie, that's the worst option.

Credittocress · Today 12:14

Does it mean you’ll have to cancel plans at the weekend or you won’t be able to buy food?

AppleKatie · Today 12:14

If you need the money for food at the weekend then you can’t pay. So the choice is - feign illness and pay double next week. - explain and offer a payment plan and see what she says (I bet she’d be amenable to that).

I do think you need to be really honest with yourself though; is this temporary cash flow or can you not afford the lessons? No shame in stopping something you can’t afford.

plims · Today 12:15

If you explained the situation, she is far more likely to be understanding and let you pay next week.

Telling her you didn’t have time to get money would be insulting.

tnorfotkcab · Today 12:15

bit weird that you've run out of money, and are apparently living pay cheque to pay cheque... and have a kid in private music lessons :/

Decacaffeinatednow · Today 12:16

If you can’t afford food because you haven’t been paid then it seems that your daughter’s music class is not sustainable.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · Today 12:16

When I was self employed I always had credit cards/ overdraft I could use for these situations- where you don’t get paid for a while for work you’ve done. Although the job I was in was notorious for not being paid for months if not years and there was a whole industry (slight exaggeration) around covering those debts.

Do you not have similar?

If not, I would explain to her. You can’t go around being embarrassed about these things as it’s very limiting!

I don’t have that much sympathy for people who say “but I don’t want debt” and expect another self employed person to just suck up the short fall etc. Same for those who will happily borrow from family or friends but not the actual bank.

BillieWiper · Today 12:16

Well if you cancel due to illness giving less than 48 hrs notice she'll not be able to replace the slot. So you should pay her for that anyway.

Or, you ring up before the lesson and say please can I pay double next time? Though you're putting her in a position as if she says no she'll still be out of pocket if she then just doesn't conduct the lesson.

AnneLovesGilbert · Today 12:17

Why wouldn’t you pay if you cancel due to illness?

TheDehumidifierNeedsEmptying · Today 12:17

Be honest. Perhaps ask if going forward the lesson time could be halved to make it cheaper. Is there anyone else who teaches locally for cheaper so your DD doesn’t miss out? If you’re having to choose between food and music lessons, it’s likely unaffordable to continue. Do you have absolutely no savings?

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