No I’m not trolling… Does anyone feel anxious/ embarrassed about letting a new partner see you down below

[Lina012]

Yes I’m probably mad and probably immature but I can’t help it. I’m nearly 34 years old and whenever I’ve had a new sexual partner I want to hide myself. I’m always overcome with thoughts like “What if mine isn’t pretty enough, what if I don’t look normal” Well logically I know I look “normal” but I still can’t help feeling the way I do. It’s almost like a shameful feeling but I don’t know why. Am I the only one who’s embarrassed about something so small in life 🤔 I don’t have any particular concerns in that department it’s just the overwhelming sense of embarrassment.. like no you can’t see me naked, that kind of thing.

Pretty down there???
I wouldn’t even give it any thought!
everyone’s kind of the same!

@Kittyfur Well not exactly pretty, pleasant I guess. Not sure how to word it.

Oh and I’m a woman by the way. Not that it particularly matters in terms of more context needed.

Are you sure you’re ready to sleep with a new partner if you’re worried about this? Don’t feel pressured to be naked or have sex before you’re comfortable - sounds like you’re trying to force yourself to be ready to share intimacy you’re not ready to share.

I feel self-conscious about my body, but not usually that area. If we're at that point, I assume he's happy with what he sees, and I'm hopeful too wrapped up in what's going on to be worried.

If it helps, the esthetician I go to told me there are two "types" - innies and outies - and other than that they pretty much all look the same in her experience.

No one's bits are pretty, male or female. They're not really for looking at imo.

Wait til your in your 50s and the menopause wrecks you...
Multiple pelvic organs prolapses, Vaginal Atrophy etc etc.

Relax, your bits are young and function!
Have fun.

You need to Google the 'Great Wall Of Vagina'
It's a feminist art installation made of plastercasts of loads of real life fannies, women of all ages posed for it.
And that matters because men nowadays mainly see curated porn vaginas, and are driving a wave of young women to have unnecessary surgery.
Love yourself and love your vag x amazing things they are!

I’ve seen quite a few fannies. They’re all largely the same in the way that they’re all a bit different but unremarkable. I can guarantee someone you’re about to be sexual with isn’t going to be scoring it out of 10 (for aesthetics, anyway). Forget this one!

That’s the thing, deep down I know we’re all the same just slightly different. Maybe I should work on my overall confidence, I really lack it in general.

I do actually feel like this. I think it’s because it’s an area that’s hidden and that we don’t compare with other people. I know it’s irrational but I do have the same feelings.

Switch the narrative - if anything the new partner is lucky to be seeing it at all, not matter what size/shape/colour it is!

Oh my God is there any need for this?

Not everyone gets "wrecked" by the menopause and you shouldn't be so horrible.

Re the op straight men like them in a way I don't think straight women can fully understand - don't question just roll with it

OP, I would examine whether you'd feel this with every partner, or if some are giving you vibes that they would expect unrealistic "perfection", or compare it to a vulva in porn, or just judge you generally for some reason. Your gut can pick up on these things.

The only men who deserve to share it with you, would tick none of those boxes,so try positively affirming how wonderful you are, vulva too ❤️
There's an artist on insta called Lydia Reeves, she makes plaster casts of people's body parts and they are very interesting, beautiful and educational in seeing how different we all are. And how normal. And how amazing.

I’m 55 and my fanny is fine. I look after it with hrt, topical estrogen, testosterone and pelvic floor exercises. My DH still enjoys looking at it after 30+ years anyway!

I did used to be embarrassed at partners seeing my bits when I was younger though. I definitely felt shame, it seemed very transgressive to let someone look at it. In fact I managed to have most sex without them really seeing it!

Lighten up! I don't think it was meant to be taken quite as seriously as you have taken it.

It's a completely standard horrible thing that some women insist on doing and it can get in the sea with the whodo it

My fanny is about the only part of me I haven't been embarrassed to show!

Well it’s bloody distressing when it happens to you unexpectedly! For many years women weren’t supported through menopause and suffered as the PP described, without hormone cream, without information.

I’m bloody glad I eventually got my prolapse repair and oestrogen cream. I had to fight hard enough for it! No one told me it was possible let alone necessary, in fact they told me everything was ‘normal’.

Yeah mate, I’m dreading it. It’s like a punched lasagne 😭

They call it 'bumping uglies' for a reason! If there's any part of you that you don't need to worry about, it's down there. Men have much more to potentially feel self-conscious about.

I always assumed that any partner who got close enough to look at it was very very grateful of the opportunity. 🤷‍♀️

I think she was joking lol

Guess what I've got for dinner tonight ?

I'll be thinking of you, but I'll refrain from punching my meal.