AIBU to think most women wouldn't recognise a decent man?

[sundaymornings]

I've a few male friends (single) who are indifferent to women because they are decent blokes but most women are to sceptical. So much so it deters them from dating or getting serious.

All my straight female friends have found decent men, and so did I.

I’m not being a grammar snipe but are they indifferent to wanting a woman or (I think you mean) the women are indifferent to them?

If so I agree with PP. Mr Scarlet is a decent man / ‘nice guy’. I’ve worked in male dominated industries my whole life and I can spot the decent men vs the ones who for various reasons …are not.

So given most people are partnered, do you think most men aren't decent? But the women in these partnerships are unaware?

I am also struggling to follow your OP a bit - if your male friends are indifferent to women, surely this is the factor causing issues in their relationships, not the women. What are you saying women are sceptical about?

How we behave socially and how we act as romantic partners are 2 very different things.

Sounds like incel speak to me.

Most women are sceptical for good reason though?
Men blaming women for being reluctant to approach/date them is surely red flag territory. Maybe they’re not as great as you think they are.

Yup. Exactly that.

If you like them so much you should date them.

Seriously though, I do not think most men an spot decent men either... look at Mr Pelicot? Look at many pillars of communities that were later discovered to be creeps?

That's exactly what I thought. Typical 'nice guy' rhetoric.

Have you seen this SNL sketch? Every time I hear 'nice guy' I think of this:

Oh that’s goooood!

Excellent isn't it? And sadly SO recognisable too! And that sketch is over nine years old which is a bit depressing!!

God that is depressing but not surprising sadly

The OP is one of those ‘the male loneliness epidemic is all women’s fault’ type bollox isn’t it?

Exactly... These men are indifferent because IT'S WOMEN'S FAULT!

I don't understand the OP. If these good men are indifferent to women why would the women be interested in them?
I know many very decent men and they all have partners.
I think women are very good at recognising a decent man.
What are you trying to say OP?

Interesting that the OP also started another thread bemoaning the cost of dating as a man.

It's okay the first few answers have made me lose the argument with them.

Back to the game.

Kind of ruined the point at the end though

Yeah I was a bit annoyed with that. I guess even then they didn't want people to feel it was 'man-bashing'... even if it was observational.

Unless you've been in a sexual relationship with these men, how on earth do you know they are "decent"? Some of the craziest relationship partners all look perfectly normal and charming to other people.

Other things are not relevant for friendships but definitely deal breakers for relationships. Things like addiction, mental illness, trauma, chaotic family life, neurodivergence etc.

YABU to make sweeping statements about most women. Why wouldn't they recognise a decent man? Who says they're sceptical?

Your male friends being indifferent to women is probably the red flag the women they meet pick up on. A detached, uninterested attitude is not going to appeal to anyone.

Who is detered from dating or getting serious? Your single friends or 'most women'. This is unclear in your post @sundaymornings

Regardless, this narrative of women being at fault or not capable of recognising 'decent' men is not healthy. Indifference isn't conducive to positive interactions or developing relationships.

It’s really not clear what the ‘argument’ was. I mean, if they’re ’indifferent to women’ why is it women’s job to change that? They can be as indifferent as they
like! They’re not obliged to be in a relationship.

Good luck!

I think you're going to need it.

I believe that most women are open to meeting and having healthy relationships.

These three (guys) say that women are too sceptical about men and because of this they are indifferent to them.

Women have every right to be sceptical of men. 62 fucking million of them attended an academy to learn how to rape women.

Your friends want to be a decent man and have women not be sceptical about them, they need to do the work. They need to show they are trustworthy through their actions, not words. That means not turning back to the game when they don’t get an answer they like. When women don’t automatically fawn all over them.

You might like to ask yourself why women might be sceptical about men @sundaymornings

Engage your brain.