I can’t afford the lesson

[Thoseflatbreadslookyummy]

Do I cancel or pay double next week

Bit embarrassing, Dd has a music lesson this week, the teacher asks for cash after each lesson. I’m self employed and waiting on a late payment through no fault of my own. It’s a bit of a risk for the weekend if I pay the lesson and my money doesn’t come in by then.
Would you cancel the lesson citing illness etc (we missed just one before due to genuine illness) or go and apologise and say I didn’t have time to get money out etc and pay double next week, that feels embarrassing and disrespectful though 😔

Surely it's rather foolish to get dd private music tuition when your funds are so terribly tight?

If you are at the point you can't afford food at the weekend, I would be considering if you can afford the lessons full stop

if you have never done this before, just say you are having cash flow issues and you will pay next week if that’s ok. It staggers me you’d prefer to lie about being ill and not pay her, than be honest. But I do think you need to consider if you can actually afford music lessons if you can’t scrape together the money for a single lesson because someone hasn’t paid you. Full disclosure my DD is a music teacher and a lot of people seem to think musicians can live on fresh air because it’s not a “proper job”.

I would just be honest and ask her what she'd prefer.

Presumably she’s in a similar position though - if she doesn’t get your payment it will have a knock on effect for her.

Saying you haven’t had time to get the money out does sound disrespectful.

And if your missed payment means you can’t afford to have the lesson and eat then you need to look at whether the lessons are feasible going forward.

the teacher is also self employed and relies on timely payments. She’s probably more likely to understand than most.

Tell her. Better that she understands than that she thinks you're taking the piss.

Don’t ask to have the lesson and pay double next week - you’re then causing the teacher the same issue you currently have.

If the lesson is towards the end of the week (Thursday / Friday), explain you’re low on cash flow and ask if you could have two lessons next week instead, eg Monday and Friday?

Either do this or cancel ASAP, as some teachers will charge the full fee if cancelled with less than 24h notice. Although it doesn’t sound as if you have a contract.

Message her and say ‘I’m terribly sorry but I have a situation which means I won’t be able to pay for DDs lesson on the day as I usually do. Would you prefer for me to cancel it or would you be willing to wait for me to pay you double the week after? I appreciate this isn’t ideal. Many thanks.’

The decent thing is to be honest and give the music teacher the choice. That is both honest and respectful. The teacher cannot blame you for your own customer not paying you on time.

Whatever you do, don't let your daughter have the lesson and then at the end tell the teacher you cannot pay. That is both dishonest and disrespectful to the teacher and sets a terrible example to your daughter.

Id explain as PP said. If you really dont feel you can, how about pay for the lesson and food shop on a credit card?

Why not put the food shop on a credit card. Not ideal. If money is so tight can you afford music lessons.

I agree. Extracurriculars are great but they’re not a necessity.

Explain your circumstances, be honest and hope for the best. She might just understand and cut you some slack.🤞

If you're self-employed you absolutely have to have money saved up for a rainy day or an emergency. I can't believe you genuinely have no food in the house or a relation you can't borrow from. If you cancel with a fake excuse this time, are you 100 percent sure it will be the last time? Because the music teacher might not stand for it if it becomes a regular thing. If it was a dentist and you cancelled late you'd have to pay unless you had a cast iron good reason. So why should the music teacher have to wait because you've planned your finances badly?

Absolutely. You shouldn't be weighing up food and music lessons. You should really cancel altogether and make sure you can keep your child fed.

I don't understand why you are not going to your overdue client and telling them to pay up or you can't afford to feed your family this weekend? They are exploiting you.

Sounds like you can’t ford the lessons🤷‍♂️

I would be honest. But also switch to paying termly. Might be an outlay the first term but the you can save up during that term for the next term. All my children’s extracurriculars are charged termly/for the season by their teachers/coaches.

Voted YABU because if you cancel this late notice you should pay anyway.

Sorry, I agree with others. You should message her, be honest and tell her you will struggle to pay this week and ask what she would prefer (but be prepared that she will expect paying even if you cancel). Then really think about whether you can afford these classes, and if not cancel the whole thing. It's really not fair to mess someone around like this, you're basically doing the exact same thing to them as someone's done to you! How do you know the person who is late paying YOU isn't 'through no fault of their own' - because someone hasn't paid them and so on!

But it's not fair that your embarrassment inconveniences someone else. You need to swallow your pride (or nerves) and discuss it. You said it might be disrespectful to ask to pay next week....its disrespectful to not give them a chance, and to lie and feign illness for your child instead.

You need to explain to the teacher. But you obviously can't afford these lessons if you are that tight at the moment. What about money for other unexpected emergencies? I'd work in your budget and get some savings.

She is presumably more likely to have similar issues to the OP through not being paid though

What is the cancellation policy? If you cancel now will you still be charged? I don’t think it’s fair to go to the lesson and then tell her you can’t pay, so you will need to cancel either way.
To be honest I would put these lessons on hold for now because obviously you can’t spend your food money on music lessons!

Again though what if the client can’t pay OP because they haven’t been paid for something? And what if the teacher told the OP she couldn’t afford to feed her family so she had to pay up?