Can I leave 14.5 year old for a few hours without a babysitter?

[Stripes84]

My teen is 14.5 years old and used to being at home for a couple of hours on their own in the day/early eve. They are sensible. I am meant to be going out this eve but its around 30 mins away and I would be back around 11.30pm, leaving at around 6pm. We live in a safe road, with good neighbours either side. I have asked DC whether they would like me to ask one of my friends daughters (aged 21) to come and keep them company, or that they could go to their grandparents for the evening, they positively cringed at this suggestion and said they were very much looking forward to being on their own for a few hours with the TV/snacks/house to self. My neighbour on the one side (a lovely lady) has already agreed to be a contact person in case there is any emergency, and of course I would come straight back in the event of this anyway. I am not sure whether I am being ridiculously over the top/mollycoddling. Help, please, mumsnetters.

YABU - its fine for DC to be left!
YANBU - you should get sitter/person to keep company

Oh I was 16.

And was doing child development gcse at school and the toddler I’d studied as my case study.

I was 11 and ‘watched’ the neighbour’s two younger girls while she did a shift at the nearby newsagent on Saturday mornings. Those crazy 70s!

I think it’s the older child / your child knowing what to do that matters. And you have a plan, @Stripes84, so all good.

I hire 14 year olds in these circumstances to keep my 12 and 10 year old company and ensure they go to bed at the agreed time.

You are massively over thinking this!

Ah I see teen has neighbour. Presumably also teen is involved in caring for her sibling?

70s 80s and 90s teen babysitters sans childcare qualifications minded children as babysitters. Things were fine. Heck even an older teen boy (brother of my brother’s best friend) babysat me. He had 3 younger brothers and just taught us aged about 9 and 11 computer games like the old tennis one. 80s kids. Was just like our older brother or relative.

Your kid is y9 at least. Unless they have a history of partying or fire starting they should be perfectly fine on their own for a few hours!

Not taught babysat us.

My friends now have done the odd Bubble babysitting app jobs for extra cash and can’t believe how much competition there is around. Maybe parents just don’t go out much now?

At 14 I was babysitting for pocket money, as were my own kids in their turn.

I misread this as a teen babysitting a 14.5 month old baby! Still fine! 🤣

Look at it this way OP. Why do you think you need an older person to come and sit with her? What is the actual reason? You know your child is sensible, she's happy to be left alone, you have a neighbour who can be called on in case of emergency, you are only 30 minutes away and would come back straight away.

What do you think might happen if she's left on her own? Is this a reasonable concern?

so was I, from 14. Local streets only though. Had tons of work. I didn’t want and there wasn’t much work for Saturday girl in a shop/hairdresser.

Please do not get a babysitter for her, she'd be absolutely mortified!

Goodness me it’s totally fine.

Especially as the teen is used to being left and has said they want the evening to themselves. Enjoy your night out.

@Cherrytree86 I assume yours is a joke post?

This. Even if she’s ND she should be fine. Independence needs to start somewhere.

To help you and your dd op, I would make sure I kept track of what is normal amongst her peers in that case op. For all the other things to make sure she’s on track independence wise. I’d say you are at least a year out with this question.
as people have said many 14 year old ARE the babysitter.

Seriously? At 9 I was getting off the school bus, letting myself in and staying alone for a couple of hours until my parents got in. And there were no mobiles then. If the kid has the wit to leave a burning building and knows how to use a phone, you're fine.

Good babysitting for me was the kids were almost always in bed or sometimes hanging around chatting and I’d supervise their tooth brushing. Once I swiped some Pimms from one parents cupboard! Otherwise was an angel.

I shared babysitting with an older friend (about 17) and was asked to buy her chocolate and cigarettes (her parents didn’t like her smoking) by the people going out. Respectable middle class people. Was in 80s though.

My mum at 11 was between her dad and mum’s house and when she returned home from school (one bus) she made herself German potato salad which her dad had taught her to make. With boiling water on hob! When she lived with her mum at 12 her mum had her own business so my mum went to the cafe for her evening dinner then home.

They’ll be absolutely fine. Enjoy your evening.

It's important to leave your child and to be pretty no nonsense about it too.
Don't put any fears into their head by fussing about leaving them & catastrophising about what might happen.

So many teens are "over-parented" these days and are becoming less independent and less resilient because of it.

Your child will be fine & leaving them at this age is fine & normal.
Once you have done it you will both be relaxed about it & you will have moved into a new era of independence for both of you.

I babysat at that age and at age 15 i had my first job in the summer holidays, myself and my friend who was also 15 would bike to the local bulb factory (flower bulbs) by ourselves for the early shift and sort bulbs all day and then bike home. People can say it was "different times" and in many ways it was as there were no phones but there have always been dodgy people since time immermorial and the best way for teenagers to learn to handle this world is to gradually let them have independence

I leave my 15 year old alone, hes always got the option of going to his aunts/nans/friends houses but he doesn't care and I don't need to remind him.

He is also left alone with my 6 & 7 year old if it's needed.

At least these days there is always a phone call away!

Yes but then Pontius Pilatus shows up and spoils it for everyone