I had no idea that my friend is a multi millionaire!!

[shockedpuppy]

Been friends for 35+ years. Both from "normal" working class backgrounds. I found out today, that her DH's business turned over £100 Million last year. Yes, One Hundred Million, it's not a typo.

They have a nice house in the South East, worth maybe £700k. There are no obvious signs of such wealth. They are not big spenders. We were at a party with them last month, and they were (as usual) quite slow to get the drinks in when it was their turn. We definitely got in more rounds. Gifts at Christmas are especially frugal, I normally receive something that has obviously been recycled as it's so bizarre, or it's obviously a freebie with another purchase.

I had been feeling quite good recently about money, as we pay off our mortgage later this year (house worth about £340k for context), and we will have a reasonable amount in savings. Now I just feel a bit Meh, as we will never attain anything like this. Just one million would do me, lol. I know comparison is the thief of joy, but I feel absolutely positively green with envy.

They will be able to do things for their 3 daughters when the time comes, like buy them homes outright - something we can't do.

We are all in our 50's, if that's of any relevance.

And yet people earlier in this thread are literally saying they are really, really annoyed with their friends for NOT telling them exactly how rich they are!

People have said they are annoyed their friends havent told them how much money they have in reality.

People have said they are annoyed their friends havent explained how they made their money and havent suggested their poor friends make money in the exact same way (yes because suggesting someone buys 6 houses as an investment always goes down well when someone is struggling to pay their rent doesnt it?!)

People have said they feel betrayed that their friends are rich because they havent shown off their wealth or been extravagant in their spending because then they see it as some kind of huge shock/betrayal/secret that theyve deliberately hidden from them.

Yet if they had done all of the above, they'd get your classic response of "humble brag"!

These people cant win can they. They seem to attract fury no matter what they do.

Thats insane to me.
I can't understand the reasoning.
Is it because they want their friend to give them money? Or treat them to stuff? Take them on holiday? (Rhetorical questions)

I can't understand feeling entitled to a breakdown of a friend's assets unless there is an expectation of being given stuff.

Unless the friend was claiming poverty and asking for handouts then it turned out they were sitting on millions of course. But apart from that? It's nuts.

Just to be clear. I don't want any of my friends money. We are not poor. I am just shocked, as I had no idea. And yes, a bit jealous! But as a PP alluded, I don't know the ins and outs, so maybe there are significant costs too. But let's face it, if the business was sold tomorrow, they are surely going to be richer than most of us can ever dream of. And I had no idea! I won't be mentioning this to anyone irl, except my DH. I won't even tell anyone in our friend circle, it's not my place.

You don’t even know that he has any money!!!!!

Struggling to see how this is any of your business.

Why do you think it is?

My post was meant to be a reply to this.

I am just baffled as to why you think their financial situation has anything to do with you, to the point you took the time to look up the ins and outs of their business online.

It’s one thing to use Zoopla to see how much a house cost, but this is appalling. So invasive and weird.

Net worth of a business is not the same as personal wealth, plus business value can go down as well as up. They run a successful business but would only realise potentially (no guarantee) £20m if they sold it. They may only pay themselves £60k a year they may take £500k a year from the company, you don’t know. Sometimes turnover is huge yet the company makes a loss, even businesses worth £20m could be loss making

One could aruge farmers are rich, but their millions of pounds are in assets for their farms. They are certainly not rich. The same works for companies.
I think yabu on this occasion.

@cloudtreecarpet I don’t understand your comment.

My lifestyle is does not reflect my bank balance. If it did, well.. the bank balance wouldn’t be what it is.

We live carefully and I will happily accept my friend paying for a coffee. My children are not spoilt, in fact, I’d go as far as saying my friends with less money spend more on their children.

All of the above. Add in envy, jealousy, and the idea that being able to afford something means that you’re obliged to pay (see the above ‘joke’ about buying rounds).

There was a thread on here recently from a poster who had lost her partner and received inheritance. A ‘friend’ asked her to fund a months long sabbatical from work, abroad. I can recall another thread where another recently widowed poster was asked to invest thousands in a friend’s failing business.

Hell, there’s loads of threads on here from posters struggling with their feelings about friends and/or family having more money than them, and there are always plenty of posters ready to rip those people apart for no other reason than their wealth (it must be debt, and/or they must be secretly miserable. They can’t be happy, rounded people that are also wealthy, because that wouldn’t be fair. They have to pay for it in misery!).

People may claim that they don’t care and don’t feel entitled to someone else’s money, but then that statement is invariably followed up by ‘I just know that if I had the money I’d be treating my friends and family all the time!’.

Just because their company turned over a million, it isn't their money, it is the companies revenue. Their personal wealth is totally separate....

Maybe just be happy for them? None of us gets out of this alive.

Just because the business is turning over that amount. It means nothing 90% could go on qages overheads etc

If your friend went around bragging how much her husbands company was turning over per year you’d be on here writing she’s a cocky bitch flaunting her wealth knowing we don’t have a pot to piss in.
Yet they keep their finances private and your still whinging; I feel for this couple; they really don’t know what a two faced “friend” they have in their midst jealousy is a horrible trait I anyone I hope your friends read this & recognise enough detail to know it’s them & that they call time on your toxic friendship because with friends like you they don’t need any enemies do they

Lots of polished haloes out today! I think lots of people would have had a look when it was brought to their attention OP, feel rightly peeved if they have short arms and have that little moment of dissatisfaction with one’s own lot. Hopefully you will still value the other parts of your friendship and it will be yesterday’s news to you soon.

People have very varied levels of wealth. Unless someone has exactly the same background and job as you and your partner, why would you assume that they have the same financial situation? How people spend their money is really not a reflection of wealth.

Money brings out the worst in people as shown by the OP’s envy.

It's public information, nothing wrong with looking at it.

Yes that was my exact thought too.

"Why do you think you have have the right to count their money, and make assumptions about their private finances - and you’re clearly ill informed too."

Sounds like they have a publicly listed company with public accounts so everyone can see and 'count'.

The wealthy are frugal because they wouldn't stay wealthy otherwise. Some of the tightest people I know are the wealthiest.

It would be a shock to find out but try not to compare your position to theirs - you're about to oay your house off and that is a piece of mind that no-one can take from you.

Not exactly the same thing, but I had a friend who kept going on about being a poor student, can't do this, can't do that. I used to buy some of his drinks. Then I found out he was sponsored to the tune of 13k. I was earning 16k at the time so when you take away tax and the fact I didn't get student discounts, he was probably doing better than me.

I would be annoyed if I'd been buying drinks for very wealthy friends.

Nah. Not at this level. They didn't get 20 million net worth through re-using the tea bags!

Millions of people will be afford to do more things for their kids than you can afford, are you jealous of them too?

I don’t believe that a multi millionaire lives in a £700k house

no way

Op your right it’s none of your business why would your friend discuss her dh business with you. I would definitely be making them buy more rounds but anything else is nothing to do with you.