I can’t afford the lesson

[Thoseflatbreadslookyummy]

Do I cancel or pay double next week

Bit embarrassing, Dd has a music lesson this week, the teacher asks for cash after each lesson. I’m self employed and waiting on a late payment through no fault of my own. It’s a bit of a risk for the weekend if I pay the lesson and my money doesn’t come in by then.
Would you cancel the lesson citing illness etc (we missed just one before due to genuine illness) or go and apologise and say I didn’t have time to get money out etc and pay double next week, that feels embarrassing and disrespectful though 😔

As with most posters, just talk to her (message her asap if you have her number) just tell her what you've told us and offer either to cancel or to pay double next week, whichever she'd rather.

If the teacher is also struggling with cash flow and thinks she can fill the slot with another pupil then great, she'll be pleased you have her the opportunity. She night genuinely not mind, if she's been teaching your daughter a while and you've been a good with payment in the past.

Don't you have a credit card? When you say tight will you have no money for food or not enough for the whole week? If you are really that close to the breadline I'm not sure music lessons are a priority.

Just be prepared for her to be in the same position though.

What's their cancellation policy? As you might have to pay either way now if it's outside of their cancellation time. If I don't cancel ours within 24hr for one teacher, 48hr for another, we pay anyway. So you'd prob best check that out before you end up cancelling and paying.

Just ask for bank details after the lesson.

Don’t text though imo, call voice to voice. Much more able to get over embarrassment and apologetic tone. Texts can be misread as cf !

How can someone who is self-employed and so impacted by late payments not have contingency measures in place like an overdraft or credit card?

If you can't afford music lessons it's not fair to put the instructor in a position where she isn't being paid on time or where you cancel last minute.

Presumably they are also self employed so might empathise? I'd explain honestly and ask them what was best from their point of view.

As many others have said, just be honest and let her make the decision.

Also, unless you can trust DD to lie for you, what's she going to say when the teacher says, 'hope you're feeling better now'.

OP, gently, if you are this close to the breadline where you don’t have £20 or £30 at hand when you need it and you would have to undergo hardship or lack of food to afford it, the music lessons are the least of your priorities. In the future there will be more frequent and urgent things you are going to need that £30 more for than a music lesson.

If learning an instrument is important to you, do what hundreds of thousands of teenagers do around the world and get a cheap guitar and get your daughter to teach herself in her bedroom from YouTube or instructional videos. It’s such a commonly self-taught instrument. Alternatively put the lessons on hold until your financial situation improves. You should not be spending on extra curricular if you have a margin as tight as this.

I would do this. But seriously I dont think you can sustain these lessons if your cash flow is this tight

This.

Exactly this - you risk putting the teacher in the same position you are in. If things are so tight that one late payment can be that serious, better to knock unnecessary costs like this on the head

Absolutely agree with others. She is self employed too and people don’t pay or pay late - would she prefer you cancel as you can’t pay, or you pay double next week

You have somehow got yourself in a situation where your cupboards, fridge and freezer are completely empty. You don't have £20 to pay for a music lesson. You need to have a real hard think about whether being self employed is actually working for you and if the business is successful enough to make a living

Honestly- tough shit. I don’t think someone else being out of pocket….. and then potentially struggling themselves is worth less than your embarrassment.

You need to get over yourself and have an honest conversation and let them decide whether to cancel or pay double. Anything else is dishonest. You don’t need to go into the ins and outs of your financial situation, but just not turning up is really wrong.

Get over your embarrassment and explain. You don't need to go I to any massive detail, only that you're self-employed and your payment is late. Ask what the options are.

Is her dad around? Would he be able to support with the music lessons or at least help short term?

I actually think it puts her in an awkward situation as well: it is hard to insist on payment if someone has said they can't.

I would cancel and reference illness. Children get ill. It keeps things from getting embarrassing.

It sounds like a one-off so I don't know why people are trying to give you life lessons.

If she's self-employed I'm sure she'll understand only too well.

Because if it was a one off she would have food in her cupboards/freezer and even a small amount of savings to be able to access £20 if she needed it, this is obviously a bigger issue.

There's no indication that she's ever been in the position of having to choose between food or a music lesson and being unable to afford either before. It's quite literally unsolicited advice.

I'm a tutor.

I would prefer you to be honest with me and give me some notice.
She may prefer you to just skip a week and put someone else in that slot. My evening slots are always full. I've got someone away this week in one slot and because I knew I was able to fit in a student who wanted an extra lesson for the exams
I've had a long standing client who said things like is it OK if I pay you Friday when I get paid. It was never a problem

But you would have a buffer unless you really are struggling. We always have enough food in to last atleast month if needed it might be some odd combinations but we wouldn't starve and I can't even imagine not even having £20. My kids don't go to lessons or clubs because its a lot of money we haven't got but they always have food and if the heating broke we have money to fix it. If you are living this hand to mouth you need to seriously rethink what you are doing.