10 month old DH said i am being lazy.

[ILoveFatFaceSocks]

When DD (10months) wakes, I change her and then give her milk. I then pop her in her playpen where she happily plays with toys. I then make a coffee and watch some TV - play pen is infront of TV (well TV in on wall, playpen is infront of couch). I sometimes just watch her and occassional look up at TV sometimes I will watch the TV. I enjoy having my morning coffee and she is happy playing. After 30mins / 1hr or so I then take her through to kitchen where I give her actual breakfast, porridge, yoghurt, etc.
DH wfh and when walking past livingroom popped head in to say hi. He looks shocked thst I had a coffee and was lying on sofa watching TV. He asked was mummy having a day off and that the play pen isnt for me watching TV and that im being lazy. I was so annoyed. Is he right?

How much do you do with your child? Are you looking after them all day with no break like OP? If her DH doesn't want the child to be given screentime then he can always step in and take the baby so mum can have some time to herself before giving herself over to being Mum, and play with her while Mum is cooking, or do the cooking himself!

Now the days are lighter, DH can take baby for a walk while you prepare dinner. 😉

I would concentrate on increasing the 1:1 time he has her without you around at all. What happens on weekend mornings when he is not working? One of those he could get up with her and entertain her while you had a lie in. No TV and no sitting down for him while he has a tea or coffee.

I don't think you're doing anything wrong at all. Mum guilt is strong and having a partner or husband who is so critical and opinionated makes it even harder. 🫂

Can you only look at one thing at once? I hope you don't drive, you need to be able to pay attention to multiple things at a time while driving!

Nobody is being unkind. She posted to ask why her husband was telling her this. And then said she genuinely wanted to understand how others saw and did things. So I am giving her an answer. Not saying the husband was right to actually say this to her face by the way (there are many thoughts we have that we don’t voice!), but I would have shared some of his thoughts, so just enlightening her - as she asked.
If people can’t stand seeing a different thought to their own, maybe they should think twice about reading posts which ask for different viewpoints…

I do the lion’s share of the child play, baths, feeding, sleep routine etc. and the only break I get is nap time (with youngest). I also do the cooking, cleaning and all the other tasks in the house too. Oh and I work, regularly run and do other exercise.

My eldest child didn’t get screen time until after 3, and only 1hr maximum from a strict list of appropriate series (no cartoons or any of that Miss Rachel nonsense). Usually doesn’t even last 30 mins before running off to play. At 10 months there was certainly no screens and constant attention with encouragement towards solo play while I was prepping dinner etc. which worked well.

Anyway, I’ve gone on for far too long to state that the OP is lazy.

Never in my life have I sat around watching TV during the daytime, there is always so much to do

because you’re too busy mumsnetting in the day @EndlessTreadmill

Quite. The difference is here the baby is not sleeping…
And nothing misogynistic about the sentence, it’s factual, simply playing back what she said. I would say the same thing (if not worse) if it was the husband lolling about watching the football or whatever for an hour (not a quick 10-15 mins) at 9am whilst the wife is working and the child almost certainly looking for interaction within a short amount of time, as babies do.

I’m surprised you have time to spend on MN, haloes don’t polish themselves.

So you think you can comment on how someone parents when you don't have kids, but you can't google what a word means just because english isn't your first language? 🤔

Ask him to spend the week with your DD and make sure he is up and out the door at 9am, nurturing his DD, teaching her skills, interacting with her….. all the things us mothers do and will continue to do throughout their life with the support from the father! You’re not doing anything wrong! Also I had friends who constantly played with their babies from a young age and they now don’t know how to play on their own. You do you! You’re not a bad mum for having a sit down and a cuppa tea!

Any chance you could share your "strict list of appropriate series" for all of us terrible mums?

😂😂😂
That's a helpful condescending contribution so isn't it

After you have watched tv for an hour and go through to the kitchen to make her porridge, what is she doing then if she won't wait in her high chair?

This a joke?
Share the list and we will be the judge if its any useful to us "english" folk.
Unless this strict list doesnt exist ?

Porridge? Did I say I made Porridge? Another nutter making stuff up.

And the fact youre asking what is she doing if she wont wait in her highchair shows that you havent bothered reading this thread. Well, you've read some but not all, rather pointless isnt it? As youre asking questions you would know the answer to if you just made the effort to read. So I wont answer... go back and read.

It’s probably a bit of a sucker punch if he’s working and you’re sat about for an hour (a long time!) doing F.A. Do you do any housework as well? Personally I’d have downtime later in the day at lunch or when she’s napping.

Child is looking for interaction? Why are you ignoring the parts where I say she is happily playing on her own? Playing with toys and not looking over at me?

No joke. The limited series are in a foreign language, a language of very few speakers. It is absolutely of zero use to 99% of those here. Due to this, why would I waste time in sharing?

Depends what the rest of the day looks like, but in any job you are entitled to breaks.

You never know. Mumsnet is quite a diverse bunch of people.... You might as well share it and see

The baby contact naps, if you’d read the thread. And I’m sure the DH gets a lunch break and toilet breaks any time he chooses, by himself.

Why waste your time saying cartoons are rubbish and you have a strict list.

So cmon, share your list, you think youre doing better so share the list and let us decide?

Or am I really right? The list doesn't exist.

I've detailed what day and nights look like.