Incident at school - come and give me your thoughts.

[Newnamez]

DD is 12 and in yr7 (first yr of secondary).
On the last day of term before Easter she came home and told us that during the first lesson that day 2 'older girls' (she thinks yr9) came to the class (which had a stand in teacher that day) and asked for her by name and said she was needed at the school office by the Head teacher. She went with them. The girls walked ahead of her whispering.
By chance a TA that DD likes and chats to came out of a room and saw the three of them and asked the girls where they were taking DD. The older girls said 'the office' and the TA said i'll take over and they ran away. The TA shared with DD that one of the girls is her (TAs) cousin and said she was a ''little shit'' !! TA took DD to the office and no one had sent for her. TA took DD back to class. That's the bare bones of it. That is literally all i know.

Now, i hear about this at 6 that evening from DD and get more horrified the more i think about it. I emailed a head of year level teacher that evening. I heard nothing all easter holiday which is fine, but i heard nothing from anyone last night either. (yesterday 1st day back)

Ive told DD not to leave class unless an adult has come for her from now on.

Im going to ring the school this morning to ask to speak to someone in person about this.

Am i wrong or is this quite worrying?! How did the girls know my DD s name and where she'd be? Where were they taking her? Why were they wandering round the school? How are they going to stop this happening again?

What would you do/say?

TIA

That sounds perfect.
Good call about the Safeguarding Lead.
👍

I am reading everything.

Going too quick to name quotes but thank you all so much. I would have sat here doubting myself otherwise.

what was your previous email like?

Can you do video call if hard to get into school?

DD come home by a small school coach for village kids. Same kids in it each day. Safe i think.

So many people getting hung up on the little shit comment, THAT IS NOT THE CONCERN HERE

Long!

I detailed the whole incident like my OP here. Plus more about how concerned i was and questions i had.

Shamelessly commenting so I can see the update when there is one!

I would be really concerned about this. They need to hear the girls' explanation of what they were planning to do with her

Exactly! The school won’t overly care that she said this, just a slapped wrist! They will care if she didn’t report the situation and they will care about the situation itself.

Yeah my child wouldn’t be going back to that school. Ever. The school cannot exactly give her a bodyguard for every playtime and between each lesson and if those girls had plans that were scuppered then they’ll try again with something else, that much I’m certain of. I was horrendously bullied at high school and whenever anything was interrupted, they ALWAYS found me later.
Schools generally don’t care, they have a very “What absolute evidence do you have? None? Oh well then there’s nothing we can do…”

I normally would be able to easily drive to the school but have a 2 year old all day today and no car seat. Plus would not even attempt to go to the school with little one which isn't mine in tow.

Honestly if we (can i say we? i feel like you're all with me!) don't get anywhere by the end of today wrt getting a meeting booked in i will just drive up there tomorrow morning.

You've done exactly the right thing OP. I hope you get some answers and the school take action on this.

You can just change your settings to see OP updates on threads you watch.

Hope you get to the bottom of it all Op.

Hopefully "little shit" is your daughter's interpretation rather than what the TA said!

I would also hope that the TA has already flagged it up.

I'd email the actual Head/principal

it's creepy!!

poor DD. You've done right telling her not to go off with students, just adults.

i know you don't want to scare her, but I'd rather tell her to stick with friends at breaks & make alternative travel arrangements so these two can't corner her again. A little bit scared is better than a lot hurt.

can a parent of the 2 year old not collect them or arrange someone else to, so that you can deal with this today.?

another lesson learnt, always have a appropriate car seat for any child you're looking after, shit happens & not being able to deal with it because of a lack of car seat..

In my school we never let pupils out on the word of another pupil .If a teacher or career adviser wants to see someone they phone the class or email in advance. This is due to a girl being attacked more than 20 years ago and the council introducing the policy.
I actually would mention the little shits language - not to get the TA into trouble but to show her level of concern. behaviour issues is so generic it could mean anything and not always problematic to others

Teachers are really busy and sometimes if nothings actually happened it gets shoved down the pile. Keep on at them until you have a meeting and are satisfied with the outcome.

I'm so sorry to hear you were bullied 💐

Part of me wants to keep her home! She's a happy go lucky girl who is very friendly and trusting. The thought of her following these girls along the coridoors worrying only about being sent to the office makes me want to cry to be honest!

Am I missing something? They didn’t know her name by the sounds of it as they walked up to her and asked her name?

It sounds like a prank. They walk up to any child and ask their name and say the office wants to speak to them.

It’s wrong and should be looked into but just wanted to try and put your mind at ease that it may be that your child wasn’t specifically targeted. Kids can do random shit for a laugh.

What

so what if the TA said it?? Her DD is Y7, it's hardly something she wouldn't have heard before or said herself.

and is by far the least trouble thing here.

@Franpie, they didnt 'ask her name' they 'asked for her by name'.

I’m afraid that’s not that unusual, particularly at the end of term. This is the reason (one of the reasons) why schools attempt to limit pupils going to the toilet during lessons, but that leads to parents screaming about human rights, so it can be hard to enforce.

It's a massive safeguarding failure, but I hope the meeting will achieve something. Just ensure that she never leaves a lesson.
I know you must be worried, though.

Ah, I see, I missed the “by”.

💕 She’s a lucky girl to have a mum who is protecting her like you are! Don’t let them fob you off.

If you do decide to pull her out, you could potentially get her moved to another school within days. In my area at least, it’s a very quick process.

ugh is it bad that my first thought is that terrible Jamie Bulger case? 😓😥 OP you must get this listened to. I'm sure its nothing sinister but what was going through their heads?! why your daughter?! well done to tell her not to leave class without an adult / teacher but god this needs looking into.