To think I would rather pay for sex, if I could be assured of the quality

[GrandmaRosiesSecretDrawer]

I’m a really busy woman. I don’t have the time to mess around on apps and the men all seem so desperate and seedy. It’s either ‘I want to meet my perfect match, my soul mate’ or a pic of a headless six pack and the depressingly inaccurate aubergine emojis.
I feel too old to deal with all this. I just want my needs met.
It feels so seedy but I would just rather be fully open about the transactional aspect of it, the fact it’s not going anywhere, the expectation I have, and maybe a small part of me is worried about rejection?
I don’t want a relationship but to get the sort of benefits I dream of appears so complicated.

As with men who pay for sex I think you’d need to consider the morality of it as well as the quality. Masturbation is your friend if you just want the physical release and no relationship.

When I think on men paying for sex - aside from the trafficking/drugs etc etc, what really sticks is how can you enjoy sex with someone who doesn’t want to have sex with you.

@minipie it’s not the same though is it?

It's the same as in your paying for consent, which isn't really consent, is it?

I could never have sex like that.

Maybe try some fancy vibrators out.

Exactly. It’s wrong whether you are a man or woman. Bit suspicious of this thread and a couple of others I’ve read in the last hour or so. 🙄

Sorry why isn’t it the same?

You think male sex workers are in their freely chosen career? You think there has been no abuse or addiction or desperation in how they ended up there? Right

I expect that the worst kinds of trafficking and pimping are less widespread for male sex workers, simply because it’s a smaller industry, but I wouldn’t kid yourself that they actually really want to be doing this.

I couldn't stand a stranger touching me.

I vomit at the thought of it.

I meant a vibrator isn’t the same as a human. Obviously.
Aren’t there more likely to be ethical male sex workers?

Since you know what you want it should be easy to meet good matches at bars. You'll feel chemistry which you can't really do on dating apps

This whole thread seems quite obtuse about the need for holistic female pleasure, it’s not just hitting a spot.

Nobody’s saying a vibrator is the same as a human. They’re saying it’s better than having sex with a human who’s only doing it because they’re being paid.

@ThatFairyand then what? Where do we go? To my house where my children are upstairs asleep with the childminder on the sofa? Or his place where I might be murdered?
Its not that simple…

Go to a swingers club.

You can’t buy consent imo, regardless if you’re talking about male sex workers.

It’s all very well commenting if you’re not in a similar position.

It's not obtuse. Obviously a vibrator is not the same as having sex with another person, but it's the better option than prostitution.

@JustAnotherWhingerthe thought of a swingers club makes me heave. I don’t want desperate men and their bored wives, I just want one person, for one lunch break twice a month.

That's probably what the seedy gross old men tell themselves when they pay a young woman for sex too.

If you just want one man for one lunch break twice a month, put exactly that on a dating site profile. You will be inundated.

@Shallotsaresmallonionssorry are you married? Long term relationship? You know as well as I do that women are not safe going home with men from bars/ meeting men online. The situation is just not the same as men searching for female sex workers, the power is never on our side even if we are the punters.

@Starbuckscapbut they might turn up and smell weird, or laugh in a horrible way, or smack their lips when they drink. I honestly need that sort of robot pilot which is being developed, something clinical. My sensory needs ruin things for me very quickly.

The situation is not the same, that's true, but that doesn't make it okay either.

Most relationships start online these days and many men would be very happy with fwb set up. Just put that on a dating site and weed them out.

Have you ever tried swinging events? They aren't like the stereotype you portray and could be exactly what you are after. They are extremely safe sex positive environments for single women, who are treated like absolute queens.

Yes but are the men she’s going to be inundated with going to be attractive to her?

TBH I think paying for sex is seedy whatever your sex. Perhaps a FWB is what you want OP.

I hear you OP, I think i’d prefer the same! I love living on my own, and doing my own thing. I don’t want a man coming along and spoiling that!

Maybe you have to concede on not having a relationship ?