Can I leave 14.5 year old for a few hours without a babysitter?

[Stripes84]

My teen is 14.5 years old and used to being at home for a couple of hours on their own in the day/early eve. They are sensible. I am meant to be going out this eve but its around 30 mins away and I would be back around 11.30pm, leaving at around 6pm. We live in a safe road, with good neighbours either side. I have asked DC whether they would like me to ask one of my friends daughters (aged 21) to come and keep them company, or that they could go to their grandparents for the evening, they positively cringed at this suggestion and said they were very much looking forward to being on their own for a few hours with the TV/snacks/house to self. My neighbour on the one side (a lovely lady) has already agreed to be a contact person in case there is any emergency, and of course I would come straight back in the event of this anyway. I am not sure whether I am being ridiculously over the top/mollycoddling. Help, please, mumsnetters.

YABU - its fine for DC to be left!
YANBU - you should get sitter/person to keep company

At 12 my eldest was babysitting her younger sister and brother

Of course it's fine.

I know things have changed, but I think I was baby sitting at this age for much younger children! Also, definitely left for hours in the evening by myself while parents went out.

I mean I was a babysitter at 14...

Of course it’s fine to leave her! She’s at an age where she could be babysitting other people’s children.

Yes you are being over the top and molly coddling

Yep I was also babysitting younger kids at this age. This is about you not them. Why are you so anxious about leaving them?

Sounds fine to me.
When some of us were teenagers, girls of that age might be doing the babysitting!

Wtf? I was babysitting our neighbours' toddlers in the evening when I was 14.

This must be a wind up, 14 year olds are perfectly capable of being on their own in the house after dark. Surely you were left in your own, if you're old enough to have a 14 year old?

Totally fine!

Jesus is was having monitored house parties at 15.

The majority of 14yr olds are used to being left on their own I'd imagine. I certainly left dc1 at that age and I'm a form tutor to 30 yr9 students and they are mostly pretty independent/earn money from babysitting other DC.

Thanks all. I knew I was being ridiculous. No idea why I am overthinking it. I have a tendency to catastrophise but I'm trying to work on it and not project it everywhere. 🤔

I was babysitting younger siblings at 14. Admittedly I wasn’t a great babysitter so wouldn’t recommend this, but I was fine looking after myself.
The situation hasn’t come up as we have a younger child, but I’d be happy to leave my 14 year old alone for an evening so long as one of us was contactable and could get back easily.

Yes of course. You say they are already used to being home alone anyway and are sensible. I mean what could conceivably happen that would be a disaster that wouldn't also occur if you were there?

As others say, some kids of 12-13 babysit for younger siblings of family friends. So at almost 15 alone they should be fine.

If they do end up doing something idiotic then you can tell them they can't be trusted in future and are too immature to be alone.

This is so refreshing. There was a thread a few years ago that almost made me leave mumsnet as it was so batshit. Something about the OP asking if it was ok to leave her 12 year old alone in Costa for half an hour while she had an appointment across the road. The thread descended into hand wringing about how awful it was, they could get kidnapped, the staff would have to parent them and look after them and then people started saying they didn’t even allow their 14/15 year olds to go to a cafe alone. It wasn’t one or two posters; it was pages of it with only a few sensible people in between.

Thank god there is more sense on this thread.

Of course, plenty old enough.

Christ we leave our 12 year old at home in the evening and go out for dinner etc!

Here in Scotland he could be married in 18 months time. He is 14 time to let him grow up. What age were you first left alone OP ?

Love the idea of Jesus having house parties…!

At 14 I WAS the babysitter!

As typos go, I’m happy with this one, I’m keeping it unedited : )

I think I was first left for a weekend about that age!

@Stripes84

no, OP you should pay for a babysitter. If you can’t get one, you need to skip your socialising and stay home with her. Priorities.

Of course. Does the teen know what to do in an emergency though? I was baby minding for a morning and afternoon (separate occasions) a 10-1 year old and up whilst his mother was at work. He was fine with me and his older toddler brother though I had babysat them too and they were street neighbours.