Do you like being a parent?-honestly?

[Honeyandmarmitesandwichesfortea]

Start by saying, I love my Dd more than anything or anyone in the world. I waited years to have her and threw myself into being a mummy, I still do.
The early years were hard at points, but looking back were the best years of my life.
Recently, i’m finding it all too much and don’t enjoy being a parent at all. I find it stressful probably 80% of the time now. I miss my old life and the life Dh and I had, I know that sounds truly awful. I wouldn’t change things, because I wouldn’t be without Dd, but I don’t enjoy it anymore.
Was there an age/point where it becomes more enjoyable for anyone?
Dd is 7

I think 7 is still really little in the great scheme. I would say you’re still in the early years really - not in terms of the national curriculum but in terms of their life as a whole.

I like being a parent more and more as mine get older tbh! 17 yo is a dream!

I love it, but find that if I think too deeply about it then it can be overwhelming (eg what sort of world the future holds for them and their own DC, whether I'm making the right decisions, what would happen to them if something happened to me)!
Best to just lean into it, OP.
7 is a nice age, in my opinion, but there are always tricky phases. You'll get more time to yourself in a few years.

The great thing about them still being little like yours is, though, is that they still want to do everything with you!

And you can go on all the classic days out aimed at families, on holidays of your choosing for them etc and they think everything brilliant and fun! I miss that bit.

My DS is ND. I am finding negotiating life now he is a young adult very stressful at times. He doesn't gel with adulthood very well and there is always something.

I love him very much and mostly I am glad we adopted him and would be devastated if anything happened to him.

But there are times, with mental health issues, self harm etc., all still ongoing, that I do wonder what my life would have been like if we hadn't adopted. I would certainly have a healthier bank account!!

I have teenagers and I quite often wish I'd never have kids. This thought never even occurred to me when they were younger, it was sometimes tough but I always loved them.
I still love them but I do sometimes wonder if it will ever be worth all the hassle.

I think it depends on individual temperament and your own life circumstances at the time, Your own upbringing, support network etc..

One of mine, absolutely not those problem in 20 years. The other one, absolute nightmare age 11 to 15! And I mean really hard work.

Same parents, same schools, pretty much same circumstances. Apart from that, I have really enjoyed it and feel a bit redundant and now they’re older and we miss when they were younger and Need much more involvement from me.

Yes. My children are the joy of my life. They give me purpose in everything I do. That doesn’t mean they aren’t occasionally exasperating, but I wouldn’t never swap being a Mum for all the freedom and money in the world.

I love it (2 teens). The joy is exquisite. But the ache of it can be overwhelming: the pain for their pain, the fear for their safety, the desperate hope that I am doing it right, and that they will be alright. My heart is outside my body, and there’s no putting it back.

They do come out of it, one of ours was an absolute nightmare and caused probably 99% of stress in the house for about six years!

We have a really nice relationship now, He’s actually turned into a really nice person. Just struggled with the transition, I think.

Also, I think secondary school, unless it’s a very small, private one absolutely ruins most children, their personalities and spirit.

Generally yes but I'm finding the teenage years hard

I absolutely love it. I don’t think it’s easy but she’s nearly 2 and I find her so adorable. I prefer this stage to the baby stage as I like the fun and interaction. I will admit to being very tired though. I’m an older mam and work full time so i constantly feel tired but I am really enjoying it

😂It’s v early days

Nope. I love my DC, but find most things about being a parent VERY VERY BORING! Not stressful, as I’ve lots of resources, but boring. My prior life was far more enjoyable. When people talk about how wonderful it all is, I’m genuinely baffled.

I enjoy the toddler stage more than the baby stage, and I’m hopeful that stuff will get more interesting as they get older. The likelihood of life being as enjoyable as it was pre-kids seems fairly negligible, though. As I had a pretty awesome life.

The kids themselves are a joy, though.

What has changed & become more difficult?

This is the sort of thing I mean. I find this utterly baffling (no offence meant, I’m actually very jealous).

Girl or boy?

@Honeyandmarmitesandwichesfortea what did you actually expect having child would involve?
It's a lifetime commitment and not compulsory if you don't want a different life.
Parenting is a job. It's very rare for anyone to love their job all the time. And since you can't resign you are probably going to have to revisit your expectations instead!

Op what is it specifically that you’re finding difficult?

I'm also wondering what you feel you are missing in your old life? Why are you finding this age hard? Just wondering, as one 7-year-old doesn't sound crazy burdensome, or at least, they might be, but they also can go and play at a friend's house, have sleepovers, go to school, so what's the thing you would like to be different?

I'm not saying you should like it, just trying to find out what you don't like.

I like being a parent, but I don't love every minute of it.

Wondered if you are feeling blue for some other reason, or just groundhog day, or if you can include more of the things you do want to do in your life?

No. I love my children completely but no I don't enjoy it. My youngest is SEN. I dont go out, lost all friendships over the years, about to lose my job as I cant work around school issues. Ended my marriage as my exH never helped. He enjoys being a parent as he puts in 4 hours a month and the kids think hes the best thing ever but day to day I can barely afford food shops and bills.

I envy the lives of families without SEN, or with a support network.

Without these in place I do not enjoy being a parent. But I pretend I do.

I love it! And now I'm looking forward to being a grandmother too. 👵

I suppose it depends on what you find interesting. Everyone is different and there is no right or wrong.

I found watching my dd learn and develop utterly fascinating. The speed at which they learn is mind-blowing.

Right…okay

I wouldn’t be without them. They have immensely enriched my life.

But the weight of responsibility I feel sometimes is crushing. This probably isn’t quite true, but it feels like my dps had much more certainty and simplicity in their parenting and still believe that their way was right. I don’t have certainty about anything I’m doing, and that’s been hard.

Well, she’s Nd so it can be a real struggle at times, i’m a very calm person, whereas she is always on the go…always. We don’t do sleepovers yet as too young, friends houses yes, but that’s only a few hours. At school, i’m at work. She’s amazing, bright, funny, but v strong willed and non stop