Laid back, easy going people - tell me your secret

[HarrietBeat]

I've had enough of being highly strung. I want to be carefree!

If you're easygoing - were you born that way or did you become laid back?

Magnesium. I don’t react as emotionally as I used to. The old me would have blown up over most things that just roll off me now

Having gone through some traumatic events in my early adult years, I realised that most things that people fuss and panic about really don't matter very much. I also grew more and more confident with age.

Sertraline and loads of CBT.

(I'm not sure I'd be described as laid back now, but I am known for being very calm and unflappy at work and am good at thinking 'does this actually matter?' in my personal life)

What dosage and/or brand please? I will order right away!

Not worrying what others think.
I'm 62. My mortgage is paid, my ds is healthy, happy & off to uni in September, and I have an adequate pension.

I don't worry about men, career or money anymore. I enjoy my work without career stress and it is local so a 10 minute rural commute.

It makes a huge difference and has taken a long time to achieve. It's easy to be carefree when the main sources of worry are no longer there.

Have an absolutely catastrophic fuck up. After that everything else seems pretty trivial.

As another poster has said above, a traumatic experience puts life clearly into perspective. But obviously you don’t want to have to go through that lol.

in my case a close family member was seriously injured very randomly and we nearly lost them. Every worry I’ve had since is nothing compared to that time,so I just let it go over me. If I can get through that trauma I can get through anything

Firstly don’t worry what other people think about you. Just taking that one step changes everything.

Secondly always remember the saying “This too shall pass’. It helps you to not think that any current drama is a total catastrophe.

I also use a tactic a mentor once told me he used and that was when faced with a bad situation to think through the absolute worst possible outcome and then realise that even that was manageable. When you then realise that the worst outcome is invariably far from the most likely to occur, you gain confidence that everything can be handled.

I decide very carefully and deliberately, precisely what I am going to spend my limited amount of fucks on. I dont give any to things I cant change, influence or control in anyway. I'm extremely practical and calm in an emergency...dealing with what is in front of me. I dont catastrophise or go down 'what if' rabbit holes. There's no point.

I have a life limiting illness and it puts things in perspective

A really shit memory helps me enormously. I don’t have the capacity to hold onto anything that makes me uptight or worried. Obviously it has its downsides.

My natural instinct is still to be intense rather than laid back, but I have got better at not sweating the small stuff.

At the same time, the most easy going and flexible people I know are very often late for appointments, and I hate being late, so I don't want to become that easy going.

I don't worry about things I have no control over, I make my own way in life, am dependant on no-one, am happy for what I have, have no envious thoughts and could not care less what people think of me.
Some of this comes with getting older but the rest.... I think I have always been like it.🙂

Age and a couple of life-threatening health problems helped to put things in perspective for me. I can still occasionally get angry, but it doesn’t last, and it certainly doesn’t taint the rest of the day like it used to.

The most relaxed person I ever knew had no Internet, no smart phone, never watched the news, didn't even have a television, never ate processed foods or drunk anything other than water.
In fact, his life consisted of working outside as a handy man, coming home, cooking himself a meal, bathing and going to bed early in order to be up and out the door early the next morning.
He had many friends and was the happiest most relaxed person I have ever known.
He always told me that life is meant to be enjoyed and to 'take it as it comes'.

Not to worry about things that haven't happened yet, they may never happen and even if they do, they are rarely as bad as you imagine them to be.

Yeah, what @Ribbonwort said, sadly.
its the only way. Both will ever be the same again and you can’t change that, ever.
After that you’re oblivious for the first few years and then stuff just rolls off yer. Still happens though. Just don’t have any residual emotional energy to spend on it.
so be grateful that you’re not chilled, because it’s a terrible price to pay

I was born this way really. Sometimes I read MN threads about things that stress out other people and it's something that has never even occurred to me. I've done what I want for most of my life and not cared about what others think. I'm very much a logical thinker so I don't have irrational worries and follow evidence-based arguments.

For me it a lot of things.
No kids no man no pets no drama.
And loving who i am.

I used to get hung up on little things ad stress about things like housework etc. I don’t anymore. I ask myself will this matter in a week, a month, year from now. Will anyone die if this or that doesn’t get done? If the answer is no, then there is no need to stress.

In my case I've always been this way, it's not something I have to work on.

You’re going to die relatively soon. Do you want to spend your time worrying about things that don’t really matter?

Lots here resonate. Asking myself will this matter in a few weeks? Is this actually urgent or just the demand of a chaotic, disorganised colleague?

Also liking oneself and one's own company goes a long way.

Some horrible things happened to me and now I just don't care.
As long as the child is alright and doing well, and my siblings, and I'm looking decent and going to work and keeping on top of the house, I absolutely don't care.
I don't worry about anything because there's no point.
I get briefly stressed sometimes because I'm human but it's over in minutes and I crack on with the day.

I've always been this way. I'm just naturally easy going and just not prone to extreme emotions/reactions plus had a secure non demanding childhood.

@Rosy72 Solgar Magnesium Citrate

I agree - when i started supplementing with magnesium around PMS time the difference was night and day. Even my boss noticed 🙈

Anyway, in answer to the OPs question just preparing as best I can for the things that worry me and letting the rest go.

Redudnancy - build an emergency fund of "X" months worth of money and work out a "crisis budget"

Losing parents - i already lost one and found laughter eventually. I will survive it again

My Health - eat right and keep active. Everything else is chance and there is nothing i can do about that

Repair bills that could stress me out - save a pot to help with boiler repairs, fence repairs etc (still working on this tbh)

etc...