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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do you like being a parent?-honestly?

165 replies

Honeyandmarmitesandwichesfortea · 20/04/2026 16:34

Start by saying, I love my Dd more than anything or anyone in the world. I waited years to have her and threw myself into being a mummy, I still do.
The early years were hard at points, but looking back were the best years of my life.
Recently, i’m finding it all too much and don’t enjoy being a parent at all. I find it stressful probably 80% of the time now. I miss my old life and the life Dh and I had, I know that sounds truly awful. I wouldn’t change things, because I wouldn’t be without Dd, but I don’t enjoy it anymore.
Was there an age/point where it becomes more enjoyable for anyone?
Dd is 7

OP posts:
HoldItAllTogether · Yesterday 20:59

I always loved it and I still do. Some of it is luck. I happened to have chilled and naturally well behaved kids. I assume our parenting helped but I think they came out chilled. I was also lucky that we didn’t have financial worries which makes everything a lot easier.

WhatNextImScared · Yesterday 21:02

legy · Yesterday 20:58

Honestly, no I don't love it or even like it that much. I love my children but Its never really got easier as they got older, its just hard in different ways. Its so hard not lose yourself between parenting, running a home, fulltime work and other responsibilities and that is with lovely kids and a really great husband who easily does his 50% or more.

There are nice moments but I don't think I would do it again given the chance, I'd also never say that to anyone in real life, not even my husband. Maybe its the time we live in although I am sure all times had their difficulties, the pressure seems relentless these days and then I worry about their futures. Will they find good partners, will they be able to earn enough for a good life, get a secure home, have access to a functioning NHS, clean air to breathe, a liveable pension.

I am from a fairly poor background and did will at school, went to University and got a decent job, worked really hard and even then it feels we haven't much to show for it. Being the first to go to university from my family meant I didn't have much idea of how things worked and lacked confidence and probably had lower expectations than many of my peers and lacked the contacts many of them had. I feel as though I didn't have enough to really ensure they'd be able to compete in the world and if I'd really thought about that I might have had the foresight not to have them unless I knew I could really give them what they need to do really well. It sounds like I am focuses on money and really I don't actually care about wealth and stuff its just that it seems increasingly obvious to me that for ordinary people life is going to become increasingly hard over the years to come even those who previously were affluent will struggle to achieve a basic standard of living, its already happening.

I recognise a lot of this. Hang in there. Posts on here about retiring at 50 always make me want to cry. We’re mortgaged until my DH is past retirement age.

I think I would do it again if I had my time over BUT maybe not in this specific economic situation.

SailingYachty · Yesterday 21:10

Does anyone always enjoy anything all the time?! A lot of the time, yes, the cuddles, the love, the hand holding and the adventures together I love. My dds are 8 and 10 and a lot of the time are great fun. I do hate the bickering and fighting they do, the strops, the long bedtimes and the whining. It’s not all roses! I wouldn’t change it, but my kids don’t have any issues, I can see if you had children with additional needs it could be really tough.

Newyearawaits · Yesterday 21:11

I struggled with the loneliness of single parenthood and all the associated financial hardship (real hardship).
It was relentless and all on me.
I can't say that I enjoyed it although I love my now adult child.
Unfortunately, being a parent has cost me enormously ( not financially), addiction, imprisonment and lots more.
I am in permanent emotional pain that I have learnt to freeze to enable me to function.
I hope and pray for change

Additup · Yesterday 21:14

It gets better when they leave home. That way you've had some respite when they come back for holidays etc and know they'll be off again.

PonkyPonky · Yesterday 21:17

I love being a parent. DS is currently 9 and he’s just my best friend. He loves all the same things as me. We walk for miles in the countryside and just enjoy each others company. We both hate sitting at home doing nothing so it helps we have that in common as we can go be ‘busy’ together. Do you have things in common with your DD? Can you find things you both love to do so it’s fun and not a chore to hang out with her?

MaybeToxic · Yesterday 21:21

Honeyandmarmitesandwichesfortea · 20/04/2026 17:56

Well, she’s Nd so it can be a real struggle at times, i’m a very calm person, whereas she is always on the go…always. We don’t do sleepovers yet as too young, friends houses yes, but that’s only a few hours. At school, i’m at work. She’s amazing, bright, funny, but v strong willed and non stop

Show quote history

What do you think would make life better? What is it that you want, that you're missing?

localnotail · Yesterday 21:22

Mine is 13, Wish had him earlier/ wish I had more. Being a parent is the best thig ever.

localnotail · Yesterday 21:25

My DC is not "chilled" or well behaved - but I find life with him lovely and fun. I love him and he is the best company - I travelled with him solo since he was 10 months, and still love going places with him. He makes my life much more colourful and fresh and fun.

SeekOIt · Yesterday 21:48

I love my daughter but hate being a mum. She's almost 5 and is on the waiting list to be assessed for ADHD and is such such hard work. Loves to poke and prod and wind me up and stands laughing in my face when I do eventually lose it. From the moment she gets up to the moment she goes to bed. I'm on my own with her. She refuses to sleep in her own bed and will only go to bed when I do, so its an 8pm bed time for me. I hate mum life

kabbaloosh · Yesterday 22:07

I loved being a mum in the first two years when we just had one small (adorable) child. Now they’re 4 and 7, and I love them, but my life feels very limited and exhausting. I feel really overstimulated. No regrets, but I can’t say I’m loving it. I do love spending time just with my 7yo; it’s when they’re together that they behave really badly.

Jopo12 · Yesterday 22:10

I don't enjoy being a parent. I had one and said never again. I truly don't have any comprehension of how people love it so much they have a second, third, fourth etc

Mcoco · Yesterday 22:27

Yes I love being a mum. I found the first couple of years extremely difficult with my first child but it got easier. I think you will find it gets better as they get older.

Helpmechooseanamee · Yesterday 22:35

Ive nearly got 4 kids (4th due next month) and I can honestly say I love it and wouldn't change a thing, even though I'm often exhausted.

TheGlitterFairy · Yesterday 22:44

PeloMom · 20/04/2026 16:53

I’m a bit of the opposite OP. Mine is 7 as well. I found the first 4-5 yrs a slog and very unpleasant; I missed my pre kid days every single day, the restrictiveness was unbearable. The last 2 yrs have gotten much better and we are very close to living our lives again with more freedom, the only difference being a small person joining us.

This is interesting and I’m pleased I’m
not alone. I have DS4.5 and recently commented to DH that I was FINALLY beginning to enjoy him. Love him pieces of course but would agree that I’ve found hard and felt v restricted / missed our old life.
I was ecstatic (and relieved) to find this new state and love that he is with us on this journey.

MatriarchCaz · Yesterday 22:45

I love my kids enormously, but being a grandparent wins.

Northernlights19 · Yesterday 22:51

BinNightTonight · 20/04/2026 17:20

I absolutely love it, I feel its what I was made to do. I love each age more than the last, though at the time I think i cant possibly.

My child is only 18 months though so ask me again in a few years!!

I thought you were going to say your child is 18 😂

BinNightTonight · Yesterday 22:54

Northernlights19 · Yesterday 22:51

I thought you were going to say your child is 18 😂

Show quote history

Im sure i wont be so gushing when hes 18 😂

sunnydisaster · Yesterday 22:55

My DCs are young adults now and I do find it stressful in that there’s always an issue with one or the other of them and I get to hear all about it. Jobs, relationships, uni, health issues - I’m their go-to person.
We do have a great relationship but the stress impacts on me.
I do like being a parent but it is very challenging.
Now I feel I look back in their younger years with rose tinted glasses. It feels like a long time ago in a way.

Forthesteps · Yesterday 22:55

No.

EmeraldShamrock000 · Yesterday 22:56

Yes, at times it is stressful, more often than not but I wouldn’t change it for anything.

purpleme12 · Yesterday 22:58

I like being a parent in general sure

But it's very hard yes. My child is not an easy child. She's 12. I don't think she's actually ever been an easy child (apart from when she was a baby she was a great easy baby actually) but the last several years she's been even harder. I find that really hard. Hard to deal with. By yourself.
That is by far the trickiest thing. And then I feel shit.
And I beat myself up about it and am convinced I'm not dealing with it right and she'll hate me when she's older or something.
I wish I knew the best way to deal with her

I find it hard to keep on top of the house (and no I am in no way one of those perfectionist people with the house - far from it!). I feel like that's almost the stupidest thing as well because I think everyone else can sort a house much easier and be ok with it.

badgerandthefox · Today 06:46

kabbaloosh · Yesterday 22:07

I loved being a mum in the first two years when we just had one small (adorable) child. Now they’re 4 and 7, and I love them, but my life feels very limited and exhausting. I feel really overstimulated. No regrets, but I can’t say I’m loving it. I do love spending time just with my 7yo; it’s when they’re together that they behave really badly.

I find this as well and have wondered if people replying saying they love it have just the one. I do think it makes a huge difference.

Wild3 · Today 07:07

TreeDudette · 20/04/2026 17:12

Not really at the moment. I love my daughter but she has struggled since going to secondary school and was diagnosed with ASD a few years ago. Over the last 6 months her mental health has declined considerably and she is now struggling to even leave her bed. We are working with GP and a psychiatrist who specialises in this sort of thing. We are trialling a cocktail of meds and things started to look up over Easter and I felt hope but this week she has crashed again. My life is now tiny. Can't leave her for more than a few hours but she can't leave the house either. We've cancelled holidays this year at the last minute as she couldn't go and have other big life events planned over the next few months that may just end up cancelled. She is utterly miserable and that is making the whole house miserable. I don't know how to fix this and the emotional rollercoaster is exhausting. I had hoped that by the time my daughter was 15 going on 16 that she'd be a bit more independant and I'd be able to go out for dinner or maybe away for the odd night without worrying about her but this feels more restrictive than having a toddler - at least you can fling them in a buggy and have a day out. She is struggling to sleep so I get woken up a few times per night most nights.

This is my life too. Loved babies and primary school children but it all unravelled age 14 as undiagnosed ADHD got the better of my daughter and now she barely leaves her bed and hasn’t been to school for months. She is being treated but limited results so far. Completely agree I’m finding it more difficult than having a toddler - at least you can lift a toddler up and put them in the car when you need to go somewhere. Now I can’t leave the house for more than a couple of hours which is obviously incredibly difficult with a FT job and other children. Age 7 was fab!

localnotail · Today 07:24

I'm a single parent, live in a huge city, work full time and my kid is has ADHD - so a lot going on, no time to even watch TV. But to me this life is 100 times more enjoyable that me being childless living in a posh village with a boring exH. Maybe I just hate quiet Groundhog Day life where nothing happens)))