Incident at school - come and give me your thoughts.

[Newnamez]

DD is 12 and in yr7 (first yr of secondary).
On the last day of term before Easter she came home and told us that during the first lesson that day 2 'older girls' (she thinks yr9) came to the class (which had a stand in teacher that day) and asked for her by name and said she was needed at the school office by the Head teacher. She went with them. The girls walked ahead of her whispering.
By chance a TA that DD likes and chats to came out of a room and saw the three of them and asked the girls where they were taking DD. The older girls said 'the office' and the TA said i'll take over and they ran away. The TA shared with DD that one of the girls is her (TAs) cousin and said she was a ''little shit'' !! TA took DD to the office and no one had sent for her. TA took DD back to class. That's the bare bones of it. That is literally all i know.

Now, i hear about this at 6 that evening from DD and get more horrified the more i think about it. I emailed a head of year level teacher that evening. I heard nothing all easter holiday which is fine, but i heard nothing from anyone last night either. (yesterday 1st day back)

Ive told DD not to leave class unless an adult has come for her from now on.

Im going to ring the school this morning to ask to speak to someone in person about this.

Am i wrong or is this quite worrying?! How did the girls know my DD s name and where she'd be? Where were they taking her? Why were they wandering round the school? How are they going to stop this happening again?

What would you do/say?

TIA

I understand why you’re upset by this. I would request an appt with the head of year to discuss further.

Yes definitely ask for a meeting in person and explain the family link between the TA and one of the girls so they can identify who was involved. This is very concerning and you need to speak to someone from the senior leadership team to discuss how they are going to safeguard your daughter- have they gained access to a timetabling system with students' names and classrooms? Very odd.

Thank you. I'm normally very good at giving advice but when it's me i tend to struggle to know how to react to things. I am angry that she was led out of class where she should be safe!

Thank you Nursemumma also.

Right. Yes. I know it sounds daft but even if you two are the only ones who reply here i've got the confidence to go with my feelings.

Im going to ring at 9.

Very off but also why would
the ta say
little shit. That’s also weird!

Yeah I would be very concerned. Mostly about where exactly they were taking her. They obviously had a plan.

Yes , I'd be concerned as to what they were up to. I'd definitely ask for a meeting.

Incredibly creepy. You're very right to pursue this. Is your daughter ok about going back today?

Just to say do what others are saying. Year head. Dont be fobbed of. Needs dealt with. Girls parents involved etc.

Gosh you are absolutely right to be worried.

I’m a HOY and would be very keen to investigate this. Can you email her HOY directly?

I wouldn’t worry too much about them knowing her name- as in, they needed a name to pull her from class, but they may not have actively targeted her intentionally. It may just be that she’s someone whose name they had picked up.

But their intentions, whatever mischief they had in mind, that is a worry and well worth informing the school.

I know right?!
Unproffessional.

In my email i did not repeat those exact words. I said that the TA used the words 'behaviour issues'. But she didn't.

I did this because i didn't want to get the TA in trouble.

Did the class teacher just let her go willingly too?

Very concerning

100% ask for an in-person meeting.
I wouldn’t mention the TA swearing, she seems to have helped DD and that might get her into trouble.
Very worrying that your DD was led out of class, what were they planning?!

She went back yesterday. Yes she's ok. I tried not to make a fuss and scare her. She knows i emailed. I've told her not to leave class with students going forward and i put that in my email too.

How bizarre. I hope you get a good response from the school.

I was just going to ask the same thing.

Surely the teacher thought it was strange for 2 older pupils to just show up and ask for your daughter. The fact the teacher let her go is very concerning.

They may have known her name, but to know exactly which lesson she was in at that time takes some investigation!
It's also strange that the lesson was being run by a supply teacher - was that coincidence or part of the plan? They presumably wouldn't have known any of the pupils involved, or been familiar with the system the school uses for summoning pupils to the office.
The whole incident definitely needs investigating.

I'd be asking DD for a little background on her history with the girls. Does she know them? Are they friendly to her or hostile?
Obviously the school needs to sort out how two year 9s were roaming round in lesson time and why the cover teacher thought it was OK to release DD to them without any adult say so.
However it would be useful to give the school any background so they know if they're dealing with a random prank, as in DD chosen as random or because they have some sort of acquaintance with her, or if it's something more concerning, that it's part of a bullying campaign.

I think you should relay the “little shit” comment.In an investigation its important to lay out the facts.Dont let your fear of getting someone into trouble override protecting your daughter.

I don’t understand how they can wander around when they should be in lessons, that’s another problem I’d bring up with the school. It is concerning, what we’re they going to do, girls can be wicked and cruel. Make sure you get a satisfactory outcome and don’t let them brush it under the carpet, good luck 🤗

I think the entitlement of parents these days is ridiculous and there is so much time and energy wasted on parents quibbling over minor things that happen to their little darlings in school. But, this is different. I would absolutely be pushing for a formal investigation here. As you say, why were those girls wandering around? Where were they taking your daughter? I'm astounded that you have not even been acknowledged for what appears to be a serious safeguarding issue.

Odd behaviour all around.
Ask whether it is the norm for other students to pull kids from class? For the teacher to just accept this implies it is🤷‍♀️
I wouldn’t have let my students out of class just like that, especially the younger years.

The TA did help your daughter, but if I were you I would report factually everything that you know (including the 'little shit' part). It's not your responsibility to intuit or suppose the moral intentions of others*
The situation is very worrying (they weren't gonna take her off for a picnic, put it that way)* and the school needs to investigate every aspect of this pronto.

(*I realise I'm making judgement about their moral intentions 👍)