AIBU to think most women wouldn't recognise a decent man?

[sundaymornings]

I've a few male friends (single) who are indifferent to women because they are decent blokes but most women are to sceptical. So much so it deters them from dating or getting serious.

I had the chance of marrying two decent guys before I met DH. One was gay, though he dated women. I’m still friends with him now, he isn’t in a relationship with a man or a woman. And still wants a baby.

The other, I’ve known since play school, and was more like a brother to me. I just couldn’t make the feelings happen… He ended up marrying another friend from the group, they have a lovely life together, no kids.

I went out with plenty of bad boys & never had serious boyfriends when I was younger. I met DH at 35. It wasn’t a big love story, but we clicked. He’s not an easy person though. Would I marry him now? No.

So they don't like smart women? It's wise to be skeptical of strangers, until they've proven themselves 'safe'.

Men moan so much about women, I'm amazed they don't just date each other or choose singleness as women do. You know - anything other than be better men.

And if they have a crazy ex, that's also definitely telling.
I would also wonder about penis size, as superficial as that sounds. Sexual compatibility, a good sex life, goes hand in hand with being a decent man/partner. Is he lazy in bed, and or wanks off to porn, has a wandering eye that's obvious despite labelling himself decent?

I had a close male friend who appeared to be 'decent', but turned out to be a closet misogynist. Anti female reproductive rights, anti female representation in curtains areas of society and industry, homophobic and in deep with some weird religious cult!

There is a growing number of women who just aren’t interested in relationships. And why would they be? Too many bad experiences, they’re financially stable, maybe have some really good friends and hobbies and have a peaceful life. Why would they give that up?

That SNL skit reminds me of an old male friend of mine…

You’re doing a lot of listing of ‘things’ these men you know have (good jobs, own cars, own place are three of your examples) but there’s nothing on personality. Are they kind? Funny? Interesting? Thoughtful? Are they realistic about how much of a catch they actually are when chatting up beautiful women, because quite a few men online sit there typing things such as ‘Margot Robbie is nothing special.’

If women are sceptical towards them then that sounds like something they need to prove wrong. Put some effort in and show women they're as decent as you claim they are. Showing "indifference" towards sceptical women just looks a bit incely to me. Or should women just accept they're nice guys because they have decent jobs and a nice car?

Yup. Just another common or garden incel coming onto a women's forum to complain about nobody wanting to touch his peepee.

OP, you seem to have taken a wrong turn on your way to the manosphere.

The game? Half time? OP You are not playing a game and "us ladies" are not play things for your entertainment or amusement.

<unwatching this thread as the red flag bunting is clearly visible>

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

can’t miss em! He’s not at clever as he believes he is though - he was spotted straight away

Do you mean these three guys dated a while, but were unsuccessful and have now given up? That’s fine if they are happy to remain single.

It doesn't matter anymore. From the posts received they have been proven right.

My theory is that women who grow up with decent men as role models have a much better radar and can tell the good and bad apart.

It’s harder for women who grew up with shitty role models. People tend to feel comfortable at a deep level with familiarity, and also being with a truly decent partner can bring all sorts of things to the surface of the psyche before they’re ready to process them.

I'm sorry but when you said: 'And one is a model'!!!

As if we should fall at his feet... is truly pathetic. It sounds like you (because you're a man) and your mates don't have a brain cell to rub together.

Women ARE cynical around men like you because you have more red flags than Wales playing rugby at home.

I know a fair few single men, none of them blame women for the reason they are single. Thank goodness too or they wouldn't be my friends.

I think i'd agree with this. It would mle sense that women brought up in misogynistic or abusive households would be sceptical and wary of men. perhaps my friends have met too many of them. Going a little deeper it would seem that rejection is also at play here.

I'll bet they are just the bestest men ever, and all those evil women don't pay them any attention. Not even the model. Don't even care that they have money and houses.

Must really suck to be such a nice guy and not get the attention from women they so clearly deserve.

Sounds like they problem is they have incel mentality.

Theres no way to have any sort of conversation with such men. They are convinced they are victims and mean nasty women don't recognise their greatness.

The truth is that decent men find women while men who insist they are decent men and the problem is ungrateful women don't.

But don't waste your breath relaying this to them.

They need to believe women are the problem because they don't want to face the facts. They are not the type of men women want and they can insist they're decent all they want but I guarantee ten minutes chatting with them and women would sniff out the bullshit.

Women exist in a misogynistic and abusive society- we don’t just exist in the home we encounter this shit everywhere! Women don’t owe your friends their time or their bodies- maybe start inward with the psychological assessment

No they haven’t.

You presented an argument that couldn’t be won. We either agree with you, in which case, your friends are right. Or we disagree with you, in which case you’ve decided we’ve proven your friends right. If they use the same bollocks logic you use, then it’s no wonder women don’t want to be with them.

I had to google incel because I didn't understand the term. I can assure you these guys aren't celibate.

What!! no sceptical posts?

Your friends are dickheads and so are you.
I mean, I haven't even met them and I can tell just from your description.
So no, women CAN recognise a decent man, it's just that your friends don't qualify.

I said have incel mentality, not are incels.
Its a specific way of viewing women.

What is your agenda here?

Are we supposed to fall over ourselves to stroke the egos of some random men you claim you're with right now? Convince them we are nice women who would want them? Justify ourselves? Apologise for mean women? Or for being women?

Any man who sneers and claims women cant recognise decent men is not a decent man
Decent men dont sneer about women.