What is the obsession with therapy/counselling?

[iamfedupwiththis]

Ok please tell me what is the bloody obsession on this site with therapy or counselling??

Nearly every thread I read there are people suggesting therapy for the most simple of things

Can no one make any decisions alone any more?

Can no make changes to improve their life with it?

Can no one pick up a hobby or do something for themselves without?

I don't get it?

I don't get what talking about it for years on end changes the situation.

Agreed OP. It’s sold as some kind of cure for any kind of trauma. It’s not. It may be helpful for some people to talk deeply about certain things from their past to help them process it, but IME it’s better to be proactive and practical- make positive changes in your life that are going to improve it, rather than dwelling on everything that’s wrong with it

I agree with you to some degree (and I am a trained psychotherapist)

Therapy can be very helpful for many people, but it is not for all and it can be long term. Many people are stuck in a cycle of feeling they need to see their therapist and a lot of money is being exploited from vulnerable people.

I think at times when people have recently been to therapy and it has been helpful they can be almost evangelical about therapy and how it can solve everyone's issues (and this is work a therapist should be exploring with their clients as this is often tied in with putting their therapist on a pedestal)

I found it very helpful when going through a tricky divorce.

did I strictly need it? Probably not in the sense ai could have coped without it but it was bloody helpful.

It's funny but I was only thinking about this the other day.

At times it seems as though almost everyone on MN has had counselling or therapy of some sort.

I guess it's better than years ago when doctors would try to dish out medication like Smarties.

Have you struggled to the point where you've been too overwhelmed to face the day?

Good, ethical counselling can be life changing, because it can bring changes to how a person deals with or responds to a situation.

Yes, important to avoid unqualified and unregistered therapists.

Why you’re getting irrationally angry with total strangers online about something you clearly don’t understand or have any experience of?

It might blow your mind that I fit therapy in around a demanding FT job, raising a child, having a social life p, dealing with elderly parents, and all the other normal time constraints on the average person.

You sound like my mother :-)!

For me, I found therapy useful for having a trained, neutral set of ears to listen to me without judgment, but also to be able to label some things that had gone on in my life as abuse (whereas to me, it was just normal life because it was what I had grown up with), to help me identify my own toxic behaviours, and try to come up with healthier ways of coping, to feel less isolated, and supported (whereas in my family, isolation and a lack of support was a means of control and a way of reinforcing the status quo).

It definitely wasn't just about agreeing with everything I said, it was bloody challenging and hard work, and sometimes I literally had to be hauled into therapy by my wonderful other half. Scraping the scabs and scar tissue off psychological wounds can be as painful as physical ones, and leaving you feeling just as raw. But it made me a better person, and later along the way, a better parent, who was determined not to allow cycles of abusive and destructive behaviour to continue.

I didn't succeed with all, or even enough of that, but I definitely did better than I would have without that.

You don't have to go to therapy.

Other people's need for therapy is none of your business.

Does that help at all?

You've presumably not struggled in a way where you personally felt therapy would help.

But why judge others who do feel that help would work?

People don't have the community support of previous generations, people are more isolated.

It does happen whereby people experience distress and immediately think this is a mental illness requiring treatment - the distress is real and they might be having a truly awful time, but it doesn’t mean they need therapy with a treatment plan examples include:-

Relationship break up
Child access arrangements
Housing issue
Financial pressure
Court cases as a perpetrator
Any stressful life event

No amount of therapy will sort the above, negative felt emotions are healthy and have a place - it’s why we have them

1. Needy people- wanting to be fixed but not wanting to help themselves

2. Grabby people claiming they cannot function due their ‘mental elfff’ and want a letter stating so, then disappear when they don’t get one because they do not have a severe diagnosis to warrant it - imagine going to your GP asking for a PIP letter for something that is treatable

3)Saying you are suicidal when you are not does not get you seen quicker - people do do this

Waiting lists are cluttered with the above and the sense of entitlement from some is just ‘wow’ -

But above all else that person is upset in some way and trying to navigate a difficult situation and maybe are an indication of a breakdown in community and overarching societal flaws

Yes. But whats the alternative.

Ring in sick. So that puts more pressure in my colleagues, is that fair on them, no.

Not take the kids to school?

Not go shopping?

Not do housework?

What is the alternative??

I agree to a certain extent, OP. I've been through severe and extended trauma when younger, and tried psychologists, psychotherapists, counselling, and group therapy to deal with the long-term aftermath, and none of it did me any good at all. It just cost a lot of money I could barely afford, and I was lucky enough to get some government subsidies or I wouldn't have been able to afford it at all.

Talking in circles about one's trauma every week while, for the most part, a therapist praises you for being self-aware and asks vague questions, is (unsurprisingly) not very helpful.

I'm sure for some specific issues (such as learning specific coping techniques or other practicalities), it could be useful....

But for the most part, it's too expensive for most people to afford someone well-qualified, there are too many 'types' of therapy for someone to figure out what would be best for them without spending enormous amounts trying out loads of different types, and then on top of that, you apparently need to mesh well with your therapist too.

For the most part, it's an indulgence for the wealthy.

This is a discussion forum.

I'm discussing a subject.

Well, therapy is obviously one alternative that helps many people in that situation.

You are talking about being overwhelmed as if you still have choice, or you that has you can function on your usual way then you may need help of some sort - same ways as you’d rest and manage flue symptoms as you can’t function in your usual way

Given your original post, are you not confusing therapy with a life coach? I’ve had therapy. I didn’t go for assistance with making decisions/making changes or ideas on a hobby. I did it to deal with reasons that were making me depressed and suicidal.

Therapy can actually be life changing for some people, if it doesn't work for them they don't have to go again. It's great you have a stable life, but many don't and shouldn't be judged for accessing help.

I used to think similarly to OP until I found myself trying to deal with a horrible situation where I needed someone outside my normal social circle to offload to and help reframe my thinking. It helped me enormously.

Wow, you seem really bothered by recommendations of therapy. Why is that.

Firstly, therapy has been shown to be statistically effective (there are numerous studied that support this).

Secondly, I've never seen therapy suggested by a majority of posters on a topic when it wasn't for something serious, life-altering or having been distressing in long-term for the OP.

'Making any decisions' and 'making changes to improve life' is vague, and points to you overdramatising the examples where therapy has been suggested.

And your description of 'talking about it for years on end' tells us precisely that you have little to no knowledge of what therapy is and how it works.

Good luck, I guess?

Trigger warning mention of suicide.

i have struggled to the point of overwhelm.

the obvious alternative is killing yourself.

I have at times been in situations where this has been a viable option.

i have lifetime membership of dignitas so that when my neurological disease becomes too unbearable I can at least get it sorted legally and relatively easily.

surely this is obvious? The alternative to keeping going is just … stopping.

I'm going out for a few hours.

Not ignoring the thread.

Exactly.

If you feel you don't need therapy, fine. Some people do want to explore whether it might be beneficial.

Just had to go against the grain here, my chatgpt therapist regularly told me to stop my shit and get a grip, it's all about the programming 🙃😂

Ooohh this is a tough one for me. I’ve had counselling for a few months and while I didn’t think it did anything on practical level, it was also good to have someone neutral to talk to. I only stopped it due to the financial side really.