Me and my husband have been living in the UK for more than 10 years. I am Eastern European and he is (white) American. We have left London and bought a house in the south east a few years ago. Back in London we used to live on a nice street of terraces with many international families. We never felt out of place there and made an effort to be friendly with our neighbours.
The current house is in a little close of about 10 detached houses and bungalows. Most owners are very elderly (we didn't know it before we moved). Naturally we don't have very much in common with them but we are nice and polite. I have noticed that a few of our new neighbours prefer to talk to my husband, even though I am normally the more social one, and work from home way more than him. Our next door neighbour didn't even know my name until last year. I have a gut feeling that she is uncomfortable to address me, but she got along quite well with my husband who helped her with a few things.
The close is ruled by John, a middle aged ex-forces man in one of the bungalows. He is a type I would not be surprised to find supervising a Raise the Colours operation on one of the roundabouts on the weekends, not that I actually spotted him, so this stereotype might be on me. When there is a problem, like a sewage blockage or an unfamiliar car parked in the close the elderly neighbours ask John for help. He is a bit like a proud rooster protecting his flock of hapless frail hens.
John sends us Christmas cards, but he dislikes us. We replaced a rotten down trellis in our front garden with a slightly bigger one when we moved in and John complained to the council that the new trellis destroys the character of the close (this was disclosed by another neighbour). He has complained to the dog warden that our dog is straying when he accidentally got out of the door and hung around the entrance to get back in. We never confronted him directly about these things because they came to nothing. We hoped he will eventually calm down on his own.
Two weeks ago, when away for Easter we have spotted John and our next door neighbour (an 85 year old widow who rarely leaves her house) through our ring camera, standing in our carport and inspecting the party wall, in animated conversation. We asked what's the matter and John told us that "we are ok, have nothing to worry about". They quickly walked away.
A few days later we received a very officially worded formal letter accusing us of attaching a water pipe to the party wall without asking permission, which has caused cracks in the neighbours house. We were requested to pay for damages and arrange for structural inspection within strict timelines.
We did not attach anything, the pipe was there for the last 10 years, and it is easy to prove if it came to it. Our issue is with the shocking hostility and invasion of our privacy.
I feel very put out that this really normally quite proper and nice old lady who gave our kids Easter eggs a week before and asked us to roll out her rubbish bins on collection day felt emboldened to stride right into our carport when we were away without asking permission and then accuse us out of the blue of tampering with her wall, without even attempting to talk to us first. I cannot imagine how she would react if I was doing it in her carport. It destroyed my Friday morning and I am fuming.
AIBU to feel like we are being singled out and targeted (presumably as foreigners) or is this a typical curtain twitching and low level neighbour to neighbour aggression? And if the former what can we do?