Can I leave 14.5 year old for a few hours without a babysitter?

[Stripes84]

My teen is 14.5 years old and used to being at home for a couple of hours on their own in the day/early eve. They are sensible. I am meant to be going out this eve but its around 30 mins away and I would be back around 11.30pm, leaving at around 6pm. We live in a safe road, with good neighbours either side. I have asked DC whether they would like me to ask one of my friends daughters (aged 21) to come and keep them company, or that they could go to their grandparents for the evening, they positively cringed at this suggestion and said they were very much looking forward to being on their own for a few hours with the TV/snacks/house to self. My neighbour on the one side (a lovely lady) has already agreed to be a contact person in case there is any emergency, and of course I would come straight back in the event of this anyway. I am not sure whether I am being ridiculously over the top/mollycoddling. Help, please, mumsnetters.

YABU - its fine for DC to be left!
YANBU - you should get sitter/person to keep company

It's absolutely fine. Even more so if it's something they are used to, and they are looking forward to the quiet time.

And we wonder why kids these days have no resilience….

YABU OP. Time to cut the apron strings a bit.

I did this with my DS the odd time from 11, with a neighbour next door keeping an ear out. 🙄

Yes they’ll be fine, go and enjoy yourself!

If it makes you feel better - cook her dinner before you leave and make sure ovens and straighteners etc are off, close downstairs windows etc and lock the doors but have the key nearby so she can get out quickly in case of a fire.

This is the age when you start getting more of your own life back and it feels amazing!!
She’ll also benefit from being responsible and learning how to become more independent.

I hope you have a great evening!!

Another who was babysitting toddlers until 1am at that age.

The fact she’s looking forward to it tells you she needs the independence and is craving the opportunity for grown up experiences.

Unless there's an issue a 14.5 year old should be fine for the timeframe mentioned and I'd even chance an overnight.

My grandparents generation were working at 14!!

WTF? Unless there are mitigating factors you've omitted, this is a ridiculous question!

My parents were strict, I wasn't one of those kids allowed to roam the streets all night or over the park drinking White Lightning, but even they used to go over to friends' house and leave me home alone at 14. They'd usually allow me to invite one or two sensible friends for a sleepover and get nice food and snacks in for us.

If it makes you feel better - cook her dinner before you leave and make sure ovens and straighteners etc are off, close downstairs windows etc and lock the doors

I see this kind of advice often and it does make me wonder. Make sure the oven is off? So a 14.5yo with no SEN that we know of is not allowed to heat up a pizza?

There is no need to ban your 14yo NT DC from cooking. No need to lock the door either IMHO tbh (but then we have our front door permanently unlocked if anyone is in the house which I know horrifies some).

I would have been mortified having to be baby sat at 14 by anyone unless there is ND why would they need a sitter?

It will be fine but I also would be a little anxious leaving my DD (14 in a few weeks) on an evening, although she’s been on her own for full mornings in the past few months when I have to work during holidays. Leaving her for a few hours on an evening is my next step! 🙈

Oh yes, the 'joke' post, how we applauded and fell about laughing. 🙄

Is it a typo and meant to say 4.5? Which is def too young to be left. At 14.5 should be fully capable of looking after the house and pets if you have them. Plus making own dinner.

They'll be fine, keep your mobile phone on, I assume they have a phone with emergency contacts, they won't need them I'm sure. You could text them whilst you're out. They'll quite possibly enjoying being home alone, I like having the house to myself. I used to leave my daughters at that age, when I came home they were amused that I had worried about them. Have a great evening.

I was doing paid babysitting at that age.

I was minding other people's kids for the evening at that age

Unless there’s SEN involved, why is this even a question? Like a PP said I was babysitting from the age of 13 often til 1 or 2 am, and I went home to an empty house from the age of 11 and would cook dinner for when my parents came home 2-3 hours later!

Its all easier now in the days of mobiles (not a thing when I was growing up).

Seeing teens enter the workplace, it doesn’t do them any favours to not encourage independence

Also was left at home all day in my own if I was off sick from day one of secondary school.

Me too. Plus I had a Saturday job! It just shows you how things have changed.
They'll have mobile phones as well.

Same here, I think most parents had no option then.

At 14, we were letting ourselves into the house in the afternoon with a key and getting our own tea out of the oven.

At least you stopped short of suggesting that OP literally wrapped her child in cotton wool.

This sort of mollycoddling is only likely to make the child anxious.

Agreed. And at that age she should be perfectly capable of making her own dinner.

Coddling her really won’t do her any favours

She should make her own dinner, plus clean up afterwards, as well.

? I meant was that poster being sarcastic? I don't see how anyone could really think a 14yo needs a babysitter?

I mean, I had a part time job in a pub age 14 (different times but still)

And then there is this thread…

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5515512-aibu-to-suggest-babysitting-to-my-13-year-old-daughter