To feel humiliated by my fiancé's stag do video?

[Aquadream]

I am not sure what I’m hoping for from posting this..probably some reassurance that I’m not being over the top in feeling so humiliated.

DP returned from his abroad stag do yesterday (we get married later in the summer). A big group went and I know a few of the other partners really well.

One of my friends who is married to one of my DP’s best mates messaged me whilst they were still away to say it sounded mental and she’d had a few photos/videos through from her other half, sent with a drunken message in the early hours of the morning.

She sent me one of the videos which was basically my DP on a sort of podium with a barely dressed woman/dancer wearing a really skimpy sort of bondage outfit. It’s about 2 minutes long and she pulls his shorts down and starts using a whip on him. She then gets him to lie down and she lowers herself above his face.

This is all egged on to cheers and shouting from the group.

I’ve confronted him about it - he says he was pushed into it and had no choice. He also said it was not a strip club and was a normal bar which happened to have the woman on the podium. I have googled the place and it is not a strip club. But the whole resort seems so sleazy. He said they’d been drinking in the sun all day and he barely remembers it, but that was happening to’all the others stags too’.

I find it so so embarrassing all the other partners have probably seen this video too, as it was in the group chat and people would have sent stuff on like happened with my friend.

Thanks to anyone still reading. Am I wrong to have reacted like this?

He did a bit more than just watch a stripper.

You do you but my bar is higher for my men.

You might want to get full STI testing, use barrier precautions, and ask your health care provider about going on PREP, pre exposure prophylaxis before that dinner.

Middle Ages, dear, not middle aged.

They'd be more into the pikes and skewering.

I think we are wasting our time. The wedding is what this lady wants and if she can live with it all , so be it, but it will happen again vat some other mate of his stag do.

Because ‘boys will be boys right’? What’s one or two vaginas in your face when you’re about to marry 🤷🏻‍♀️

The internalised misogyny is strong with this one.

This! And not just the people that were there that night, all their partners and anyone else those videos have been shared with.

I mean, his behaviour is despicable, it’s cheating plain and simple. But the idea that all those people will be sniggering and throwing their eyes to heaven at my wedding would be another reason for me not to go through with it. OP will be a laughing stock.

I must admit this part made me cringe as it's showing him women can be paid for. Which seems very inappropriate given the cause of the argument

Or when he cheats because he just couldn't help it or say no.

OP, what happens when it’s another mate’s stag do? Is he going to pop along to that one?

are you happy for history to repeat itself ? I will put money on it there won’t be any cameras next time….