Page 13 | What is the obsession with therapy/counselling?

iamfedupwiththis · 2026-04-20T08:57:50+00:00

Ok please tell me what is the bloody obsession on this site with therapy or counselling?? Nearly every thread I read there are people suggesting therapy for the most simple of things Can no one make any decisions alone any more? Can no make changes to improve their life with it? Can no one pick up a hobby or do something for themselves without? I don't get it? I don't get what talking about it for years on end changes the situation.

Lucelulu · Yesterday 13:06

WearingMyTherapistHat · Yesterday 12:49

Also, I suppose my answers are going to be positioned from the angle of someone who runs a private practice. So all the clients I see have actively sought me out and presumably want to begin a therapeutic process.

It may be different with NHS services where a client may have been referred by a GP who's not picked up on something nuanced going on and has decided six weeks of CBT after a nine month wait is the right treatment for 'health anxiety', when really the problem is endometriosis or something.

I can see how that might happen.

I think there’s also a real difference between NHS provided therapy which in the current climate rightly concentrates on those most in need - trauma, severe mental illness etc. - and private practice where the client needs a minimum (I think) of £80 and as much as £200 for a session. So it’s hard to generalize given these routes

badgerandthefox · Yesterday 13:09

Or maybe it just isn’t for them?

I was referred for therapy a few years ago. I am fairly sure there was nothing ‘wrong’ with the counsellor; she was pleasant and professional, but it wasn’t helpful and at £50 a session (and this was over ten years ago; I imagine it’s gone up considerably now) it was a huge amount of money.

It’s fine to say something isn’t conducive for you at this time.

BunfightBetty · Yesterday 13:12

Lucelulu · Yesterday 13:06

I think there’s also a real difference between NHS provided therapy which in the current climate rightly concentrates on those most in need - trauma, severe mental illness etc. - and private practice where the client needs a minimum (I think) of £80 and as much as £200 for a session. So it’s hard to generalize given these routes

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Where we are there isn't really anything for severe mental health problems. You'll be back and forth - over months and months - seeing psychiatrists to adjust your meds, while they dangle the carrot of getting therapy in front of you, only to be told - 18 months later at least - that the 'therapy' will consist of going for a walk once a week with a group of other patients, with a therapist. That's it.

Other than that, you can do an online CBT course, which might help a bit if you're a bit low or anxious and haven't done any reading up on it. I think there might be some way of accessing a person down the line for some sort of CBT-lite if that doesn't work, but I don't think they're actually qualified therapists, just trained to 'deliver' some form of CBT.

Lucelulu · Yesterday 13:14

BunfightBetty · Yesterday 13:12

Where we are there isn't really anything for severe mental health problems. You'll be back and forth - over months and months - seeing psychiatrists to adjust your meds, while they dangle the carrot of getting therapy in front of you, only to be told - 18 months later at least - that the 'therapy' will consist of going for a walk once a week with a group of other patients, with a therapist. That's it.

Other than that, you can do an online CBT course, which might help a bit if you're a bit low or anxious and haven't done any reading up on it. I think there might be some way of accessing a person down the line for some sort of CBT-lite if that doesn't work, but I don't think they're actually qualified therapists, just trained to 'deliver' some form of CBT.

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True, that was my experience too for a gfilu member. But it’s true it SHOULD be for those most in need I think.

Lucelulu · Yesterday 13:14

True, that was my experience too for a gfilu member. But it’s true it SHOULD be for those most in need I think.

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‘Family member’ that should read

OrangeOpalFruits · Yesterday 13:24

Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, you seem to have no insight into adverse childhood experiences, and the lifelong effect they have.
You can't choose to get over trauma through willpower, any more than you can choose to change the colour of your eyes.
Even if you lead an apparently happy, productive "getting on with it" life that you seem to value-the trauma is there, and without skilled therapy, will never be addressed.

K0usa · Yesterday 13:34

OrangeOpalFruits · Yesterday 13:24

Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, you seem to have no insight into adverse childhood experiences, and the lifelong effect they have.
You can't choose to get over trauma through willpower, any more than you can choose to change the colour of your eyes.
Even if you lead an apparently happy, productive "getting on with it" life that you seem to value-the trauma is there, and without skilled therapy, will never be addressed.

Exactly this my child’s trauma was left and she’s now so unwell, at risk of inpatient and hoovering up so many resources. It’s a false economy. The child that had what was needed and therapy is doing so much better and not needing treatment.

Mental illness doesn’t on away if left untreated, it just gets worse.

ilovesooty · Yesterday 13:37

LordofMisrule1 · Yesterday 11:15

Unfortunately this is one of those things where you need to know a little in order to protect yourself. Many people seeking therapy will understandably assume that in order for someone to be portraying themselves as a therapist/counsellor they've done the training. Even some qualified counsellors purport that they can deliver other modalities when they're not actually accredited or properly trained. For example when I went to what I thought was a CBT therapist, only to find she was a counsellor that had done a two day course in CBT!

(For reference, to actually become a qualified CBT therapist you need to have done a 1yr postgrad diploma at university including 200 supervised clinical hours, assignments, tapes, etc. it's not something you can learn in 10hr and deliver effectively).

These people prey on those that don't know they should check their therapist is on a register.

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Yes. I have a registered CBT qualification but I don't regard myself as a CBT therapist. If someone refers to me wanting that as a primary modality I tell them that it might be better to look for someone else. It's the honest and ethical thing to do. All my qualifications are listed on my website and I am happy to show them to anyone who wants to see them.

In any case I'm not chasing work. The majority of my caseload these days is supervision and I have to provide copies of qualifications, proof of BACP membership and proof of professional indemnity insurance to training providers. I've had to turn two potential supervisees away because, quite rightly, the latest training provider who's accepted me won't allow a supervisor to work with more than two trainees in any one cohort. I also work with EAPs. I have an enhanced DBS on the update service and I'm insured for more than the average level. I'm prepared to pay for these things that enhance professional credibility.

Most of my work comes through recommendation and word of mouth anyway.

LondonLady1980 · Yesterday 14:01

I love my counsellor. I first started seeing her when she was near to getting her qualification and I have continued to see now she’s qualified. I find just being in her presence makes me feel so calm.

Sometimes I sit in her room and for the first 5 minutes I just close my eyes, roll my head back on the sofa and just breathe…… I don’t even talk. I just relax and take in the feeling of being safe any away from the rest of the world. It’s the one place in the world where I feel I can escape from life. It’s heaven.