What is the obsession with therapy/counselling?

[iamfedupwiththis]

Ok please tell me what is the bloody obsession on this site with therapy or counselling??

Nearly every thread I read there are people suggesting therapy for the most simple of things

Can no one make any decisions alone any more?

Can no make changes to improve their life with it?

Can no one pick up a hobby or do something for themselves without?

I don't get it?

I don't get what talking about it for years on end changes the situation.

Sounds like you needs some

Why?

Because I crack on with things?

the word therapy is quite a general word.

for example, someone who has cancer might have chemotherapy or radiotherapy. Presumably you don’t mean that kind of therapy when you say you can’t get anything from therapy that you wouldn’t get from your friends.

really the word just means a course of treatment.

so for example many people have tried hypnotherapy to stop smoking. I don’t know if it works - but I doubt you can get it from your friends.

again, many people who have phobias or fears - of flying, of spiders, of leaving the house - can do exposure therapy suppprted by a therapist. Many places run “conquer your fear of flying” courses where participants go to airports, talk through feelings and have pilots talk them through the plane etc. exposure therapy really does work for a lot of people - and again, you aren’t going to get a fear of flying course from your friends.

abusers who are convicted are sometimes made to do perpetrator therapy which is designed to challenge their beliefs and change their behaviour. They don’t want to change by and large so aren’t going to ask anyone to help them change but society doesn’t approve of abuse and trying to change their behaviour is a good goal.

even if you restrict the word to “just” talking therapy there’s a lot of therapies out there that are good.

I am not that self centred that I think anyone would want to listen to me talk about myself

Therapists are paid to listen to you talk about yourself. It's their job.

If you have no friends who listen to you talk about yourself then you definitely need therapy, fast.

I assume you’re just in an argumentative mood but no, not in my house. I didn’t get anything out of therapy but my daughter very much did. You have to meet the therapist somewhere and I was never willing to do that. My daughter was very much ready for help and got loads out of it.

My other half is a therapist. I don’t know who is clients are, obviously, but reasonably frequently they will write or send a card, with permission for me to read/see it, or they will approach him and have a chat.
They come from all walks of life.
He had treated CEOs and done pro bono work with the homeless.
He is from a working class background, educated later in life, and it is wonderful when someone thanks him, and sometimes, it’s for helping to save a life.
You have no idea what goes on behind closed doors and in other people’s minds.
I have seen the years of studying and intense training, the professional standards he adheres to and what he looks like after a long day when he can’t tell me about it.
If you have a bacterial infection you don’t just have a gin and get on with it, if it is serious.
If you get meningitis, an emergency doctor won’t tell you to have a little drive to brush the cobwebs away.
A friend cannot give you anything impartial - they are too connected with you.
And finally some of the work trauma therapists can now do helping victims of war, or those who have fought in them, is amazing.
Dr. Edith Eger, now in her 90’s, survived Auschwitz and is a leading psychotherapist and her words on how problems are unique to us are enlightening. She walks that walk every day with empathy. Maybe go and look her up. She’s faced more than any of us ever will, I think, and yet has empathy for others.

I can’t work out if you’re trolling or just being obstinate. Why aren’t you listening to people’s explanations?

You can’t always “solve your own issues” without help. If something has always been normal to you, you don’t even know that it’s an issue.

Talking to someone who is removed from the situation, who has no skin in the game, can be transformational. They can help you discover habits, unhelpful beliefs and behaviours that you never knew you had. They can point out how damaging your behaviours are to others.

I was sexually abused, and as a result I wouldn’t let my DD go to friends sleepovers. I was adamant that the world is full of abusers and I had to keep her safe. I didn’t care what other people said to me, I was convinced that they just didn’t understand because they hadn’t been abused. I was in the right. Therapy helped me to overcome that and realise that I was causing her harm and stopping her from growing. And really I was doing it to keep me safe, not her. I couldn’t cope with the worry of it happening to her. I’d never have been able to do that on my own, because I genuinely didn’t believe that it was a problem.

You can’t make changes until you’ve established the problem. Sometimes the problem is obvious and just talking to friends or family can help you solve it. Other things are well-hidden and steeped in shame and guilt, and you need a professional to get to the bottom of it.

I got seen pretty quickly. Had a young baby ay the time which helped.

So now you are saying that people who seek therapy are not only weak, but also self centred?

What other views do you have about those who use counsellors?

For wanting to start an argument with a stranger online for starters 🤣🤣🤣

Therapist are not just sitting there listening to you talk about yourself. They listen in order to understand, because they are fascinated with how people work and they have insight and training into how to help people help themselves.

It does take work and you would be challenged. Perhaps you’re not ready for that, or perhaps you don’t have anything that causes emotional pain. If so, just be grateful.

Just having a healthy debate, you can disagree with someone and it not be an argument

I can imagine getting a bit fed up with @iamfedupwiththis
Why wouldn’t someone want to listen to you?
I mean, I’m struggling a bit, but I’d give it a good go.

You are being deliberately provocative now. Are you that selfless that you wouldn’t go to your GP and tell them you’d found a lump in your breast? You’d just crack on? You wouldn’t want to draw attention to yourself?

It’s no different.

I’m with my fellow @DreamyJade

But they don't all have insight and training do they?

They don't have to have professional qualifications, experience, insight.

Many therapies are NOT about you talking about yourself

My DD did CBT for ME/CFS. It was about teaching her the concept of pacing, recording her activities, setting a goal each week to be worked on during the week (eg get outside each day). I was in the sessions as she was early teen at the time.

it was more mentoring and teaching than anything else and there was very little of my dd talking about herself.

Broadly, I agree with the OP.

I think therapy is often pushed when it’s just ups and downs of normal life. It’s also hugely expensive and the cynic in me thinks the more it’s normalised the more it encourages people to spend money on it.

ChatGPT is brilliant for talking through problems and issues.

This is what I am on about, so no one else could have given you or her the idea of pacing herself and going outside every day??

Could that info not be gotten from a leaflet, nurse, health professional, I am presuming you saw people in order to have the diagnosis?

Course it is different!

We both needed it for the same reason. After a trauma.

But that's just it. I got to the point where i couldn't just crack on. People who know me in real life would no doubt say that I'm one of the most capable people they know. I have a decent job, my own home blah blah. I'm the one that lots of people rely on. I'm the organiser, the one who gets things done.
I'd been feeling a bit low, I'd had stuff happen in my life that I hadn't had chance to deal with and it was all coming to a head. One day. I was on my way to a friend and just knowing she was going to ask how I was brought the tears. In hadn't even got there yet. She hadn't even asked me and already the tears were there. That's when I decided I needed to see someone. Up until that point....i just cracked on.

Be grateful that you can just crack on, drink your gin, swear and sing. Up until then... so could I

Do you really want to live in a world where a child with a life changing condition was given a leaflet and sent on her way?

Jesus wept.

I mentioned Health Professionals as well as a leaflet or do you just want to ignore that fact?

Surely we all pace ourselves and try to get outside as much as we can, is that just healthy behaviour?