No I’m not trolling… Does anyone feel anxious/ embarrassed about letting a new partner see you down below

[Lina012]

Yes I’m probably mad and probably immature but I can’t help it. I’m nearly 34 years old and whenever I’ve had a new sexual partner I want to hide myself. I’m always overcome with thoughts like “What if mine isn’t pretty enough, what if I don’t look normal” Well logically I know I look “normal” but I still can’t help feeling the way I do. It’s almost like a shameful feeling but I don’t know why. Am I the only one who’s embarrassed about something so small in life 🤔 I don’t have any particular concerns in that department it’s just the overwhelming sense of embarrassment.. like no you can’t see me naked, that kind of thing.

Nope, I always reckoned any man who saw intimate parts of my naked body was a very lucky man.
Having said that, and now being married to the same man for decades, I doubt I will ever have to give it another thought.

You might be surprised how much variety there is in porn.

Yeah this, basically. Setting aside how women are conditioned to feel shame and hatred about their own bodies and sexuality, what it boils down to for me is that I feel like my fanny must be a minging thing to behold because I'm straight, so feel a bit turned off by the thought of looking at and doing things to one. It's not so much that I'm embarrassed about how it looks as such, it's that I get a sort of cringey feeling like "ew, why would you want to do that?" about it being touched or looked at. I think straight women just can't see the appeal.

And I say this as someone who really likes women's bodies aesthetically, who gets girl crushes etc. I'm not militantly straight or whatever, I just think fannies look like Predator's face and I'm not sure why anybody would want to stare one down.

Turn the lights off?

don’t think either male or female genitalia are particularly aesthetically attractive.

far more interesting in what you do with them when combined - rather than looking at them???

No.

I only felt subconscious when I had gained a lot of weight.

I can honestly say Ive never thought about this before. And don’t intend to now.
If he’s spending that much time looking at it instead of getting involved then throw him back.

Erm. What?

What does, "it can get in the sea with the whodo it" mean please?

Did you mean to be so rude?

Any need? This has been my experience and women need to know the possibility and reality of aging.

I wish I had enjoyed my 20s and 30s more!

Yes I know how you feel! I’m late 30s and I know it’s a trend to be completely shaved down there but I never hopped on that bandwagon. Whenever I get that far with a new partner I’m terrified that they will be put off by my hair lol. I know it’s completely unreasonable and a little pathetic but the last two times I’ve made an excuse and apologised saying I normally would have shaved but I wasn’t expecting this to happen or something along those lines

Or not. More tedious menopause scaremongering 🙄

Don't be dismissive of issues, you haven't experienced.

If its any consolation men think the same. Except men's willies are ugly. Lady parts are not. Never.

Not that area, but my boobs? Absolutely. The thought of it fills me with dread. Cause I’m so saggy and flappy. Think spaniels ears 😒

Why wouldn’t you feel a little nervous, unless you’d had some very frank conversations about sex beforehand (highly recommended)?

Presumably you like this person, and you want them to like you. For better or worse, your privates are a part of you which society places a lot of idiotic expectations on. The first time you are intimate with a new partner is the time you find out whether they’re the person they say they are or whether they’re a weirdo who wants a plucked Barbie fanny that smells like fresh roses.

Well if it makes you feel better, I"d imagine it's much worse for a man - the judgement around size/shape is very real!

These are not inevitable consequences of menopause ffs

It’s not dismissive to point out that the majority of women do not end up with ‘wrecked’ genitals in menopause. Sorry if that’s your situation, but you’re talking as if it’s the norm, and it’s not.

And testicles are not exactly esthetically pleasing. I tend to think genitals are more for function than for beauty.

Have you looked at it, @Lina012 ? Do you know the bits and what they do? That might help, getting a bit familiar with it.

Do they though? They always seem keener than a new granny to show off pictures of their little fella.

My original response was in jest, similar to the original post.

I see I've triggered a few in this thread.

The lack of knowledge or understanding around the female anatomy, aging, menopause etc, never fails to amaze me.

Vaginal Atrophy and Pelvic Organ Prolapse is still a taboo subject.

Yet at least 50% of women will experience it.
And a large proportion of womem of women who don't experience it, dismiss it.

www.rcog.org.uk/news/rcog-calling-for-action-to-reduce-number-of-women-living-with-poor-pelvic-floor-health/#:~:text=New%20data%20reveal%20over%2060,help%20from%20a%20healthcare%20professional.

It’s called ‘bumping uglies’ for a reason 😜