I can’t afford the lesson

[Thoseflatbreadslookyummy]

Do I cancel or pay double next week

Bit embarrassing, Dd has a music lesson this week, the teacher asks for cash after each lesson. I’m self employed and waiting on a late payment through no fault of my own. It’s a bit of a risk for the weekend if I pay the lesson and my money doesn’t come in by then.
Would you cancel the lesson citing illness etc (we missed just one before due to genuine illness) or go and apologise and say I didn’t have time to get money out etc and pay double next week, that feels embarrassing and disrespectful though 😔

Ah sorry I misread that. I feel it would be better to be a reliable customer and stick to the schedule (if teacher permits it under these circumstances) than offering double pay for one lesson and still coming across as flaky. I also think PP who said OP should look for reliable work on the side until her business has a buffer sound quite sensible.

Do you not have an overdraft?

This

You are being paid late through no fault of your own but you can’t just pass on that shit to the next level of service provider.

You do need to be careful if you genuinely cannot access food, I understand that. But that doesn’t give you the right to not pay up what is due.

I think you have to be honest with the tutor. If you feel embarrassed, that’s ok, but you still have to do it.

OP says it’s for a music lesson, so why are you assuming dance class ? For those advocating stopping the lessons, why would you punish your child by doing this if it’s just a one off ?

If you cancel for any reason, even if the illness was real, you ought to pay anyway. Either tell her the truth or say you've forgotten the money, and say you’ll pay double next week.

This. It sounds horrible as it makes it sound like only certain people (read rich folks) should be able to afford good things, but perhaps - if things are quite so down to the fine line, and quite so trickily balanced to this extreme extent, then some things have to be prioritised over others, at least till times ease a bit.

I have taught music lessons for over forty times and your situation is not as uncommon as you may think. I have never had any problems with being paid double the following week and I'm sure your child's music teacher will be equally sympathetic. She has probably been in a similar position herself in the past. It's unusual to be paid entirely in cash these days. Most people pay by bank transfer. Would this teacher be prepared to give you her bank details so that you can pay her sooner if your own payment comes through sooner?

Agree. In fact I insist in paying everyone by bank transfer these days because my ex gets paid cash in hand and it has enabled him to wriggle out of paying anything towards his children

Thank you that’s reassuring 🙏

A few harsh responses here, but thank you to the positive feedback
This hasn’t happened before and am awaiting a very healthy payment that should have been here, but I should not have been stupid enough to rely on it! I don’t have credit cards etc, paid them off years ago.
It’s all feeling too stressful but is not the end of the world. Have decided to cancel the lesson to give her chance to be with someone else and to pay double next week, so she is not out of pocket

What's her cancellation policy? Surely you still have to pay for a lesson cancelled at short notice?

If you don’t pay then you are pushing your problem onto her instead.

Morally I’d rather borrow off friends or use an overdraft/credit card than do that.

There is no policy, but as I said above I will pay for the missed lesson

Will you not be charged for short notice anyway? I sympathise with your circumstances OP but I don't agree that an acceptable outcome is that you pass the financial loss on to another self employed party instead of dealing with your own affairs, it's not acceptable either to decline to speak to them about it and try and resolve it to spare your own embarrassment or to attend a lesson knowing you can't make the agreed payment.

I'd take a breath, plan what I wanted to say and call/message to discuss if later payment were possible on this occasion and see what their response is

Posters who've pointed out that it sounds like the music lessons aren't financially viable have very good points, if it is this close to the wire you need to take a firm look at things.

This is really bad form. You are basically pushing your financial problems on to someone else.

there is nothing wrong with having an emergency credit card even if you don't intend to use it every month.

This.
If you have the money you need to pay her.
Its not fait to put her in exactly the same situation you find yourself in.
Its not her fault

Im saying I will pay for the missed lesson? The teacher gets time off from it but still paid?

If I was your teacher I think as long as you aren't making a habit of it I'd rather you're just honest and would probably just agree to double payment the following week. Otherwise I'm cutting my nose off to spite my face as I am unlikely to fill that gap. I'd be more annoyed if you lied and I ended up out of pocket. How old is your child? Are they even going to be able to lie convincingly and do you really want to teach them that habit?

Paid late.

Which is exactly the problem you have.

I absolutely sympathise OP, I face similar types of situations on a regular basis (single parent, 3 teens, good job but always trying to just about manage and give teens as much support / opportunities as I can). So I'm not saying what follows out of any sense of superiority.

Your wider situation is unsustainable - your business model isn't working if a delayed payment means a stark choice between eating and a music lesson. Regardless, you need to start to tackle this.

You also need a back-up like an overdraft or credit card - you don't have to use either regularly but you should have them for these or similar eventualities.

I don't agree with posters suggesting you should stop the lessons entirely - extra-curricular activities are important, not of course more so than food but should be maintained if you can, and you need to plan better.

In terms of this specific situation, I definitely wouldn't feel able to tell the teacher (I can see why people say you should). I would use any money at all that I have, even savings or money for another payment, resolve when you are paid, and then commit to better forward planning in future. For example, when you sign your DC up to an activity, you know how much it will cost and should budget ahead for that, so that you don't run into the pinch points.

As I said, I say this as advice I have to give and try to take myself - what happens to me far too often is that while I have budgeted for known expenses with a little wriggle room, I often have no way of managing an unexpected situation e.g. like a car repair or school payment I didn't forsee. This isn't a good way to be and I have to keep trying to work on it.

I think you should do all in your power to keep the lesson and pay whatever way you can.

This. It seems you just can't afford the music lessons if be giving a half term or terms notice or whatever notice is required.

But she’s not going to be paid til next week - hopefully she isn’t relying on it or she is in the same position as you, which seems unfair.

If you are having financial issues enough that you don’t have a back up plan, are the lessons necessary? If you have another missed payment from a client in the future, will you be in the same position?

Well if she can’t afford it, she should

Unless you are paying today, as she expected, she is still out of money today that could have been her food budget just the same as yours. So you’re just putting her in the same boat.