10 month old DH said i am being lazy.

[ILoveFatFaceSocks]

When DD (10months) wakes, I change her and then give her milk. I then pop her in her playpen where she happily plays with toys. I then make a coffee and watch some TV - play pen is infront of TV (well TV in on wall, playpen is infront of couch). I sometimes just watch her and occassional look up at TV sometimes I will watch the TV. I enjoy having my morning coffee and she is happy playing. After 30mins / 1hr or so I then take her through to kitchen where I give her actual breakfast, porridge, yoghurt, etc.
DH wfh and when walking past livingroom popped head in to say hi. He looks shocked thst I had a coffee and was lying on sofa watching TV. He asked was mummy having a day off and that the play pen isnt for me watching TV and that im being lazy. I was so annoyed. Is he right?

Your DH sounds like a dick.

He pulls you up on your decisions and parenting without actually doing any parenting himself.

Op don't worry, you'll never win on MN. I had so many ridiculous responses to threads I posted in the earlier days of parenting I just stopped bothering.

If you want some actual, practical advice I would ditch the phone and have her watch a proper TV. Then ditch American shows like ms rachel and stick to good old cbeebies.

I very much doubt my bright and thriving 7 year old has been damaged by in the night garden when she was 10 months. But I do agree phones/tablets should be avoided as long as possible

Rubbish. He doesn’t get to dictate matters in the household because for a few brief months OP is on mat leave.

He wouldn’t if she were a SAHM either.

It would definitely be a good idea for him to spend a 3-day weekend with sole responsibility for her, as then he’ll have a much better idea of what hard work it is.
This will really help your relationship.

There’s really no problem with what you are doing if you and she are happy. I was brought up in a “no TV in the morning” household, not sure why, it was just something that was saved for relaxing later in the day when the work was done. Perhaps that is his mindset as well - but he doesn’t get to tell you what to do.

Thick horrible bitches did make me laugh 😂

Really?

Omg... yeah, like, really.

Oh

Slow Saturday?
Nothing else better to do?
That's okay, you are most welcome here xx

If the cap fits ha! You posted a perfectly reasonable and polite situation.

I'm 53 and was plonked in front of the TV when my sahm mother was cooking, cleaning or just needed a break. Way before "gentle" and "perfect" parenting. I did just fine!

As the world's quietest, shyest and biggest people pleaser, now I'm completely fine calling out unkind behaviour of horrid insecure people who are clearly projecting. Fair enough to politely disagree, but life is tough. Yet some get a kick out of being horrible.

Yes really. Again, try reading the thread.

I think it's more than fine and actually good for her development to be able to entertain herself and be content without external stimulation, be that from a person or a screen.

OP I would love you to leave the house for the day and let your husband look after the baby alone. He is sanctimonious and critical and I would be irritated as hell by his preaching.

OP I wouldn’t be surprised if this just boils down to your husband being ‘jealous’ of you not working at the moment and being resentful and taking it out on you.

How are things going to change when you go back to work? Will you be doing everything you’re doing now and working? Including all the night wake ups and the cooking? Because often the issue is the Mum goes back to work and still does it all. And the man’s life doesn’t change one iota.

Lovely one thanks. No tension or arguing with my husband.

Yes because mine are in their teens now so I have a lot more free time! Didn’t happen when they were 10 months old, or a long time after that, I can tell you!

Agree, and mine wasn’t either. I am not a 1950s housewife and my husband pulls his weight. But I wasn’t watching tv for an hour in the morning. Honestly when our kids were little if he had been doing that so early in the day (so not like having a break after a tiring day), I would have thought he was a bit lazy. It’s not about creating housework, I just find there is always something that needs doing

@EndlessTreadmill

did you ever go to the gym?

Who burned your biscuits? I don’t care if it is outdated, it worked, it suited me, my kids learned to go to sleep and didn’t cry it out. The point I was making was that there is nothing wrong with kids learning to self soothe and that doesn’t mean crying it out. Pick another method, that was just one I used. I’m not sure if you are for or against letting kids cry it out, but you seem bitter. Anyway, in ten years someone will tell you that your parenting methods are outdated, so enjoy this brief moment of being right.

For everyone else, do what works for you, don’t sweat the small stuff, do what you have to do to survive and keep your kids loved and fed, everything else will figure itself out. If that means you drink a coffee and watch TV for a bit, that is fine.

Also, PU PD method is only meant to be used up to 6 months because it is overstimulating after that…if you actually bothered to read it.

Are you the husband?

Clearly as you took the time to kick somebody when they're down.

The OP ordinarily works... he does zero parenting outside of work but spends his days criticising her. So no, his opinion doesn't matter.