AIBU to think most women wouldn't recognise a decent man?

[sundaymornings]

I've a few male friends (single) who are indifferent to women because they are decent blokes but most women are to sceptical. So much so it deters them from dating or getting serious.

OP, you keep saying that we have proved your friends rights as if that’s some kind of gotcha.

You don’t seem to have caught on yet that we don’t actually give a shit about what your incel mates think.

We’re actually just inwardly laughing at them and you

Inwardly?

So if they're indifferent to women but not celibate, they must be gay. That'll be why they're not gelling with women.
That's that solved!

I know lots of decent, good men. And none of them would want me to be anything but sceptical meeting a stranger for a date. Otherwise I’m putting myself at risk as he could be anyone.
You clearly have no idea how women have to behave because of the behaviour of some men. We don’t know who the good ones are when we meet them, but any decent man should have enough awareness and emotional intelligence to understand that.
Probably for the best that these ones have given up on dating.

I'd think any sensible woman would be skeptical about a man whose mate is determined he's "decent", but the best thing they can say about him is he's a model.

And any decent man would recognise she was right to be cautious.

I could understand "decent" guys being a bit peeved about the "I love a bad boy" trope.

I know it was a generalisation. We were just talking about meeting and dating women.
As is usual for men there is a certain amount of rejection and I suppose scepticism and maybe that is justified, given the world we live in and maybe because of women's family backgrounds or previous relationships. They were just saying that they now are indifferent to women they had become because of that attitude. Whether that attitude is warranted or not.

Maybe they could try being better men.

The thing is, as previous posters have said, you've not listed a single thing that shows they're 'decent'. And you haven't responded to that. My DH is very decent indeed. He's kind, caring, a great dad, treats me as an equal, is present emotionally in our relationship, is considerate in bed....is he a model? No. Could I give a shit what car he drives? Also no.

Women face exactly the same. We also face scepticism and judgement and rejection. It's called dating in the modern world. You can't think that we don't? Most things in life that men find hard, women find harder because of the way the world has been constructed and how society follows along with that.

Either you take it to heart and get sniffy, or you build a bridge and get over it. Depends on your personal resilience, depends on how deeply you were hurt , used or rejected in the past. But it applies on both sides.

Men don't have the monopoly on rejection or hurt feelings. And it shows how out of touch with the world they must be if they think they do.

I have a great man he’d never behave the way of your friends. Have they considered speaking to men who can actually pull and sustain healthy long term relationships instead of men who hang out with their brother without any evidence about them been able to have a healthy relationship, just a thought.

Men who claim to be nice guys are usually anything but. Do these apparently decent men talk about how women are stupid and only interested in assholes? Because there’s a name for men like that

As is usual for men there is a certain amount of rejection and I suppose scepticism and maybe that is justified, given the world we live in and maybe because of women's family backgrounds or previous relationships

Ah yes let's blame the women and their insecurities (which are usually caused by men!).

These wonderful men you're friends with aren't indifferent to women because of women, they're indifferent to women due to the fault of other men causing scepticism. If they can't be assed to try and change that then that's on them.

Wow!! there's a lot of hurt out there isn't there?

Ah there it is. The poor women must be hurt because they disagree with men and aren't allowed an opinion. Boring

Yeah, are you looking at male crime statistics?

Oh god yes. Im an old bugger now and married for nearly 30 years to an actual decent man, but my twenties were full of men complaining about how horrible women were for not wanting them.

Those men spouted horrible shit about women, were leering, groping, filthy comment making, drunken sleezebags whose endgame was always getting into your knickers while calling women slags and bitches.

Gosh Darren, why is it women don't want you? Mystery indeed.

They would be mystified by the rejection. And angry. Because in their minds women had no right to reject them.

They were completely incapable of looking at themselves for the answer.

If you are not the type of man women want to be with, change yourself. Become that man.

First they have to know what a decent man actually is and I really dont think they do.

Yes, you do appear to be rather hurt by the comments.

Its quite clear you're a troll now but let's play along.
Why would we be hurt?
We're not the ones who aren't wanted.

How funny, my DH is a Darren 🤣

On another thread, OP is moaning about the cost of petrol for driving to a date. What a man child.

I obviously don't live in the real world

Apologies. NADALT
😁😁

Oh come now. Don't be silly . Of course you do.
There are millions of bridges in the real world.

And what exactly is wrong with that? They’re making a choice. A batshit one, but assuming they’re fully functional adults , they can make that choice.

Why do you care so much?