To leave a note at his door

[singlemum10]

Okay, I need opinions...

I have a crush on my neighbour (who will be my neighbour for another 3 months) but I rarely see him, and when I do I’m usually with my son so it’s not really a moment to talk. But he is so kind to us both and extremely handsome. I'm a single mum in my late 20s, have 2 child-free nights a week and don't have time to meet people in day-to-day life and I very much miss having a connection with someone

So I’m thinking of leaving a note on his door like:
“hi neighbor, I always forget to ask if my stroller is in the way in the entrance - let me know if it is, and you can text me on xxx if we don’t run into each other” (I genuinely do always forget to ask)

Very neutral, not flirty as I don't know his relationship status or if he is even into me! I'm just not sure if this is the worst note ever to leave haha, just thought it might open the door veeeeeery slightly

What should I do?
A) leave the note (lowkey, no expectations)
B) leave the note but add something to make it easier to start a conversation
C) don’t leave a note, just wait until I run into him
D) abort mission completely lol

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Next time you meet him in the hallway drop something. When he's bending down to pick it up, you quickly do the same. Make sure your hands touch when trying to pick up whatever you'd dropped and look him in the eyes while it's happening - give him your best 'longing stare'. Then try kissing him.
Works every time. Good luck.

This is worse than the note idea! 😀

Im hopeless ar this sort of thing @singlemum10 but I love love love the idea of an emotional support cake.

Good luck!

I used to have a flatmate thirty odd years ago, who would ask me to do her dirty work for her because she was too shy. I was even more shy but she was very insistent. I always had to be the one to say “My friend fancies you!” And he’d look around and catch a glimpse of her face as it went beetroot, then ask me out instead. It all got very awkward. Just go up to his door, “Hi Jim, my friend fancies you!” Etc

Well the point of the note was to make it as non-flirty as possible in case he does have a girlfriend (imagine she was with him, or saw it before him!), and then kind of start a conversation from there as the contact would then have been initiated. Thought that's the most respectful thing to do and the least embarrassing for myself. But people aren't keen on it! 😂

God I hope this is satire

How old are your children?

B

Definitely don’t knock on the door OP!

Some people find it really intrusive and so you’ll be starting off on the wrong foot.

Keep trying to talk to him when you see him.
I would definitely ask him about the stroller being in the way and perhaps have another question ready to ask him that relates to your building.

You can mention that you’re moving down the road too.

Then when you’re moving, then put the note through the door.

I like the note idea OP 🤷‍♀️😊

I fear that unfortunately this is some men’s fantasy come true - except they are the one sitting in the stroller 🤢.

I met my DP by texting his manager at work who I knew briefly from chatting in the shop he worked in, I had the managers phone number from making an enquiry and he’d text me back with the details a few months before.

I told him I fancied one of his staff and asked if he was single.
I worked round the corner and after work the manager was waiting for me with my confused DP who didn’t have a clue why he was there.

Luckily it worked out but 13 years on we don’t tell people how we met and just say it was at work.
Not surprisingly he doesn’t like the idea of people discovering he was delivered to me like a piece of meat and I’m not keen on my wanton ways being exposed in case people think I’m a forward hussy.

Oh and I found out later his manager was disappointed because he apparently fancied me and his texts about the business he ran were to lead to more conversation so people are correct when they say that this approach doesn’t work.

I didn’t have a push up bra but this was before I hit perimenopause and fell to pieces and became old and haggard, these days I’d have to rely on baked goods to reel in another man and I shall keep a steady supply of cake for DP now in case some temptress tries to woo him with her lemons!

I will now never not be able go think of an emotional support lemon drizzle…
might need a special collar with a label and everything.

A

That note is fine! He’ll have your number then. 😉

I'm going to go against the grain! Leave the note! It's non flirty, you can totally claim it was all about the pram if it ever gets mentioned and he's not interested AND it doesn't stop you from making any moves in future if he just doesn't get the hint. Life is too short! Go for it!

Just speak to him. You aren't teenagers but grown adults.

sorry but if the feelings were mutual surely he would have done something by now also....so d

I think write the note but add a PS: are you allergic to lemons?

Do I understand this correctly…….you see your neighbour when you’re with your DC in the stroller????? Why can’t you then invite the neighbour over for coffee sometime? What is the harm in engaging in conversation when a child is there…….it’s not like you’re going to ask for a bunk up is it??

Neighbour knows you have a child so strike up a conversation when you’re with your child rather than just saying ‘ Hi’ and moving on. He might want to get to know you better but think you’re not interested. There’s no harm in inviting someone over for a coffee in front of a child is there??

C or d

I have asked out a lot of men. Especially in my 30s when my divorce was over, I'd healed, had a good job, and my son was older.

Never again. Without fail EVERY man I asked out assumed I just wanted sex, and that's how I was treated by them all. There was no real harm done, but a lot of disappointment. I didn't let them disrespect me, but I did make a lot of mistakes and put way too much stock into relationships which weren't going to happen.

I then joined a dating site in 2011 and that's where I met my current partner and we've been together almost 15 years now. He approached me, but before him, I again wasn't afraid to approach anyone I liked the look of on the site (but again, they assumed I just wanted sex).

And when I say I asked them out, there was nothing sleazy about it. I always kept it light hearted.

As long as you think you can keep it light hearted, I would knock on his door. You can do the cake thing (I never did anything like that) or just say a warm "hi! How are you?" and then carry on from there.

I also see nothing wrong with the note idea, and I have done this before with good results.

D. You’d know by now if he was interested in you.

I suppose that he wouldn’t in a hundred years think that this note was an invite for a closer connection. I’d find a different topic for a note. Something more direct. I’d ask him if he’d like a coffee sometime before he leaves