I can’t afford the lesson

[Thoseflatbreadslookyummy]

Do I cancel or pay double next week

Bit embarrassing, Dd has a music lesson this week, the teacher asks for cash after each lesson. I’m self employed and waiting on a late payment through no fault of my own. It’s a bit of a risk for the weekend if I pay the lesson and my money doesn’t come in by then.
Would you cancel the lesson citing illness etc (we missed just one before due to genuine illness) or go and apologise and say I didn’t have time to get money out etc and pay double next week, that feels embarrassing and disrespectful though 😔

Don't be embarrassed Op it's genuinely just one of things and ultimately because of somebody late paying you.

But definitely call the teacher and explain. My mother used to send me to my lessons and explain myself and awkwardly stand there while the teacher and his wife debated what to do. However mortifying it may be for you it will be ten times worse your DD.

Thanks for being so considerate of your music teacher - I'm an instrument teacher and I promise you we appreciate clients like you!

Also just to reiterate what another poster said, we really do understand financial difficulties and would rather help out where possible than see a child miss out on their lesson.

Agree, you need to be honest.

You can't put your daughter in the position of going next week and the teacher asking her if she feels better. Your daughter will feel bad or grass you up and either way the teacher will see straight through her and distrust you.

To be honest, if money is THAT tight, and you don’t have any savings to fall back on, then you cant afford music lessons full stop. You need to build some financial cushion before splashing out on luxuries.

I meant that I was ill, i’d never have my Dd lie

Sounds like you’re not cutting your cloth appropriately. If things are that tight that a missed payment means you can’t pay for a lesson/food for the weekend, you probably can’t realistically afford regular music lessons.

I think it's worth explaining, after all the music teacher is most likely also self employed, and understands cash flow problems. At least she will appreciate you honesty.

OP, if you are waiting for a significant pay cheque, why wouldn't you just explain to the tutor that you have a cash flow issue this week and would it be ok to pay double next lesson. Why are you choosing to pay for the lesson but not receive the lesson? It really is fuss and stress over nothing.

I have had multiples of tutors over the years and employ 3 currently. From time to time I don't have cash on me and simply explain so.

Unless you have form for being flaky with cancellations and payment, I don't get the angst around this.

Whether you can afford it overall, is a separate issue to your current predicament which is a non event if you let the tutor know upfront.

I'm a tutor and I'd far rather you were honest with me. It'd never be a problem for me if someone genuinely couldn't pay on the day.

I suppose I feel embarrassed that she’d know that I can’t even afford that amount 😔

I am the wife of a music teacher and both my kids had private lessons for years. I also fundraise to provide lessons for disadvantaged children.

It is standard practice that for teachers who ask for cash on the day that if a child is ill and misses a lesson that the parent pays for the missed lesson the following week. So assuming that you do not normally pay by bank transfer then what you are proposing is fine.

Oh really? Ahh great! Your husband wouldn’t have minded this?

If you pretend you simply forgot to withdraw the cash she may ask you to do an instant bank transfer and then you'll have to admit you don't have the money.

Just text and tell her the truth. Ask if she'd prefer you to pay double next time or to cancel altogether.

I don't think is a good way for the teacher to run lessons.
If you only pay at the end of class then they could be out of pocket constantly if parents 'forget' to get cash out.
We pay at the start of each term for my DD's music lessons..if DD is ill then we lose out as they are unable to do a catch up, but if the teacher is ill the lesson gets carried over to the next term.

You’re a self employed person whos been messed around by someone on a bill, needing to talk to another self employed person who’ll have dealt with similar.

Park tye embarrassment, they’ll have been in your shoes. Offer them the option and see what route they want to go. Sticking to normal timetable and delayed payment may well be their first choice.

Are music lessons a good choice of money at this point if things are this precarious. Not having a go in the slightest and I know you just want the best for your child but surely the best is food above music lessons. Maybe some free/very cheap activities instead e.g. bike riding, nature walk, beach etc

I sympathise OP, but most teachers would charge you for the cancelled lesson anyway - like you, they plan around the payments that clients have committed to make, and they can't do anything else with a single lesson.

So unfortunately YABU either way.

This OP it doesn't sound like you can afford these lessons if there are times when you are one missed income payment away from literally no money for food. Surely you can just pay for the lesson and put the supermarket food shop on your credit card this weekend if you know you have a decent chunk of money coming next week.
I wouldn't give it a second thought if I was confident of the income, if your secure financially you should have sensible streams of credit you can draw upon for times like these to smooth your expenditure against when your income lands?

Not at all. And whenever my son was ill I just paid his piano teacher the following week.

This OP it doesn't sound like you can afford these lessons if there are times when you are one missed income payment away from literally no money for food.

I know this is hard to hear when it's your child and you desperately want the best for them, but I agree with this. Is there a free community choir or school club she could join instead?

I take payments from clients for my work. If you told me what you have said here I would say no problem pay next week.

While I do sympathise, if you are genuinely choosing between a music lesson and food and have zero reserves I think maybe you can't really afford the lessons.

@Thoseflatbreadslookyummy I’m self employed. I keep a large enough reserve fund so if someone couldn’t pay such as in this instance, it wouldn’t affect me at all so she may be the same. If you’re embarrassed, tell her that you had trouble with your card at the cash machine and is she happy for you to pay double next week or would she prefer for you to cancel the lesson?

As you are proposing to pay for this week's lesson anyway (although late) I think you should swallow your embarrassment and be honest with the teacher. Say you understand if they don't want to deliver the lesson but you have a cash flow problem and will pay double next week (or bank transfer this week's payment sooner if possible). They might appreciate your honesty and give the lesson.

@Thoseflatbreadslookyummy

Just explain!
You're paying for the lesson anyway.
If you explain, then DD actually gets a lesson and your money isn't wasted.
Unless you regularly mess her around (which it sounds like you don't), the chances are she'll be fine with it.