What is the obsession with therapy/counselling?

[iamfedupwiththis]

Ok please tell me what is the bloody obsession on this site with therapy or counselling??

Nearly every thread I read there are people suggesting therapy for the most simple of things

Can no one make any decisions alone any more?

Can no make changes to improve their life with it?

Can no one pick up a hobby or do something for themselves without?

I don't get it?

I don't get what talking about it for years on end changes the situation.

Zeitgeist
Probably due to the demise of traditional cohesive community structures and church going. In the past a lot of people received what would now be called therapy in other guises and from people other than therapists. Atomised societies don’t have those support structures.

But there may come a time where you simply can't "crack on" and at that point you may choose to seek additional support beyond friends and family. Or perhaps not, which is great for you.

Other people experience life differently to you, though. So whether you see value or not has no impact on whether it is of value to others.

Er, I think you’ll find they do.
Maybe not life coaches, but I know some of those who have studied as well.

I'm a psychotherapist. I trained for three years and am registered with the BACP.

I don't understand quite what you're so irritated by in your OP.

Gaining insight into the underlying emotional and psychological drivers for the way we think, feel and behave can be transformative and free us up to see ourselves in completely different, more positive, compassionate ways.

I have clients come to see me for all sorts of reasons. Usually it starts out as 'I'm just a bit anxious', or 'I feel generally low in mood', or 'I can't control my anger'. But with the right sort of inquiry, the layers are slowly peeled back to reveal deep wounds such as trauma, bereavement, and childhood abuse and/or physical or emotional neglect. Emotional neglect is one of the most insidious ones because people can believe they grew up in a 'happy' family. But when you look further into it, there can be a painful realisation that while all your physical and material needs may have been met, in fact none of your emotional needs were. That can lead to an inexplicable feeling of abandonment that is carried through into adulthood and re-enacted in relationships.

People carry so much. And when they're stuck in the same pattern, wondering how to make changes, having an objective person who is not emotionally invested in you in the way that friends and family are, can be really helpful in guiding you through asking those difficult questions. Often we are far too close to the wood to be able to see it for the trees.

It's really not unusual to get to session eight or nine talking about general anxiety or anger, or whatever the presenting issue is, and then the client will disclose that they were raped at university, or something similarly awful and shattering happened to them. Then things start to make sense. The pieces fall into place, dots start joining up, and the real work of healing can begin.

It's a genuine privilege to do this work and I don't know why an individual's process of better understanding themselves would invite any kind of judgement.

Perhaps those who would judge find the idea threatening?

How? You dont think we need both a healthy body and a healthy mind to function optimally?

I’m just watching some Victoria Wood ‘stuff’.
Dolly from Dinnerladies:
’Counselling? My mother was trapped under a Blackpool tram and all she got was a cup of tea and two tickets to Charlie Drake!’
Kitty, part of the Cheshire set and agony aunt, on other people’s problems:
‘We’re spunky in Cheadle, we totter on!’

I'm not so sure. I was born in 1957, so I'm quite old. There never really was a time when talking about your marriage problems, rape, being unable to cope with your own kids or how awful your parents were was particularly acceptable. And you certainly didn't "air your dirty linen" (as it was called) with fellow church goers, not if they were Church of England anyway. Blimey, you'd be the talk of the neighbourhood, and not in a good way. You were expected to get on with it. And to be fair, a lot of people were living in mouldy tenement blocks with outside toilets so psychological insecurities were the least of anyone's problems.

I was in a job that was toxic, I was crying every day on my way to work, thinking about crashing the car so I could get a break, having panic attacks, crying in boots over a mascara.

I changed jobs as quick as I could, what would counselling have done, it wouldn't have changed the job situation would it?

I agree with you that a stiff upper lip was more normal and small communities can be overly nosey (even now), but I think people often spoke about their problems and provided support in different and more subtle ways. Though I’m sure this results in sporadic levels of support. Equally, many people would have found the idea of talking openly about their problems horrifying, not helpful. I am not suggesting we look back through rose-tinted spectacles, but I do think there has been a major zeitgeist shift.

I don't think going round in circles with someone who isn't qualified is going to improve anyone's mind

A lot of people were also committed, or spent their lives drugged up to the eyeballs on Valium. Luckily we’ve found healthier ways to deal with things since then.

So you have professional qualifications - not everyone has though have they?

Even though I and others have told you repeatedly that our own experiences show that it can indeed improve your mind? Why are you refusing to acknowledge that?

ETA: I do accept your point that lots of therapists are rubbish. It can be very difficult to find a good one.

Some things can't just be changed like that. That's one of the times where therapy may be helpful for someone.

But what would therapy have done for me?

It can't change the dynamics of the work force

It can't change the working hours

It can't change what I was facing every day

What would it have done?

This explains a lot about why you feel the way you do.

You're very harsh towards yourself, and I think there are different ways. But you will have your reasons for the choices you make.

Though we also closed asylums abruptly and turfed out elderly people who were so institutionalised they struggled to survive. I had a great aunt who lived in a vast and imposing Victorian asylum in Edinburgh for decades. She was a very bright woman - she was a decoder at Bletchley - but had a nervous breakdown after her RAF pilot fiancé died. From what I understand, she became the asylum librarian and was very content there. They weren’t all horror houses.

Ethical counsellors are qualified.

I don’t have any real issues but had a bit of therapy recently to help me get over a few stumbling blocks I was struggling with. I was able to reflect, have been given a few exercises that really help me when I feel overwhelmed or get task paralysis.

some of the best money I’ve spent.

But not everyone is ethical

Nor are they all qualified to the same level

You could have had tools to deal with the situation, had help to better respond and understand your reactions, techniques to manage difficult situations etc.

or just someone to vent to.

Some things can't be changed such as changing jobs due to issues at work and therapy can help with processing and coming to terms with issues such as trauma and/or treating PTSD.

As I said in my first comment, it isn't for everyone. It clearly helps some people though and I don't see the issue.

Easy enough to find out if you're approaching a therapist.

Good therapy might have made this: I was in a job that was toxic, I was crying every day on my way to work, thinking about crashing the car so I could get a break, having panic attacks, crying in boots over a mascara. less difficult in your day-to-day.

But no one wants to argue with you, it's your life. If you want to get through life your way, that's entirely ok.

Hopefully things are much improved for you now.

It's easy to check this.