10 month old DH said i am being lazy.

[ILoveFatFaceSocks]

When DD (10months) wakes, I change her and then give her milk. I then pop her in her playpen where she happily plays with toys. I then make a coffee and watch some TV - play pen is infront of TV (well TV in on wall, playpen is infront of couch). I sometimes just watch her and occassional look up at TV sometimes I will watch the TV. I enjoy having my morning coffee and she is happy playing. After 30mins / 1hr or so I then take her through to kitchen where I give her actual breakfast, porridge, yoghurt, etc.
DH wfh and when walking past livingroom popped head in to say hi. He looks shocked thst I had a coffee and was lying on sofa watching TV. He asked was mummy having a day off and that the play pen isnt for me watching TV and that im being lazy. I was so annoyed. Is he right?

Exactly!! Someone who can read and who understands!!

My 1st was like this, it was really hard! They were/are highly sensitive and any sort of sleep training would create hours of screaming and going in and out of the cot all the time. Always ended up bed sharing from 12, 1, 2 ..am or sth.
Then around 3 yo, she started sleeping through the night and now is such a good sleeper! There is hope!

I used to have mine in the carrier while cooking (or babygym). I know it makes life one million times harder but any screen time at that age is a negative. There are lots of studies on brain development and screen time in infants you can look at. But I know that most people allow it, so you will do what you are comfortable with

Woohoooo I won playpen Bingo 😂

One thing I will say is that when you become a parent, you grow a much thicker skin. I couldn't give a flying fuck what people think about my parenting choices (people always have something to say about breastfeeding into toddler hood, contact napping, cosleeping etc...). Everyone on Mumsnet will have different points of view because we all parent different.

Your biggest issue isn't if you have a cuppa while your child plays.... its why you allow your DH be such a complete and utterly lazy horrible manipulate prick?

Given the responses I do think a bigger discussion is needed between me and DH (husband not hamster!!)

Honestly the hamster would do more parenting 😂

When do you get to shower or have a bath?
He's gone today to have a haircut and get some books... when did you last leave for a few hours alone? When he's WFH does he take his lunch hour and take over the baby (this is what my DH used to do when I was on Mat Leave.. he would eat his lunch and then give me 40 mins to myself - sometimes I did housework, sometimes meals prep, sometimes a shower etc).

Also pick certain days where he makes dinner or batch cook and you mind the baby, on the other days the baby is with him and you do dinner.

She has screen time for an hour in the morning and whilst you're cooking.
If she cries for Ms Rachel, this is learnt behaviour.
She has more than the recommended screen time for her age.
I am not against screen time for kids and I don't agree in judging parents trying to cope.
Be realistic with yourself about the amount of screen time you are giving her. Then if you're happy, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.
If you DH doesn't like it then he can take her off screen time and do something with her.

It’s ok to be lazy sometimes anyway, being a human being doesn’t mean you have to be productive and slaving away all day, nothing wrong with resting, relaxing or making life easier for yourself.

She isnt watching the tv in the morning. I am!

She isnt crying for ms rachel she cries in her pram, carrier, highchair.. she doesnt like being restrained. But hey, u know best.
For clarity.. no screentime today for anyone.. well me right now but dd napping. My hr in the morning isn't every morning also as I am not in the house every morning. If she was crying for ms rachel the crying wouldn't stop if she was out then would it? She would he cry for ms rachel in playpen... in pram.. everywhere. She doesnt like being restrained.

Absolutely nothing wrong with it at all.

Mums these days are expected to be all singing, all dancing, entertainers and educators from the minute they get out of bloody bed! The pressure to constantly be 'doing something' with baby and giving them 100% attention all day is ridiculous.

Honestly, having your downtime in the morning is fine and if it makes you a better Mum for the rest of the day then so what? Baby seems quite happy entertaining themselves and its good that you have one that can. Don't feel bad about having some time to collect your thoughts for the day and enjoy a coffee before the busy day begins.

Ignore all the negative comments mentioning screen time too. Sometimes its needed so you can get stuff done and as long as baby isn't plonked in front of the TV all day it won't do them any harm.

I used to love doing thks when my daughter was young. It’s such a lovely non rush start to the morning. I have two now and never get to it!

Would you like a cookie?

At this point people are.. excuse my language... stupid and cant read for shit!

SO FOR CLARITY BUT YOU NEED TO READ, OKAY?

SHE DOESNT LIKE BEING RESTRAINED AND CRIES IN HIGHCHAIR, PRAM, CARRIER

PLAYPEN IS BIG BIG, PLAYPEN NO SMALL SMALL (UNDERSTAND NOW?)

I HAVE A MORNING COFFEE AND I WATCH THE TV WHILST WATCHING DD... SOMETIMES I DONT WATCH TV AND ITS BACKGROUND NOISE... THE TV IS FOR ME ME NOT DD DD

SHE ONCE FACED THE TV AND WATCHED FOR SECONDS AND IT WENT STRAIGHT OFF AND I PLAYED WITH HER. NEVER HAPPENED AGAIN.

SO WE ALL UNDERSTAND? TV FOR MUMMY IN THE MORNING NOT BABY. PLAYPEN BIG NO SMALL SMALL. BABY CRY IN HIGHCHAIR AS DOESNT LIKE BEING RESTRAINED.

Must think happy thoughts *sings ms rachel"... I'm so happy, I'm so happy and nothings gonna bring me down... today".

Xxxxxxxxx

As I said, I wasn't judging you despite your, you know best comments. I have kids which are now adults and 2 of which are ND, so I wouldn't judge any parent trying to get through early years.
As I said, if you are happy with s reen time, which you obviously are, then it's only DH's problem and he can do something about it.
If she doesn't like being restricted, could you get a smaller play pen in kitchen so she's not in high chair until last minute? When a bit older maybe a play kitchen so she can 'cook' with you?
If you are happy with everything and it's just you feel like your dh is having a dig, then tell him that he is making you feel like shit, and it's making you question your parenting.

No but screen time in morning and learned behaviour crying for ms rachel. People actually can't read. Some of you have never watched ms rachel, or any educational video, and it shows.

It doesn't matter... it still counts toward screen time for her. But you need to stop focusing on what other people think and sort out your husband.

Baby seems quite happy entertaining themselves and its good that you have one that can.

Yep. This is an underrated skill op.

I never understand when people say their babies/dc cannot entertain themselves as our were good at it - but then it was something I prioritised as I think it is when the best learning happens.

Blocks, train sets, stacking cups ... all those old fashioned toys are brilliant for this

She has stacking cups and wooden blocks and loves them. Particularly flap books. She does have some noisy toys but plays with the no sound toys more. Her favourite toy is actually her own socks. So loves carrying a sock around lol

My friend texted me a few weeks ago saying her and her dd were having a chill day and sent a picture of them both snuggled on sofa watching a Disney movie. Thank god she never came here and asked for opinions. Social services would have been called.

You asked what you were doing wrong.
I do indeed know Ms Rachel. I have 4 grandkids and foster child who has SEN including non verbal and they love her.
Kids learn to cry very quickly for things they want, even if I was wrong, which I was so I apologise, it wasn't meant to come across as a dig at you. Sorry again.
It sounds like you were perfectly happy until your dh questioned you.
I also have no problems with play pens.

New government guidance is for no screen time for under 2s unless an interactive activity (eg sitting together and looking at pictures on your phone). If you add up the exposure to the tv in the morning plus ms Rachel whenever you’re cooking - seems like quite a bit.

😂

Well done to you for finding a way to have a bit of rest before you start a busy day. Most men have zero idea what looking after a baby/toddler entails and how exhausting it all is.

Does he never have a coffee break? Bet he gets his lunch in peace too…

You are choosing to have your rest at a time that works. Baby is in a good mood and happy playing. It’s also a good skill to develop for them - playing on their own

The only thing I’d switch is the screen whilst you are cooking. I think it’s a bit of a trap to fall in to and they are still very young. You don’t want screens to be the only thing that keeps them quiet. So I’d also do toys in the high chair.

Eventually we want kids to be ok with being a bit bored at times. So when they are older they need to be able to sit in a restaurant without a screen. So I would limit use until older and in specific situations.

Whaaaaat so ms rachel whilst I cook is a huge no but if I sat with dd and looked at pictures on my phone its fine? Youre all at it now. Xx